I have posted before about DS1?s lack of ability to amuse or entertain himself. Recently things have got better and worse! If I am strong and pretty strict I can get him to play by or amuse by himself for say 20 or 30 minutes but he has really started to crank up the emotional pressure. I realise it?s a combination of his behaviour and my lack of ability to deal with it but I am really struggling to cope. He constantly wines about when I am going to play with him, how I haven?t played with him at all today etc (which I NEVER true). Take today for example. This morning I had to go into town and run a few errands (after an hour of playing) so I made it as much fun as possible and it was ok and he was really good, we came home and DH played in the garden with DS1 with DS2 (15mth) pottering about in the background. After lunch DS2 went to bed and DH and I wanted to talk about the garden etc so told DS1 to have a play for 30 mins but he just hovered over us, lolled on me and generally was a pain. I then played in the garden until DS1 woke up and I took them both for a hike exploring. All the while we are out he is grilling me on what we are going to play when we get home, as we neared home he said ?I know, lets race; if I am first home you will play with me? ! Even though I had about 45 mins of non child based activity today DS is adamant that I haven?t played with him. The fact that to stop the whining I have to involve him in everything I do obviously doesn?t count in his book.
The other day he was watching telly and after seeing an advert he piped up ?playing together it what makes life fun Mummy, so that is why you have to play with me, because that otherwise it won?t be fun? I just can?t cope with the constant emotional button pushing, he makes me feel that in order to be a good mum I have to play with him 24/7.
When we go out with friends and family he happily plays with the other children and that is my relief so I back right off and only get involved if needs be (I don?t ignore him though!) but I am so aware that other parents remain involved and still get involved in the play and I am sure they are thinking what a c*ap mum I am for backing off but their kids amuse themselves at home to they get pleasure out of being involved when they want to be unlike me who if forced into it.
Sorry this is long and rambling (it's been a long day) but I really don?t know how to turn his behaviour around and am at my wits end.