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Original poster

15 month old, turned toddler overnight. Tips for how to deal with the inevitable tantrums please!!!??

25 replies

Sheeta · 16/03/2009 20:45

DS is just 15 months old. Last Friday night he was lovely, happy and compliant, and literally over the weekend he turned defiant, stroppy and started asserting himself. He's funny with it, and I can distract him at the moment but he's such a strong willed little boy that I know there are difficult times ahead.

He's still completely gorgeous of course (most of the time) but would like some tips on how to start with discipline. Obviously he's a bit too young to understand consequences etc at the moment, and tbh it's more about getting myself into certain habits so I'm prepared for the full on rigid screaming fit in Tesco/Sainsbo's etc.

Not expecting him to reign in his behaviour or anything, it's more about how I should deal with it.

All and any suggestions/tips please post.

Many thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
rubyslippers · 16/03/2009 20:46

ignore and ...

practise the low steady voice saying "no we don't bite/hit/strop"

shop online

ilikeyoursleeves · 16/03/2009 20:47

I'm watching this with interest- my 16 month DS is the same! Lovely chilled out boy most of the time but we are now getting back arching hissy fits and pointing at everything cos he wants it all now!

whomovedmychocolate · 16/03/2009 20:47

get yourself the mumsnet toddler book

Seriously, ignore all bad behaviour, praise and pay attention only to behaviour you'd like to see again.

However if it's overnight he may just be sick/teething. The littlesoditis normally strikes gradually IME

BarbaraWoodlouse · 16/03/2009 20:51

Distraction often works well IMO.

If you are alone (or have a high embarrassment threshold) then ignoring the tantrum and enthusiastically singing to yourself whilst clapping along can sometimes pull them out of it - in a "what the hell is Mummy doing" type way admittedly.

puffylovett · 16/03/2009 20:51

ooh, distraction distraction distraction ! and also, no mixed messages... ie letting them have something they want and then taking it off them a few mins later when you decide it's not suitable. Also, learning to read their mood so that you can see a situation off before it becomes a problem / tantrum.

TBH I was worried how I would cope, but DS isn't really a problem - rarely has tantrums, if he does it's because I've not got in there early enough or given him enough warning - but if the situation does degenerate then the usual firm voice, pick em up, remove from situation, quick sharp explanation of why and then bright voice move onto the next fun subject...
HTH !!

Caz10 · 16/03/2009 20:51

Oh my goodness, i saw your thread title and actually had a senior moment, thinking did I start a thread and can't remember?!!

Was it this weekend Sheeta? Something in the air!! DD was lovely round about last Thurs, by Sunday we had a full on toddler on our hands! (she is 15mths too!)

I started this thread because all the advice i have read is re reasoning with them etc, and at 15mths I don't see how that can work?

Oh well, it has been nice up until now....sigh....

MarlaSinger · 16/03/2009 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caz10 · 16/03/2009 20:53

oh yes, the back arching....Friday, into car seat no problem, Sunday, trying to fold a rigid screaming little person in half...

giddykipper · 16/03/2009 20:53

The approach that works best for me it to just ignore the bad behaviour. Last night for example he was throwing himself around while I was trying to get his pyjamas on. I just walked away from him with his PJs half on - he came over to me to try and get me to interact with him, I just said "I'm not going to do X until you put your pyjamas on". Within 2 minutes he came over to ask me to help him put them on him. Cue lots of praise and attention at this point. DS went through a phase of throwing things when he didn't get his own way. I would just take the offending items off him until eventually he got bored and grew out of it.

Caz10 · 16/03/2009 20:54

marla i have also noticed a huge increase in "nice" stuff at the same time - lots more "words", she's been playing with her little toys making them kiss each other etc, also nice hugs and kisses for me and DH - she seems to me almost like a hormonal teenager who is struggling to cope with all the change she is going through!

Caz10 · 16/03/2009 20:56

how old is your LO giddykipper? I can't imagine dd understanding that, she would just roll around half dressed till i went back to her, lol!

EyeballsintheSky · 16/03/2009 20:56

Oh God...I think my 14 month old DD is going for the youngest demon award... I know it's going to be hellish, she's just like me

Caz10 · 16/03/2009 21:00

yes eyeballs, my mum keeps muttering things like "oh just you wait and see" when I say what dd has been up to. My mum also said I was a lovely baby until I learned to talk!

MarlaSinger · 16/03/2009 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giddykipper · 16/03/2009 21:05

He's 22 months now so a bit older I agree!

Caz10 · 16/03/2009 21:10

it's ba baaaaaaa for bye bye in our house!

and dad is baba

and bath is baaaaaaaaaaaaaffff

subtle differences!!

Caz10 · 16/03/2009 22:46

sorry sheeta, i hope i haven't killed your thread

Original poster
Sheeta · 17/03/2009 09:13

Brilliant - bumping this for the daytime crowd

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheeta · 17/03/2009 19:30

Caz, it certainly appears that one of us killed this thread

What date was your DD born, my DS was 30 Nov. He's been doing the rigid beding backwards thing today, loads of fun!

He really is a lovely boy though, very happy and good natured (90% of the time) but he's ovbv got my stubborn streak

OP posts:
Caz10 · 17/03/2009 21:13

We are 9th dec so very close.

Stubborn - oh yes! And very very independent - insisting on feeding herself with cutlery these days which is both lethal and messy - but any attempt to help and we get told right off! I'm just hoping if they've started this early they might finish early?!

emma1977 · 17/03/2009 21:53

Count me in too with the 15mo (Dec 13th) demon child.

Back-arching and screaming whenever has to go in the carseat. Getting to and from nursery is tiresome.

Constant pointing and whining until gets what he wants (usually a packet of quavers).

Caz10 · 17/03/2009 22:01

Lots of pointing and whining/screeching here too. Are they all the same starsign, was there something in the air?!

Original poster
Sheeta · 17/03/2009 23:44

Ah... are they all little saggitarians? stroppy little starsign i've heard

constant pointing here. seems ok as long as I notice it... give it a couple of weeks and he'll be screeching blue murder, i'm sure...

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheeta · 17/03/2009 23:45

caz - don't know if you want to, but email is kekouan @ hotmail . com

OP posts:
Caz10 · 21/03/2009 22:09

Hi sheeta sorry I wasn't ignoring you, i'm just a bit useless at checking mumsnet - also bad at checking email!! - but would love to continue chatting on here! How is your wee one today? We have actually had a tantrum free day today - it's been lovely, she has been v chatty and responsive - will it last?!!

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