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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

HELP! How much does your 4 YO sleep?

13 replies

womblingfree · 08/03/2009 07:56

DD is just 4.6, and her sleep is appalling - I'm sure it was better when she was a newborn.

She hasn't had daytime sleeps for about 18 months, and usually goes down OK at about 7.30/45pm, but...

...she can be up between 2 and 4 times a night, and is often awake for the day by 5.30am. We stopped letting her have her dummy at night after Christmas as she was waking when she lost it, but it seems worse than ever and I am knackered!

She's warm, has a night light, no siblings to disturb her. It's rarely bad dreams, she just wakes up and doesn't readily go back to sleep. Sometimes she comes in to us and nods off in our bed which was fine, but hubby and I aren't small and she's a pretty strapping 4YO so that's not really an option anymore although we didn't mind too much when she was smaller.

She's not tired the next day. I was similar myself so wonder if it's genetic. Am trying to teach her to read ASAP so she can amuse herself if she wakes up !

Has anyone else had a LO like this and found a solution?

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Original poster

womblingfree · 08/03/2009 08:27

Anyone???

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thirtypence · 08/03/2009 08:29

You have it spot on with the reading. Ds used to wake up mega early and once he could read he would just go for a quick wee and then snuggle down with a good book.

Now he's knackered from school and so only does the reading thing at the weekend.

Original poster

womblingfree · 08/03/2009 08:40

I can remember waking up most mornings at 4/4.30 and reading once I was old enough. DD loves books and is getting the hang of it even though she doesn't start school until September, so will keep plugging away with that then.

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Acinonyx · 08/03/2009 09:40

We had a 5.30 alarm call just this morning [yawn]. Can't believe it's only 9.30 now - must be mid afternoon surely...

Dd, 3.7, gets put to bed 8-8.30 and sleeps 8.30-9.30 with nightlight (no nap since about 2 yrs) then up hopefully 6.45-7.30. She's very frightened of the dark and howls for us on waking even if she has a nghtlight. She's very squirmy in our bed too so we're not wild about that option.

She loves her books and I really hope reading will help us all.

Until - would you prefer a later bedtime if she slept in? Worked for us.

Original poster

womblingfree · 08/03/2009 14:01

A later bedtime doesn't seem to make much difference to the time she wakes, just means she sometimes does nod off in the afternoon, which then means she's up til ridiculous hours in the evening - we'd be lucky to get her down by 10.30.

One evening recently, she went down at 7.30, nodded off for less than an hour, woke up and stayed awake until 2.45am!

TBH I'm not sure a later bedtime would work anyway. By about 4pm I'm counting the minutes til I can get some space and do something for myself. At least when she wakes early I can relocate to the sofa, stick on Cbeebies and doze!

It's more the up and down throughout the night that's a pain, but I guess we're going having to do the up and down like a yo-yo thing, putting her back to bed. Am going to try a star chart too. We're off to Butlins for Easter and she desperately wants to go to Angelina Ballerina's party which is £30, so that seems like a pretty viable incentive to me !

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Original poster

womblingfree · 08/03/2009 14:04

Acinonyx - I can sypathise about the squirming too. I usually end up between DD and DH, balanced on half a bum cheek with my arm (devoid of circulation) pinned under DD's head.

I think I've spent more time on the sofa and in the spare room over the last couple of weeks than I have in my own bed.

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shatteredmumsrus · 08/03/2009 18:30

My son is the same age and has neer been a good sleeper. I seriously think that they are ready for school and I know September seems a long way off but hopefully when they start they will sleep better. Sympathy and hugs x

snickersnack · 08/03/2009 22:32

When dd's sleep goes a bit wonky, which it does from time to time, I find a star chart is quite a good way of getting her back on track. That and saying "if you wake me up all night, I'll be grumpy Mummy. If you let me sleep, I'll be happy Mummy. Which would you prefer - happy Mummy or grumpy Mummy?". Strangely, that solved a problem a few weeks back, which was a bad habit of random wakings and calling out.

Original poster

womblingfree · 09/03/2009 09:32

Thanks shattered! and everyone else.

So star chart, reading and threats of grumpy mummy are probably the right way to go (although DD will probably think I'm grumpy mummy regardless of whether I get enough sleep!).

She didn't wake til 5.50 this morning. Then went back to her bed until DH got up at 6.15, saw him off and got into bed with me and watched Lazytown while I nodded!

TBH it's worse at the weekend as I always feel I have to take her downstairs out of DH's way so he can have a lie-in, and he had the bloody cheek to sleep through when it was my turn on Saturday which probably made thins seem a lot worse than they are - bloody men!

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usernametaken · 09/03/2009 10:20

We had similar problems with DD (age 4.0). She got into a very bad habit of waking in the night and then not going back to sleep. We had to break the cycle of her waking.
Here's what we did...
We took it in turns to sleep in her room for a week (on the camp bed). The first night she saw us there we just told her that we were going to stay there...if she didn't go back to sleep we'd leave the room. She woke twice the first night, once the next few nights and then she started sleeping through. We then left the bed in her room but didn't use it- we left it there incase she woke. After a week we stopped her waking.
Our next problem was getting her to sleep for longer so we bought her a digital clock. We told her if the clock said 4 or 5am she had to go back to sleep. If the clock says 6 then she can play in her room (we left books, jigsaws and drawing stuff) until she heard our alarm and then she could come and get us at 7am. She has been brilliant!
For the first time ever she is sleeping through the night and in her own bed all night! She dropped her naps at about 24ms so does need more at night.

Original poster

womblingfree · 09/03/2009 20:34

That sounds good, may try that if she goes downhill anymore.

At the moment she is on a promise for Angelina's tea party at Butlins if her behaviour generally is extra good for the next few weeks - seems to be working so far !

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Forever2Boys · 10/03/2009 09:43

We've had similar issues here too (age 4.2) Sometimes it would be him not being tired enough at his usual bedtime or early waking. Instead of delaying bedtime or having a fuss in the morning, I've been allowing him to take his Leapster to bed.

So if he wakes before his bunny clock is up, he knows to play on his Leapster until he hears his younger brother wake up. He usually only plays on it at bedtime for around 10 minutes. I hear him put his light out and put his music on.

If I didn't do this, he would be asking for just one more story etc. I need my dinner and TV in the evening

happywomble · 10/03/2009 10:40

I don't think your DD is getting enough sleep. I would try putting her to bed at 6:30, 7opm at the latest. My DD is just 4 and sleeps from 7pm to 6pm (or nearer 7 sometimes). She sometimes rises on the early side so I always make sure she is in bed on time. I would also make sure your DD is active every day. That should also make her sleep better.

Our problem is that DD often still comes in in the night..she sleeps on longer in the morning in our bed but we don't.

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