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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is refusing to dress up (ie for comic relief/world book day) a sign to be worried about a 3 year old?

26 replies

tiredandwornoutmum · 13/03/2009 13:07

Ds has a few problems and is being assessed for his behaviour with the ed psyh at nursery (FS1). However, today he refused to dress up for comic relief so i sent him in in his uniform as usual (although he did want to take his red nose in). Anyway, that was that, but then when I picked him up the staff seemed to be making a big deal over the fact that, like world book day, he didn't want to dress up. (for world book day we made an elmer costume together which we took to school, but he absolutely would not wear it)

Is this a developmental problem.. or do some children just not like to dress up?

OP posts:

controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 13/03/2009 13:09

i think they are stupid wrong to make any sort of deal about it. why should he dress up / be the same as everyone else if he doesnt want to?? fgs.

Hulababy · 13/03/2009 13:11

Some children just don't like dress up. The nursery were wrong to make a deal out of it.

Some of the children at the infant school i work at chose not to dress up today. It wasn't an issue.

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 13/03/2009 13:13

my dd hates dressing up, no behavioural issues or anything, just doesn't want to.

Niecie · 13/03/2009 13:14

My children have never enjoyed dressing up much.

Partly, for DS2 it is because he doesn't like being the centre of attention and being made a fuss of, which he felt like when dressed up, even if everybody else was. He was definitely like it at 3 but at 5.6 he has loosened up a bit and agrees to dress up.

DS1 would dress up but only because I didn't give him an option - not that I forced him but that I didn't give him anything else to wear. He never went looking for it though.

It is a shame that your DS's nursery should make a big deal of it. Oh well, never mind would have sufficed. I wonder if, left to his own devices and without a big fuss, he might even have agreed to dress up a bit later on.

stealthsquiggle · 13/03/2009 13:14

if it is a developmental problem then it is a very common one!

DD (2.6) refused to wear her 'costume' for nativity and was only with great difficulty persuaded to wear pyjamas to nursery today. She was by no means the only one and the nursery staff were very pragmatic about it both times.

Some children like dressing up. Others don't.

If he is being assessed anyway then the Ed Psych may chuck it into the mix with other observations but I would certainly not have said it was any big deal in itself.

AMumInScotland · 13/03/2009 13:14

DS generally didn't want to dress up for these things, and has no behavioural problems. Some children just don't want to - and like others, I think the nursery shouldn't be making a big deal about it. OTOH if he has other behavioural issues, then the Ed Psych will probably take everything into account to see if it fits together into a specific pattern, which might include this - eg not liking change to routines is part of some patterns of behaviour. But not just by itself IYSWIM?

Original poster

tiredandwornoutmum · 13/03/2009 13:15

Well, thats what I thought too. Really ds just does not like any changes and thats why he didn't want to wear anything else I think.

OP posts:

cece · 13/03/2009 13:15

My DS is not keen on dressing up.

He is in reception and for WBD I could only get him to wear 'normal' weekend type clothes, not an 'outfit' like the rest of his class.

Today he has gone into school wearing a red t-shirt and jeans. I did try to spike his hair up but he freaked about it and flattened all down before we left the house! When we got there loads of the class were in more fancy dress type red outfits.

Some kids just don't like to dress up I guess! (On the other hand DD loves a dressing up day!)

Icanseethesea · 13/03/2009 13:16

Some children just don't like dressing up, and making on issue of it just makes them more determined not to! My DD (11) has always disliked it - for World Boook Day she went as Becky Morley in Out of the Ashes - jeans and a hoodie! She has always been like this - I don't think you need to worry unduly.

RubyRioja · 13/03/2009 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

solidgoldbrass · 13/03/2009 13:21

I think it shows independence of mind and a disinclination to conform along with all the other morons. Why on earth should dressing up be compulsory? Your poor DS - watch out or they will be giving him drugs and behavioural therapy to crush any individuality out of him as soon as possible.

snickersnack · 13/03/2009 13:21

dd (4) won't dress up, at home or at school. Hates it. I am pretty sure she's got no underlying issues - like her mother, she just finds the whole idea of fancy dress disturbing!

TheEarthIsFlat · 13/03/2009 13:22

My ds used to hate dressing up when he was that age & even now we treat 'wear a costume' days at school as 'go in a pair of jeans'. Even when he's tried wearing a costume it normally comes off after about 5 minutes. He finds fancy dress clothes a bit uncomfortable, especially if they've got velcro. I managed to get him to wear a costume for a party once & he got so upset on the way in that we had to come home, so definitely not a good idea. Similar to your son, he took a red nose in today, in his bag.

ScummyMummy · 13/03/2009 13:24

No.

School uniform for a 3 year old is seriously weird though!

PrimulaVeris · 13/03/2009 13:31

My ds (9) hates dressing up. For the last 2 World Book Day parades he has told teachers he left his costume at home

As I discovered when I saw the photos of the parade in the classroom

Perfectly normal for a 3yo to refuse .. I was a bit at a 3yo in uniform too!

piscesmoon · 13/03/2009 13:39

I would think it perfectly normal. I hate 3 yr olds in uniform though.

FrogfishPsychedelica · 13/03/2009 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JackBauer · 13/03/2009 13:49

DD1 is 3 and hates dressing up, she will happily play pretehnd but won't wear outfits.
She does wear a uniform though, why si that weird? She is at a nursery that is part of a school so has the same uniform as the school, although it isn't compulsory so when I don't have clean she can go in whatever.

seeker · 13/03/2009 13:53

My ds never wanted to dress up - hated it in fact. Until this year - he's 8 and has gone to school with shocking pink hair.

Absolutely NOTHING to worry about!

But what on earth are they doing putting school uniform on a 3 year old?

JackBauer · 13/03/2009 14:52

DD1 likes her uniform as she is next door to reception and Year 1 in her nursery and they do assembly a a school so they feel included. But they all just wear the sweatshirts and then trackies or whatever underneath.
Plus it means that her navy school sweatshirt is the only thing covered in paint so I don't have to worry abotu staining her clothes.

Is it really that weird though?

Fennel · 13/03/2009 14:56

My older two had uniform at 3 in their school nursery. Actually they tended not to wear it, but most of the others did. It's no weirder than school uniform for any other age. Uniform is weird, people are just used to it on older children.

on the thread topic, my 7yo had a huge tantrum this morning about dressing up for comic relief. She wouldn't wear just any old costume or fancy dress, it had to be pyjamas, but the right sort, which she didn't have. She almost refused to go to school at all. And she definitely hasn't got developmental problems. She just has strong opinions. And shares them loudly.

sallyh2000 · 24/03/2009 22:16

My son is 4 and at nursery he does not dress up at home or school either and is the only one in his class who does not participate.
He has always wore a uniform, and so do his classmates even though it is not compulsary. It is a school sweatshirt and black trousers, whats wrong with that, if it saves his own clothes from getting ruined?

Flibbertyjibbet · 24/03/2009 22:31

My ds1 is 4 and would not have dressed up. He just likes to wear what he thinks he should wear and if I try to get him in anything that he doesn't like or that he hasn't picked out of his drawer himself on the day in question... well he will NOT wear it.
We are going to a fancy dress pirate party next week, ds2 will happily put the full outfit on, ds1 will probably end up with just holding the cutlass.

kw13 · 25/03/2009 18:04

Definitely not an issue and sounds entirely normal. How many adults do you know who like dressing up - some do, some don't. No reason why a small child should be any different. He has my utmost sympathy. My DS completely refuses to dress up for red nose day or any other occasion. He will wear a hat occassionally but that is most definitely it. I saw him looking at some little girls in fairy costumes the other day and he clearly thought they were completely mad!

S22 · 01/11/2024 04:43

My 3 year old is the same, on Halloween he was so upset to wear an outfit to nursery but happy to wear it to go trick or treat ! I tried bribery l, rewarding but it’s like he just coudnt, help I’m worrying thinking something underlying as he doesn’t like dancing Also he cries when they play dancing at nursery too

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