22mo having major separation anxiety - how can I help him?

[Maveta]

We went away for a long weekend the week before last. The second day he got a v&d bug and was sick until about friday just past (8 days). I took the week off work and stayed with him. We are also in the middle of packing up the house for our move on friday so there is disorder and boxes everywhere, dh and I are preoccupied/ distracted and a bit stressy with each other.

Yesterday was his first day back at nursery after his week off and he was inconsolable/hysterical. When I got in from work last night he was really clingy and demanding/ rejecting (confused). He often comes into bed with us and last night was the same and he woke up several times actually screaming 'MAMA, MAMA, MAMA'. This morning when he clicked I was getting ready to leave he became hysterical again and dh said he was the same when he left him at nursery. Even the nursery worker commented on how strange/ strong his reaction was.

I can totally understand WHY he feels like this with all the inconsistency/ upheaval around him but I hate seeing him like this, is there anything I should be doing??? Also, it's not so unusual for him to have a slightly disrupted routine, at xmas for example he was off two weeks. He was a bit weepy the first couple of days back (at drop off time only) but nothing like this. Any advice or help? Please!

Hey Maveta what did you do last time when he was off? What was he like when you took him back to nursery?

You could take him out to the shops,park etc.. so that he can meet new people. Take him to a mother and baby club at some point and get him to play with the children there, while he can still see you chatting to other mums.

when you drop him off at nursery, do you just leave or stay and hug him etc...give him lots of kisses when hes crying?

I remember a little boy used to be like this at my old nursery and he would scream all day. After s while he got really clingy to me and would just sit on my lap really quietly. I started babysitting him as his mum seemed comfortable with the fact he clinged to me. But...Funnily after that, after hed someone quite unfamiliar in his home, doing the things his mum would normally do, the next day at nursery he was like a different child.

Hi, thanks for replying.. Dh does the drop off, he doesn´t linger. he kisses and hugs but then the nursery worker takes him and he hugs her. Apparently he is perfectly happy once we are gone.

We´ve just decided to put everything else aside for a few days and just be with him (vs being with him AND tidying/ doing the laundry/ cooking dinner/ etc/ etc) and give him lots of reassurance.

So horrible to think of him feeling so upset though, hope this phase passes quickly!

Yeah I hope so for you too. If hes fine once you have gone, the clingyness could be due to the fact he had you at home for a little while. If you have faith in the nursery nurses then I recon you need to 'spy' on him one day to see what hes really like at nursery and maybe it will put your mid at ease.

The phase will pass as it is a learning curve for a baby/young child. Its meant to rig thier mind into being more independent.

Good luck and if it doesnt change, Im here.