Do they really grow up this fast?!

[KTNoo]

dd1 is almost 8. As part of IT at school they have been given their own email addresses. She is keen to check her email at home every couple of days and doesn't want me to see anything she's reading/writing. Today she called me to help with a technical problem and I caught sight of a message from a boy in her class which read "I think you're HOT!"

Was quite shocked. dd saw I had seen it I think as she looked a but embarrassed.

Is this normal?

my DS is 7, year 3. I just asked him if he knows what "I think you're HOT!" might mean, in the context you had described. He had no idea. He got embarrassed when DH explained though {smile]

The boy who sent the message has an older brother of about 11 so I suppose he hears stuff like that. I think dd would have a rough idea what it means, not sure about the boy though!

I wonder what she replied? I hope it was "ha ha ha" or something equally cynical....

It just hit home i suppose how she's growing up and getting more and more private. Scary stuff! Maybe I was particularly naive as a child, but I was not aware of any of that kind of stuff at age 7!

children on the whole do seem to be a lot more grown up these days don't they? I'm in my early 40s (I think, or it might be mid 40s now really ) and I get quite scared when I see our local senior school girls.
Mind you, DD has just been asked on her first date and she's only just turned 4!!!

Indeed, not sure I'm ready for all that.

dd likes to wind ds (5) up by saying he has a girlfriend etc but he doesn't get it, he just says yes she's my friend and she's a girl. He also says he's never getting married, he's just going to live alone with a hamster.

It's difficult to talk to dd about these things - she's a very private girl whereas ds wears his heart on his sleeve.

I think it's a good rule to have from the word go, that what happens on a computer is not private. Have it in the living room and not in a bedroom. Kids are vulnerable on the internet, not only the obvious 'grooming' but also alot of 'cyber-bullying' can go on between school age kids and it can be awful.

Our DS gets really embarrassed if we mention girls at all. He literally runs away and insists that he's never getting married, will live with me forever and will only ever love me. He also has stopped kissing me!! He'll let me kiss him on the cheek still but even in private, he won't kiss me any more and that makes me really sad. He can't explain why though.

I think you need to get some ICT rules n place for your DD, and also ensure everything is safe guarded as much as possible on the computer.

IMo primary school children should only have supervised use of email and internet applications, and nothing is ever privat on the computer - so emails and MSN is all avlable for grown ups to see at any time.

May also be the right time to give her a chat on online safety.

Mckenzie- My daughter had had her first proposal of marriage by the age of 2. Her fiance was 2.5. She spent a year looking for an outfit, and then dumped the boy the moment she found the right one (a navy blue flowery trouser jumpsuit). Children, eh?

To answer the OP- it is worth keeping an eye on their emails and general internet usage at this age imo. Set your MSN controls to save chats so that you can review things if she seems upset after being online (she may not be using MSN yet, but it will come...).

They grow up so fast!

mind DS1 (3) is marrying his Nanna, when he grows up.

seriously though i would make it very clear to her that you get to read all of her emails etc. i think the privacy that we expected as children has shifted now.

And start on websafety. My dss (12) is very naive still and we worry alot about his computer use, but can only keep reminding him again and again.

I agree I need to make sure she's safe, but what's the best way to approach it? At the moment she only uses a yahoo email, nothing else on the internet. The computer is in the living room and she has to ask me before she uses it so I know how much time she's spending (about 10 minutes every couple of days at the moment). But if I go near while she's typing she covers the screen and tells me not to look. Do you think that's just because she wants privacy or because she's writing love messages to her 7 year old boyfriends?!

They were all given passwords at school and I don't know hers. Should I say to her that I need to see what she's writing? I don't let her see my messages and she would point that out!

you are an adult tho, she doesn't need to see your messages!
So the emial address was started by the school?sounds a bit odd! I would not want my child being set up an email by anyone but me tbh and I would set the passowrd too. Not that I would check it but if he/she was hiding things from me I certainly would. I would respect their privacy as teenagers but as a young child I think its a parents duty to check for groomers etc. You just never know.

I would ask her for her password, if she refuses you can block the yahoo site as part of parental controls. I would be worried as to why she feels the need to hide it at such a young age.

I was surprised the school did that but none of the other parents seem to think it's a problem. I would be surprised if it's gone much beyond what i read already judging by the way she is generally, but like some of you said, I will never know unless I check.

Pretty sure she would not give the password. She's a very sensible girl, listens well etc but also likes her privacy, more and more we've noticed. She doesn't necessarily tell me everything that's going on but I assumed that was normal at this age.

I know the boy who thinks she's hot and he's lovely! Actually he's the head teacher's son!