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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

WHY the hell will my child not go to bed?

22 replies

Nabster · 14/03/2009 19:18

He is 3.9.

Tired.

I have had enough of this.

I have hurt my back lifting him and can hardly breathe.

He just gets out of bed, has a million delaying tactics. Do I just give in to all of them and watch the list grow each night.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tortington · 14/03/2009 19:20

put in bed leave

wait - on a stool - with a brew and a book

he come out
put in bed leave

put in bed leave

etc.

do it for a couple of nights - be consistant. say 'no' and otherwise don't communicate at all

nickytwotimes · 14/03/2009 19:21

Ooh, tricky.

Have you a gate on his room?

(Not sure if this would just result in a trashed room...)

nickytwotimes · 14/03/2009 19:23

Um, yep, I think Custy's idea is potentially better than my prison-based parenting method!

Pawslikepaddington · 14/03/2009 19:23

I used to hold to door shut if she tried to come out as I got so sick of her getting out of bed . I used to sit on the floor in the doorway reading a book, with the landing light on. If she stayed in bed I stayed where I was, if she got out of bed I went on to the landing and held the door shut for 5 mins. That way, she learnt that if she stayed in bed the door stayed open. I think she grew out of it in the end as opposed to me remedying it though

verylapsedrunner · 14/03/2009 19:23

......just a suggestion but DS was still in a cot (albeit cotbed size) at that age. We did the cot for als long as possible !

Pawslikepaddington · 14/03/2009 19:24

It was advice given in a book-not me being a horrid parent!

Doozle · 14/03/2009 19:24

Is he tired enough to sleep at this time? Has he had a nap at all during the day?

Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 19:30

He fell out of his cot so that went.

This is well past his bed time.

Normally DH deals with him but he was annoyed with me as I wanted to ive him a cuddle.

i kept lifting him and back to bed the other day and my back still hurts.

He is sat in the lounge atm as he clearly doesn't want to go to bed. I have had my dinner and now I will try again.

OP posts:

Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 19:32

4 times in that time and now DH is on door duty.

OP posts:

verylapsedrunner · 14/03/2009 19:34

..tis just a phase.....easy to say with hindsight...

Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 19:38

He is now banging on the door or throwing things at it.

He used to be so easy to put down at night.

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Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 19:42

He is down.

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Pawslikepaddington · 14/03/2009 19:43

The door thing does work nabs, I promise (well, relieves irritation as you can close the door on them instead of trying not to look at them when putting them back down for the 36th time).

Tortington · 14/03/2009 19:45

oh well - same tomorrow night then

Ceolas · 14/03/2009 19:47

Do you have to lift him at 3.9?

Constant putting back is the only way. It is so wearing but you mustn't back down if you want to crack it!

Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 20:43

He got up again and now I am expecting him to be asleep on the landing.

If I didn't life him back on to bed he wouldn't climb up himself, reckons he can't

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Ceolas · 14/03/2009 20:52

You need to practice during the day

Good luck, it's dreadful when they resist bed.

Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 20:54

He so can get into bed, just doesn't want too.

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bodiddly · 14/03/2009 20:55

have you tried either threatening him with putting him back into a cot like a baby rather than his big boy bed ... or perhaps a sticker chart with the promise of some treat/present that he really wants at the end of the week?

Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 20:56

Tried the sticker thing. Didn't even get one on.

The cot is a no go as he will climb out.

OP posts:

Doozle · 14/03/2009 21:01

We found saying that DD didn't have to go to sleep but she did need to stay in bed/room and look at her books/toys worked really well.

We leave the light on low and then turn it off later once she's asleep.

Original poster

Nabster · 14/03/2009 21:02

I would rather not start something different tbh. He has plenty of time to read. He has started playing up and I guess it is a habit now.

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