How did / do you teach p's & q's?

[ijustwant8hours]

DS is 2.4. So far I have been demonstrating please and thankyou, using them a lot myself and telling him / showing him where he should use them. He probably says thankyou a bit less than 50% of the time and please about 25%, with usage of both increasing.

We still get a fair amount of "get more xx NOW" though.

I'm currently on maternity leave, we have a nanny 2 days a week (I am lucky I know), and a few times i have been caught in the middle of her not giving DS something unless he says please (his response is to come and ask me, I back her up btw). I've never really fancied this approach, especially not now when he is getting used to his new sister.

So how do / did you do it?

A gentle reminder seems to be working for DD. She uses please and thank you a lot of the time, and if does not say it, I just say something online the lines of 'yes what?' or 'what do you say?' or simply 'yes please' and she copies it.

Sometimes she says 'i want x now' and I say one of the above and she rephrases it, then gets what she asks for, if I was going to give it to her anyway. Please does not necessarily get her what she wants, although she does do the whole 'pleeeeeeeeeeeeease mama?'

i wouldnt give a 2.4 year old something if they didnt say please, and nor will i let go of it until they say thank you.

it doesnt take very long for them to learn

now my current charges are 3 and 6 and i dont even respond at all unless i am asked nicely. it takes them about 10 seconds to say "please can i have a drink" if "i want a drink" is ignored.

my boys have lovely manners

sometimes i respond to "i want X" with yes, "I want Y" maybe a new car or something else i would like but am not likely to get!

boy just turned 3. he sometimes asks with a please,ditto thanks. Sometimes needs a prompt - now simple p or t( puh or tuh ) serves as a prompt. He is VERY good at thanking bus drivers, a nice loud "Fank ou ver much bus man" He likes busses and we use them regualry.

I say 'what do you say?' and find DS 2.5 says please and thank you happily in order to then be quickly given what he wants. If he says it without being asked I make a big fuss of him. try to set an example myself. I agree with others that say repetition, repetition, repetition, like anything (not hitting other kids, stopping at a kerb etc).

A great tip which I heard a mum doing on a plane and copied, was if he asks for something in a whingey voice, I say 'I can only understand when you ask in a nice voice', and then do it myself, saying very happily and pleasantly, 'can I have an xyz please, mummy?' this works an absolute treat, as DS does it and it's a kind of joke between us as well. Otherwise it drives me mad when he whines for something, and this way he makes the effort to sound pleasant and it's fun for both of us because he understands what's going on, that people do things for you more willingly if you ask nicely!

DD is 2.3 and this goes for her and all her friends when i interact with them....

I ask a question (e.g. would you like a drink) followed by 'yes please or no thank you?' at the end of the question. That way, they know that the words come together and learn them by association.

When I hand something over, if there's no thank you, I remind them that they must say thank you and over time they remember to say it more.

If they demand something without the 'magic word', I ask that they ask me nicely and I tell them how they should ask. e.g. DD will say 'mummy I want x,y,z' so I will say 'please mummy can I have x,y or z' and I find she repeats that and over time the questioning technique gets more civilised.