DD (2.5years) keeps asking if I am happy?

[Sweetie34]

Hi, Just looking for a little advice please.

I am 5 months pregnant with DC No.2. A few weeks ago DD and I were due to go out. I was a little stressed as we were late. The house was a nightmare and I was looking for something and getting madder by the minute. Not sure whether it was hormones or stress but I burst into tears. DD noticed and came to give me a hug. I cried on and off for about 30 mins - just couldn't stop!

Since then DD is always asking me (or Boyf or Gran) "are you happy Mummy?" It usually comes after she has been told off or if someone gets cross with her. sometimes it may bececause we are not smiling.

Its just the way she says it breaks my heart. Like she is worried that we are upset with her or sad?

She has always been a very happy little girl and still is - except for these episodes.

Am I being too sensitive? Is this normal? I'm just a little worried that this and a new baby in the family may cause long lasting problem.

If I am being silly feel free to say so too!!!

I think it is normal. She is learning that other people have feelings and that they may be different to her's. She is learning to read your face and your reactions which is good because it is important for her to be able to empathise.

I think my DS2 was similar - he used to express concern if I was upset or cross and try and give me a hug.

I personally wouldn't lie to her and would tell her in simple terms that you are unhappy because of X or Y and leave it at that. Tell her you love her and that it will be fine in a minute and give her a hug so she knows it isn't her fault.

She sounds a sweetheart by the way.

My dd went through a phase of this too. I think it's just their fledgling way of learning about other people's emotions.

Yes it's that sort of age when they start to understand you have emotions too! I'd be honest and say yes you were upset but it's only a little thing and you'll be fine in a minute - she is learning to connect up other people's emotions with their expression and behaviour, so it's better not to lie and say you're blissfully happy when you're not, as it will confuse her.

Dd went through a phase of this when she was 2-3. I had some very down spells and dd would 'Don't be sad mummy. I don't like my mummy be sad.' Made me feel like the world's most miserable parent!

She doesn't do it now (3.7) - or maybe I'm just more cheerful!

Yes my DS has just stopped this recently but went through a spell of asking me every few mintues. Drove me bonkers!

What made me titter reading the replies is that your little ones are asking between the ages of 2-3 whereas my DS was 3.5! Just goes to show blokes take longer to pick up on the ladies' feelings doesn't it

Thank you for your replies. I got a little teary readig them - so maybe it's still hormones!!

Glad it 'normal' and I haven't traumatised her for life!!!

Yes my DD 2.3 says things like "mummy be happy", other day she said "mummy you aren't really happy are you", although that was better than "mummy stop shouting at me" - when she refused to have her nappy changed I am nearly 39 weeks pregnant though but I felt so bad, I just raised my voice to say now honest...

My 22 month old does this. Usually it's 'mummy cross?' 'mummy sad?' or 'mummy broken?' Usually I'm none of these things. If I am upset for any reason I say yes a bit sad but I'll get better. She then kisses my head and says 'kiss all better'.

It's a good thing that she's empathetic. I hope.