What "manners" have you taught your children?

[mulranno]

Wondered what you have taught your children. Obviously "Please" and "Thankyou" but I have been touched and impressed by others children and worried that mine look like oafs.

What list of behaviours/manners do you insist on.

One child stayed back to thank me for dropping them at school whilst mine and the others just tumble out of the car and run off into the distance....I thought this was really sweet...and then worried that this childs parents would think mine rude for not doing the same.

Also children who come to tea.. wait to eat and then ask if they may start...we dont do this as a family as there are 6 of us and I am just glad to get them at the table and to start eating. They are not allowed to leave before everyone has finished...then they must ask ..then then need to clear their and adults plates...but worried that my children would be seen as rude for not waiting to start to eat etc.

to not talk over other people

sharing

please and thank you

be kind - don't hit and snatch

limit shouting

these are all works in progress as DS is 2.5 years old

all of the above

DD also pays people compliments on clothes/jewellery etc - which does take people back esp as she's only 3

(haven't taught her to do that she just seems to really notice what people are wearing)

Also asks to get down from the table

Please and thank you

Don't start eating till everyone's at the table and don't leave till everyone's finished

Don't talk over other people

The usual sharing, not snatching, no kicking etc.

All of the above with various degrees of success!!

I did the please/thank you thing.

I try to get dd not to talk over anyone else (she's 8 now and apart from at times of giddiness, I think she's getting this one, finally!). No screaming (I hate screamers). Be kind to others and always share nicely.

I don't judge other people whose kids don't do please/thank you, etc. It's easy for kids to forget things when they're in the height of excitement and playdates are the ultimate high for so many kids

I get really annoyed when children don't say hello and goodbye or thank me for meals or lifts. DD1's best friend does this and it really riles as she is 11 and old enough to know better.

So when it happens I say to mine "I hope you don't do that" and glare at them menacingly

all of the above, and to say excuse me if i am talking to somebody elsa and they want my attention.
my kids have to say thankyou for my dinner, please may i leave the table, but i have never had any of their friends do it which i think is a shame

Mine doesn't always say hello and goodbye. She gets a bit tongue tied around adults, so mine will probably be like this

my ds has ASD and does not understand the importance of hello or good bye and can sometimes say thank you without prompting

but he genuinely needs to always be reminded to say hello goodbye please and thank you

but he will play nicely and be kind and his very helpful likes to help tidy away without being asked etc

Mine are not supposed to say they don't like a type of food but, 'I'm not very keen on this thank you.'We do smile when they say it though...

May of the above, and I have a big thing about their behaviour in the street (they are 5 and 8), i.e, not expecting other people to get out of their way when they are on their scooters, saying thankyou if people DO get out of their way, being aware of not bumping into people, especially elderly people, not pushing in at bus queues. I also model to them giving up your seat on a bus to someone less able to stand.

I wouldn't judge other kids too harshly, but I do expect pleases

Mine are taught (but do not in all cases practice) the following:

Please & Thank You.

Adults addressed as Mr or Mrs or Ms or Miss, not by first names, unless told to.

Permission to leave the table.

No interrupting.

Abandon chairs for older people.

Eat over a table, not while walking around, and certainly not while talking.

Victorian Mumsnet throwback, me!

Mine is taught always to try food before rejecting it. Nothing winds me up more that a child who says "I don't like it" without even trying. Especially as 9 times out of 10, if you coax them into trying it they find they like it. I'm frequently complimented on DD's table manners and adventurous palate.

I find it really rude, when children don't ask if they can leave the table,when they have finished eating, i have seen them throw the cutlery on the plate, scrape the chair back and run off,ergggggg make all the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up

please/thank you

hello, goodbye

onlt 3yo and 20 months. so lots more in progress.

One other thing that I enforce is "eye contact" with the hello, goodbye, please and thankyou for adults...as they may be shy...with other children coming here it is the turning their nose up at food that I find really offensive...but havent checked if mione do that else where..hope not..

I'm a nanny, so its a bit different, but I expect the children to

say please/thank you/may I/would you like etc

wait until everyone is sat down to start eating

not lean across the table to get something

Not outwardly winge about something

eat the things they don't like first, and then the nice things. (makes it easier when at a friends house as they don't dawdle with the things they dont like)

Lay, then clear the table, and offer to help at friends house

Make conversation, small talk etc with other adults (ie friends parents)

I'm not sure what else, other ones someone else said when riding bikes etc.

They are 6 and 14.

Please/Thank you
Hello/Goodbye
Thank you for having me/coming to play (she sometimes needs a dig in the ribs for that)
Complimenting meals that have been cooked for her
Please may I get down

but .... she is useless at saying sorry and always has been (age 9). I also can't get her to look people in the eye when she is talking to them (I know this is a confidence issue ... but it is just plain rude).

Ds is 3.4 and everyone raves about his manners (maybe we live in a particularly ignorant area) but we've taught him

Please
Thank you
Pardon me (usually 'pardon me I did a big trump )

If we're taling or watching tv he'll come up and say 'escuse me mummy & daddy' - don't know where he got that from unless he's picked it up watching us.

Not snatching

Sharing

'Inside' voice

And he's always saying he likes my 'beautiful top' or daddy's 'cool t-shirt'

Do not talk over other people: getting there unless I am the one talking in which d=case interrrupting seemas to be ok to then)

Say hello and goodbye: masterd!

sharing: they are rather fantastic with that one.

Please and thank you: usually quite good at it

Be kind - don't hit and snatch : good at it as long as it is not a sibling holding the desired object!

Limit shouting: Oh no, that would be the manners I am trying to teach myself!

Do not lick your knife : very good with occasional relapse!

Do not point at people: not quite mastered yet

Do not laugh at someone whose guineapig has just died: have not started on this one but have come to relise that the situation might occure one day so better be prepared for it!

I have taught all three of my children beautiful manners.
Only one of them ever remembers to use them. I get complimented on how polite and helpful she is on a regular basis - compliments which I accept graciously while knowing the unspokens subtext is that the other two are graceless oiks.

DD's manners are far from perfect (she's only 4.4 though). However, she always manages to ask whether she can get down from the table (thereby showing up other people's visiting children... Grrrrrr.... we haven't mastered making your guest feel at ease yet!).

And she's very good about thanking me for washing her clothes

BonsoirAnna That's so sweet!