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leaving the house in the morning with tantruming 2 year old

7 replies

2toddlersandme · 12/03/2009 15:26

As I was struggling to get a screaming ds (aged 2 1/2) into the car this morning in full view of my whole street and trying not to a) swear and b) cry I thought to myself that I definitely need some advice...

Ds has started not wanting to leave the house in the morning. 3 days a week he goes to nursery and it doesn't seem to be nursery that's the problem because when we actually get there he will trot happily out of the car (with me adding additional bits of clothing he refused to put on at home). And he's always very happy there and happy to be left etc.

But he has started refusing to get dressed, brush teeth, get into the car, get into his car seat etc....Yesterday thinking I was being really clever I put him to bed in jogsuit bottoms so I could take him straight to nursery if he refused to get dressed. And I was right - he did. But then he also added a new element of resistance & had to be carried screaming to the car and forced into his car seat - he is actually now too strong for me to pin him down, but after an almighty struggle which left me feeling awful he calmed down a bit and allowed me to strap him in. He also has a twin sister who fortunately is having a calm(er) phase at the moment. But she started being funny about getting dressed this morning and I don't know if that's because she is copying him (please no...!). I think the issue is one of him feeling out of control and I do try and give him choices/say 'you get into the car yourself' etc but it isn't really working.

Help please before I get an ASBO for noise pollution....

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ElenorRigby · 12/03/2009 15:31

No advice just sympathy. DD 18 months is just starting to become really awkward in the morning. It no doubt will get a lot worse before it gets better.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 12/03/2009 15:33

I cna hugely sympathise. DD still causing problems some days even now she is 3. WE did resort to pyjamas once, and took her clothes into nursery.

ijustwant8hours · 12/03/2009 15:43

How long has it been going on for? DS (2.4)went for about three weeks not wanting to get dressed etc then one day just said "clothes on now" on has been fine since.

I think a predictable routine around it all helped, but mainly i think it was a phase he got over...

2toddlersandme · 12/03/2009 16:04

Many thanks for the sympathy and reassuring me I'm not alone .

Just started this week. (And actually it is extending to refusing to put pyjamas on at night - in fact last night I had to let him go to sleep in just a nappy and creep in and dress him when he was asleep)..........please let it be a phase...

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ijustwant8hours · 12/03/2009 16:13

We had the pyjama refusal at the same time as morning problems as well..

Offering a choice (eg green or blue top) sometimes helped. Also when in a hurry saying something like, lets get these on quick quick quick in a really animated cbeebies presenter type fashion and getting it done really fast with a running uptempo commentary. In the morning if we have time I've been encouraging him to undress / dress himself a bit more.

But in the end it is probably a phase that he will get over whatever you do!

goodluck

FiveGoMadInDorset · 12/03/2009 16:27

Sounds just like DD, Is there something that he likes doing morning and night that you can withdraw? we have found that Syaing that she can't watch her favourite DVD unless she gets into her pj's/clothes has helped. Also helped to give her a choice of clothes so now she picks them herself (leads to interesting outfits) and so less tantrums.

And IMO it is a phase.

2toddlersandme · 13/03/2009 09:50

Thanks everyone.

Having a horrible day today. Neither of them would get dressed but as I'm at home with them I decided to just let them stay in the nursery until they would get dressed. 2 hours later I'm at a complete impasse. They've been in tears. I've been in tears. I've tried bribery (DVDs, books, cake, going to the playground), reasoning, letting them choose their clothes, letting them try and get dressed themselves. I am at a complete dead end and just feeling like a crap mother ...giving us all some time out at the moment. Have separated them and put my dd in our bed as she seems tired. I'll go and see what ds agrees to do. They've both got colds and our house isn't very warm even with all the heating on and wearing a full compliment of clothing.

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