Oh gosh... how do I tell DS (5yr old) that he is going to be removed from his beloved school next week?

[MeMySonAndI]

That's it... he has been attending a school that only offers key stage 1 (up to the end of 2nd year).

We had selected 2 schools that we thought would be good fro him but... after ringing them we were told that both are severely oversubscribed. But one, just accross my house, has managed to get authorised to give him a place after the easter holidays but can't promise anything after that date.

We have another 2 schools in walking distance that have, unfortunately, being given very bad ofsted reviews. So at the risk of him ending in either of these schools if we dismiss the place the good one can give him after Easter, we need to move him now.

How do we tell him? the factors that worry me are:

• He has made clear he doesn't want to attend that school even when we have not brought up the topic.

• He has problems settling in big groups and is moved from a group of 10 children to one with 40 (I know...)

• When he feels "out of the water" he gets silent, when we moved him to his current school, he didn't talk to anyone for 2 weeks.

• The change to a new school will mean he may end up seeing his dad less (we are separated but his dad takes him to school in the morning which gives him a good 40 minutes together but once he is attending the school next door I'm sure his dad won't want to see him in a daily basis and his time will be reduced to Wednesday night and alternate weekends.

• To add stress to the situation... things are getting a bit strained between ex and I... I needed to take time of work as he was away with work yet another time... as a result I may be loosing my job in the next few weeks... and now the cheeky one is annoyed with me because after dumping DS overnight with friends on the days he is supposed to be with him (to go out), I refused to take care of DS in his Dad weekend so his dad could go on holidays with his girlfriend (I would do it if I were not about to loose my job thanks to his job trips, and if DS didn't spend the days counting the time to see his dad just to be told that Dad can't see him again... )

i think you just need to put your hard hat on and.... tell him what is going to happen and why.... in 5 yo language..... be v matter of fact, dont let him sense your anxieties and be prepared for him to be upset.

can you ease the pain by making sure he has opportunities to see old school friends regularly if he wants to? is there a child from his new school you could invite to tea before he starts there? are there any positives from hi point of view??

i wouldnt go into the dad bit of it at all with him. that is for the adults to sort out. does his dad agree re move of schools? does he have parental responsibility? if so you should be discussing with him....

I'm not sure I follow completely? The two schools which are oversubscribed are presumably schools which go up to Yr6. When you say they are severely over-subscribed do you mean that is the situation now or likely to remain so for evermore? Could you go on the waiting list? Or have you been told that you are likely never to get a place? Presumably your son is now in either reception/Yr1 so there is some time before he has to move?