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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

settling my 8 week old...

13 replies

inlikeflynn · 16/03/2009 09:39

How can I get my 8 week old DS to settle on his own?

At the minute he falls asleep either on the boob or being rocked with white noise on in the background....when will he grow out of this? He is quite an upset baby, a bit colic-y.

We have his cot attached to the side of our bed but if I put him down in the cot he just cries till I bring him over into ours. I know this solves the problem short term but am I creating a rod for my back? How and when can I break this habit?

My first DC was bottle-fed on a 4 hourly basis and was sleeping through by 6 weeks, so my lovely bf on demand baby has been a bit of a shock all round!

Thanks in advance!

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MrsMattie · 16/03/2009 09:42

I don't think you are creating a rod for your own back, no. It's probably more helpful to see it as doing what is necessary to get your baby to sleep while he is very young. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding a small baby to sleep. That is what nature intended! I can't advise on the co-sleeping thing, as I never did it, but honestly, for the first 6 months or so I seriously abide by the 'by any means necessary' rule when it comes to sleep, especially if you have an older child.

smee · 16/03/2009 09:46

Must have been a shock if your first was such a good sleeper. I know lots of people say it's worse that way round. But if he's colic filled, he's distressed, so I'd agree with MrsM, just go with what works for him and try to get him calmer. Once he's got past the colic he'll settle. It's far far harder on you, but if you keep trying to make him do something that makes him upset, it'll only make things worse imo. Wit until he's happier, then try again.

AddictedtoCrunchies · 16/03/2009 09:59

My little boy had colic and I rocked him to sleep until he was about 6 months (and he got too heavy). I then started just putting him into his cot in a sleep sack and leaving him to settle by himself. He grizzled for a bit for a couple of nights and now he goes off like a dream and sleeps all night.

I was worried that, by rocking him, I would create problems but it was fine.

Just do what you think is right and necessary to make him happy and comfortable.

Original poster

inlikeflynn · 16/03/2009 10:02

Thank you.

Yes, sometimes I think its probably harder on DH as finds it a wee bit difficult sharing the bed, ie, he usually ends up in the spare room as DS2 lords it up in our bed. How can someone so wee take up so much room..? (With our first DH did the night feeds and was great at getting him back to sleep and felt he played a big part in getting DS to sleep all night from so early on).

Also the co-sleeping is great as I feel we are all getting (nearly) a full nights sleep...I just worry about the future!

I am starting to really enjoy breastfeeding - I plan to carry on for as long as possible - but do sometimes wonder if bottle feeding is just a wee bit easier...

OP posts:

smee · 16/03/2009 10:05

meant to say, my son was really stressed with colic until about 12 weeks and lots of people say that's when it calms. I slept with him on me, as that was the only way he was calm. I hated it mostly as I got so little sleep, but it did work for him, so I still think it was the only thing to do. Magically at 12 weeks he didn't mind going into his crib. He still had sleep problems, but at least he wasn't on me..

Original poster

inlikeflynn · 16/03/2009 10:09

smee...y'know I cant wait till the magic 12 week mark!
I cant remember with my first but everyone keeps telling me about it. I wonder why then, is it anything to do with their size? Like once you've put on enough weight everything seems to settle a bit?

OP posts:

smee · 16/03/2009 10:13

I'm not sure why, I just remember being amazed when I put DS into his crib and he didn't yell. Beware though, as I know some people have pinned their sanity on the 12 week mark and then had another month of it. All I can say is that it will pass. Very very hard on you, but they do grow out of it.

Original poster

inlikeflynn · 16/03/2009 10:23

Oh I know, he can be a cranky old blurt...so it is difficult to imagine him being like anything other than how he is now!

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digitalgirl · 16/03/2009 10:23

I've no experience with colic, but we were co-sleeping till DS was about 10 weeks. It got to the point where he wasn't really sleeping at night anymore, just continuously sucking on me (and would not take a dummy). We bought a bedside cot (is this what you have? to ease the transition from co-sleeping, I would half lie in the cot with him and allow him to feed lying down. Eventually we realised he preferred sleeping on his tummy and we gave in. He would still only sleep 2-3 hour stretches at a time, but it was better than the 20 minutes on his back.

We did everything necessary to get DS to sleep, rocked him, sat on the fitball and bounced him, walked up and down the stairs, DH worked out that switching the kettle on sent him to sleep (a trick we still use now), turning the shower on, singing lullabies and of course feeding to sleep (by far the quickest way - the other tricks were only used if he was still awake after a feed).

He's 6.5 months now and had learnt to self settle since he was 4 months - not every time but occasionally. Last night I fed him to sleep at bedtime and he woke twice and self-settled. So as far as I can tell it doesn't really matter what you do in the early days eventually they learn. Just do what's easiest for you now and once the colic has passed he may surprise you. HTH

MrsMattie · 16/03/2009 10:23

Beware of the 'magic age' nonsense. I waited for 12 wks, 16 wks, 6 mths...waited until 2.5 yrs old, in fact, (!) with my DS before he settled down properly at night.

smee · 16/03/2009 10:50

Well yes, me too MrsM, but at least he didn't have colic at 2.5 and was in his own bed . The colic's the grimest part of it as the constant crying and distress is so gut wrenching, so you'll find it far, far easier once that's passed. Me and MrsMattie are at the unlucky end of the scale I'd say - your lo might well be different and settle easily once his tummy's sorted. Really hope so x

Original poster

inlikeflynn · 16/03/2009 10:50

2.5 years!

boke.

It is really reassuring to hear other experiences though and know that its not just me.

IMO there are so many expectations of how things should be with everything else, its no wonder people want to think there are 'rules' to parenting. That's maybe why it feels quite difficult because nothing is a definite.

OP posts:

smee · 16/03/2009 11:07

Not at all helpful this, but tales like yours actually cheer me up - it's honestly not me being mean, it's only that as it happened with my first, I really thought it was all my fault. If it can happen to someone on their second though, if kind of proves it's just who the baby is rather than what you do. Not saying you can't make things better or worse, but still. Really hope he's easier soon though. I do so remember those days..

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