Is it normal to have an everchanging nap/sleep schedule at 13mo? And other questions.

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My DD has rarely stuck to the same waking/falling asleep/napping schedule for longer than a few weeks.
I often blamed it on her upset tummy (wind, tummy bugs and/or food reactions) which were making her sleep disrupted and therefore all the schedules broken.
And she still keeps breaking all the schedules although there will be no acute signs of upset stomach to blame it on.
One day she will wake up at 6AM, another day she will wake up at half past 7AM or later, one day she will have one daytime nap and go to bed at 6-7-8PM, next day she will have two and will go to bed at 10-11PM or even later, one day she will sleep just 2 hours or less during the day (one nap or two short ones), another day it will be 4 hours or even more (two longer naps).

Is it normal? And if so, is it likely to stay like that for much longer?

What are the possible reasons why she wakes up from her first daytime nap too early? I noticed that when she has a good long first nap she's much less likely to have a second nap. But when she just jumps up an hour or less after falling asleep and it's impossible to put her down again even with BF, there should be a reason for that, right? The obvious ones are teething and upset tummy. What else can it be?

And is looser poo a sign of upset tummy? Or can it be caused by teething or runny nose?

She seems to be fine (active and happy) both when she has a long night sleep on the days after having 1 daytime nap and when she has a short night sleep after napping twice on the day, but is either of these schedules more 'correct' and better for her?

I don't think there is a right or wrong but there is a pattern that most children fall into which is a good 2 hr nap after lunch ... maybe 1-3pm. Many children need a morning nap and afternoon nap when they're little but between 12-18 months the morning nap gets dropped.

So I would say that, if it works for you, you figure out a routine that you like and go with it every single day. So maybe:

7am - up
9-10am - nap (but phasing out)
12pm - lunch
1-3pm - nap
5pm - tea
6pm - bath
7pm - bed

This is just my opinion. If she has a massive morning nap, she won't be as keen to have a big afternoon nap as she won't be tired but then she'll be grouchy later in the afternoon. So start to shorten the morning nap and keep the after lunch nap. This is also fantastic time for you to put feet up/run around tidying up.

Loose poo can be due to anything ... I would only worry if she was obviously ill.

Hope this helps

Agree with Wishing Chair's above routine but would leave out the morning nap.

I would try and get her into the routine asap so tomorrow get her up at 7 or if she wakes earlier thats fine, then have lunch and put her down for her nap at 12.30 or 1pm - try and keep her awake until at least 12.30 - then down for her sleep - get her up at 3pm at the latest, then have a busy afternoon, eat supper and then bath at 6pm then quiet time (books/bottle/tv) until bed.

Good Luck

DS has been like this. He doesn't always sleep well due to teething or wind, so if he's had a bad night he will wake early and tired. On these days by the time he's dressed and had breakfast he is often visibly tired again and will go to bed for an hour or so. He then has an afternoon nap.

Only now at 19 months does he generally have a single lunchtime nap, but still reverts to a morning catnap if he's had a bad night. Which is fine, I think, because I know he needs it.

I know most kids have a single nap by his age but I am happy to go with what works for him - it's OK to do that if it suits you, you know

Thanks, wishingchair!
Unfortunately, she won't have a second nap so close to the first one. Even when her first nap is just half an hour long she won't fall asleep again sooner than in 4-5 hours. And most often she will stay awake for 3-4 hours before her first nap too. So, shortening her first nap doesn't give much a difference really, she will still go to bed at around 9pm as the earliest. It's when she has just 1 nap that makes a difference, but yes, she can be pretty tired towards the evening in this case.

And in general I'm afraid to play with her sleep times as she's always been so irregular that i just doubt it can get any more regular with my intervention.

Yes, Twims, I feel that her 'normal' schedule now is to have just one nap. But when this nap is too short, she just won't last long enough and will have a second nap anyway.
So, my major concern is to make her nap long anough (hence the questions about things that can cause it to terminate abruptly and too early).
Although sometimes her first nap will be pretty long but she still falls asleep in the early evening for a second nap. So, maybe I'm also doing something wrong here? What do I do to keep her awake till the evening - more/less activity, more/less food, etc? As sometimes when I expect her to only have 1 nap she suddenly goes all irritable during supper and then falls asleep at the breast for a second nap.

Hello my DS is in his 13th month and at the moment he is up at 6/6.30. Has a nap at 10am for 1- 1 1/2hours
Lunch 12/12.30 (depending on what time sibling finishes preschool)
Afternoon nap either 3-4 or 3.30-4.30.
Bath and bed 6.30-7pm

It does fluctuate every month or so and I see a time when he will drop his morning nap in favour of one just before or after (an early) lunch. Eventually leading to an afternoon nap which will stop about the age of 2 1/2 -3 ish!

My daughter (now four) followed a similar pattern and was ever changing up until 18 months when the length of nap became more routine but the timing got later and later as she was able to stay up longer.

Of course teething, colds and the like all affect how children sleep. Often the reason for the change does not become apparent until after the event (for example a tooth appears!)

If you DD is an only child and you are able to go with the fluctations, go with it. If she is happy and so forth.

I accepted this with my DD but of course now she has a sibling I cannot be quite so relaxed as I have to drop of/collect her 4 mornings each week ! He has to fit in a little to her routine and vice versa!
the only thing I am strict upon is that the children are in bed and asleep by 7.30pm. I keep meals time reasonably standard too (12-1 and 5-6). This may help with the tummy thing too. Also not a good idea to put a baby/toddler to bed after a really big meal. I know how that feels as an adult!!!!

Be pleased you have a child who naps etc. this is a much nicer option that than a child who does not as at least you can get other stuff done!

I hope that gives you a comparison.

Enjoy the naps as there will be a day when they stop!!!

Thanks for a detailed reply, dingledangle!
Yes, she is our only child for now and yes, i'm happy to go with whatever schedule she's up to.
It just doesn't feel quite right when she goes to bed at 7PM one day and at 11PM the next day.

isn't it a self-perpetuating cycle though? if she goes to bed late one night, she may sleep later the next day, not sleep much in the day and so have to go to bed early that night? My ds is 13 months, he has never slept that well in the day, he has 40 mins in the morning and 1.5 in the afternoon on a good day.
I think he is starting to not want one nap so i'm struggling. Anyway, my point is that he always goes to bed at 7pm, sometimes he's knackered at that time, other times he's nice and chilled and still wide awake, but (imho) because he always goes at 7pm he goes to sleep and wakes at roughly the same time the next morning.
i'm trying to go with the flow re: day time naps but maybe you could just structure the night time more?

it is a self-perpetuating cycle! But it works in a different way for us, as she wakes at 6-7 am regardless of whether she had a long or short day before that night.

If she goes to bed late she will be more likely to have her first nap earlier next day because of being more tired due to a shorter night time sleep, which in turn makes it more likely for her to have a second nap as she simply won't be able to stay awake for the rest of the day in one stretch, and that in turn inevitably takes her to going to bed late again!

On the other hand, if she goes to bed early, she's then more likely to stay awake longer before her first nap and thus increase chances of going to bed early again if only this nap is good and long enough because she won't then need another nap and will last just fine for the rest of the day.

So, it looks like the one nap pattern is the right one but it's so easily broken when her first daytime nap is interrupted for any reason. And it happens so often with us that I struggle to see any rational explanation and just don't know how to bring her back on track especialy because i don't want to mess with her sleep much, fearing to make it just worse.

The simple way would be to find the reason(s) of her premature nap wakings and eliminate/correct them but this simple and rational way doesn't seem to be applicable to babies' world.

its horrendous isn't it? today I tried to initiate a one-nap day. So, normally he goes at 9:30 ish although recently hes been dragging it out or not sleeping in the afternoon, so we kept him awake most morning, he had his lunch at 11:30 then i put im down at 12. He slept till 1:30 which was great, cause he doesnt normally sleep that long. So we had the whole afternoon (which was long) and most of the time he was great but by 4:30 i had to put him back in his cot, he didnt sleep though just sang and chatted to himself for 20 minutes. So got him up and gave him his tea, was wrecked by 6:30 but put him down at 7 as normal, anyway on the whole it worked well but rather than a normal "we know when i'm going to nap" it was a bit frayed because he got so tired, it must be quite common when transitioning from 2 to 1 nap surely.
I've just re-read your initial post, 4 hours is long - my ds has actually never slept that long in the day even as a newborn. Would it go against the grain to wake her up
if her total day time naps are greater than 2 hours? i only say this because my ds doesnt sleep longer than 2 hours now but still is consistent with her night time sleep.
You probably didn't want to hear all this but my point (again) is that I think 13 months IS a transitional age. Believe me sleep in the day is the one thing i've never really cracked in the 13 months i've been a mum.

also, (yes me again) it was more the norm for my ds to wake up after 40 minutes than him to go for longer - ever, so I wouldn't look for a reason for her waking ie teething etc.

surely varies from one chid to another? ds1 wouldn't have gone to sleep before midnight if he had 2 naps in a day at that age. ds2 is a bit older - if he has no nap - asleep by about 9pm, if he has a nap often still singing at 11. He's happy either way. Neither of mine need much sleep (less than dh, sadly), but lots of their friends sleep much more than them.

She's been on a 1-nap-a-day schedule, of her own accord, for 5 days or so, waking up at around 6:30AM, having a nap at around 11AM till around 2PM and going to bed at around 8PM, which was great! She was a bit tired in the evening, but not much at all.
And today she's asleep just two hours after waking up, so i think she's up to 2 naps again today. For no apparent reason (other than waking up at 5:45AM)...

carrotsandpeasifyouplease, it does vary from baby to baby. One baby I know has been hardly sleeping at all during the day since he was 3-4 months old, and another baby I know used to be sleeping for virtually half of the day when she was 9-10 months old. And I suspect both cases are normal though look pretty extreme.

I tried waking DD up just an hour or so after she falls asleep in the evening. She doesn't normally sleep 2 hours in a single stretch during the day, she will wake up 40 min - 1 hour after falling asleep for a BF. So I tried waking her up then. But it had horrible results every time (i tried twice and a couple of times she was unintentionally waken by someone else in the room)- she was surely unhappy to be waken up and stayed very grumpy and irritable for as long as two hours after that! So, I don't think it's the right thing to do, and it doesn't make things easier for either of us as she's so difficult to be with when she's that irritable.

And as I mentioned, DD doesn't sleep for several hours in a single stretch when she naps, she will wake up every 40-60 minutes, which is normal as she's going through her sleep cycles surfacing for a short time before going back to deeper sleep. It just doesn't feel right when she virtually jumps up from her sleep without that "drowsy and lazy stretching" waking up phase, is wide awake just a moment after being fully asleep and won't settle and fall asleep again.

Their sleep is such an easy thing to bring out of balance! So in general i'm trying not to meddle with it al all!

DS (also 13m) has nap times all over the place.
We have sort of settled into Either

shortish nap about 9:30-10:30am and another shortish-longer nap sometime later in the day.

OR long nap around 11:15-2:15.

I suggest that you focus on getting a consistent bedtime and not too much sleep in the day.
Good luck!