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Constant lying in 8yr old DS

4 replies

KTP · 18/03/2009 01:31

I've searched old conversations on here - but am still looking for help/reassurance.

My 8 yr old DS is constantly lying about everything in life. From "have you brushed your teeth" to homework issues - "I finished it at school". It's a knee jerk reaction to most everyday conversations we have. He also has the same reaction at times of things going wrong. It's always "wasn't me" "it was her" . He's always laying blame at others doors. This is easier to deal with, and I do understand it's his way of trying not to get into trouble. But it's the constant needless lying I don't understand.
I've talked lots with him about how I can't trust him because I never know if he's telling the truth, and he does get very frustrated if he feels I am doing him an injustice re: not trusting him.....needless to say in most instances, despite his outrage that I don't believe him...... he is lying anyway! As he's 8 I normally can work out what is the truth, but I don't want to be so Sherlock Holmes about it all the time.

Help!

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RoseOfTheOrient · 18/03/2009 01:38

hi, you could be talking about my DS until recently - he was EXACTLY the same...complete knee-jerk reaction on his part.
He is now nearly 10 and MUCH less inclined to lie...I tried to back off, and trust him more too (e.g I would stop asking him several times if he had brushed his teeth, when I KNEW he hadn't, and just let small things slide...). He once lied to DH about damaging the computer screen (it had a huge scratch on it) and it was kind of turning point, because DS realised he would be better off 'fessing up, rather than digging himself deeper and deeper into the proverbial shit!
hang in there - it does get better

KTP · 18/03/2009 05:08

Thanks ROTO - I think backing off a bit is the way to start. I've dug out all my parenting books today in hope of inspiration.

I am also going to try to start dwelling much more on the positives than the negatives.

All good in theory..........

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Othersideofthechannel · 18/03/2009 06:37

For the 'it wasn't me'.... could you respond 'I'm not interested in who it was but the mess needs to be cleared up before someone slips on it. It'll be quicker if we do it together'. So he gets a chance to remedy the situation without getting the blame.
?

KTP · 18/03/2009 12:53

Yup, good. So he sorts it out with me/DH without any finger pointing. I'll go with that. Thanks.

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