Sorry if this in the wrong place but i need some help

[outnumbered2to1]

my youngest son will be two at the end of this month but hasn't yet spoken any recognisable words. We have been to see a speech therapist who has referred us onto the It Takes Two To Talk programme by the Hanen Foundation (i think) but we could be waiting up to six months to get a place on the programme. Does anyone have a similar situation who can give me some advice or tips and tricks i can use in the meantime to try and improve our communication? at the moment it consists of him pointng and grunting or screaming for what he wants which is obviously not brilliant
any help at all would be greatly recieved
thanks

All I can advise is just keep talking to him about everything, don't pressure him to talk or correct his grunts.

My DS had a speach delay.

When my youngest dd had just turned 2 she could only say "mum" and dad".

She is now 2.6 and can say her sisters name, dog, yes, no, eye, and ear but that's about it although recently she has started to try and say other things but it seems its only me who can understand what shes saying.

HV wants us to go for an assessment but tbh, dd1 was a very late talker (3 before she could say anything recognisable other than mum and dad) as well and now we can't keep her quiet so I've asked her to hold off a little while.

Can only say not to worry and when he points to something he wants say what it is to try and get him to repeat it. For instance if he points to his cup say, "cup? you would like your cup?" Even if it comes out nothing like what it should, give him plenty of praise for trying.

My HV has also told me to discourage my elder 2 for speaking for her. They will often say "she wants a drink" or something and that way dd2 doesn't NEED to talk. So if your older dc's do this, try and get them to say "ask mummy for a drink" instead.

Hope all works out okay for you.

Hi Outnumbered,

Did speech therapist offer you any tips in the meantime...have just seen one for DD, also 2 at beg.of next mnth, and was given some leaflets offering tips in the meantime. Am happy to photocopy and post them to you, message me if you'd like to.
My DS had glue ear, grommits fitted just after xmas, so also has very few recognisable words, I do sympathise with you.

There are a couple of leaflets to download/order for parents at ican.org.uk,and they also have a section for parent/carers which has other resources, although some look pretty pricey.

Just try your best to stay relaxed about it all (easier said than done I know) because he will pick up any tension you feel etc,etc. Good luck

thanks i appreciate the advice. feel like speech therapist has just dismissed my concerns completely because he isn't 2 till end of this month - as if three bloody weeks are going to make a difference. He has no recognisable speech at all. not even mum. I am worried but am trying not to show that i'm worried. HV is worse than useless unfortunately. She reckons the delay is due to the fact that he was born with a development displacia of his hips and spent the first 8 months of his life in a body splint follwed by a pavlik harness. feels like i am banging head off brick wall. Am also a single parent so have no other adult in house to talk to at 1 o'clock in th e morning

Dont you just love professionals! Of course you're worried, he's your child, so clearly his development and wellbeing are your no.1 priority...I cant understand why HVs etc dont get this (mini rant over).

Is there likely to be a connection between the displacia and his speech (sorry, I'm not sure what the condition is)?

Does he understand what you're saying to him? That seemed to be speech therapists main concern with DD, she is also not being seen again for 2 mnths, although this was because there has been some development since she had grommits done. Has Speech therapist given you a follow up appintment other than this programme?

As Izzymom said, I'm not too concerned about dd2 because she understands everything we're saying and therfore I think she is just a late talker like dd1. Is this the same with your ds.

If you don't think he can understand you but other milestones have been reached its normally to do with their hearing (glue ear, and such like).

I would bump this thread in the morning. There are quite a few health professionals on here who will be able to give you specific tips and advice.

sorry my laptop crashed spectacularly last night and it's taken me till now to get it back up and running. DS understands everything you say to him has no problems with comprehension he just doesn't speak. Speech therapist has not given us another appointment, but she did organise a hearing test and then breezily said it would be ok to contact them if i still had any concerns. He doesn't have a problem with hearing - he could hear the grass growing so i am confident the hearing test will not throw up any problems. His developmental displacia of his hips basically meant he was born with severe dislocations in his hip joints but they are almost back to where they should be but because he was late walking (didn't get off his butt till he was 19 months) the HV said it was all connected. [hmm}

The HV is correct.

When a child is not able to move around and explore their environment, it can have an affect on their language development. It just means that they have fewer experiences because they have to wait for new toys and activities to be brought to them, rather than seeing something and being able to go over and 'check it out'.

Think of a child crawling aound the room and all the different words they would hear from you in response to what they are doing. e.g. 'no, not the curtains', 'give the fork to mummy', 'what's in your mouth?', 'have you got daddy's phone?', etc

Try giving your ds choices of things to eat/wear/drink/play with. e.g. 'do you want banana or rice cake?'. When he indicates what he wants (through pointing or attempting the word) respond by saying the item he has chosen 'ds wants banana'.

Look at books. Talk about what is hapening in the pictures. Always use short, simple sentences - ''the dog is jumping'', ''the girl is in the mud''.

Talk about what he showing interest in. So the words he is hearing are linked to what he is thinking about. Walking down the road, ds points to a bus. 'Yes, it's a bus. Bye bye bus'.

Play 'ready, steady... go' games. Rolling a ball to him. Start to leave a gap before you say 'go' to give him a chance to try the word and then roll the ball. If he tries to say the word, roll the ball.

Work on 'more'. A very powerful word that can be used in a variety of situations. Tickle him, then stop. Ask 'more tickling?', when he responds in any way, tickle again. Repeat.

Do this with snacks, on a swing and anything that he enjoys.

Have a tea party with two toys - teddy and rabbit. Have tea plates, spoons, cups. You can use two word phrases 'teddy's drink', 'rabbits biscuit', Is this drink for teddy or rabbit?' 'oh, it's teddy's drink', etc

Look into a local nursery/playgroup as these can really help with developping language. Also, do you have any 'Talking Tots' groups near you. Have seen the material used and is very good.

Hope that helps a little.

Some great advice from Desperate

thanks for that Desperate
have tried the give him choices approach but limited success at the moment. he loves books so we spend a lot of time while DS1 is at nursery looking through books - he even likes to sit with me and read the paper i know it will all eventually work out ok but i am still worried. unfortunately all mother & toddler type groups in our area have very very long waiting lists. Was thinking of starting my group with local mums on our estate but none have kids my DS2 age.

Keep going with the choices. Hold a choice in each hand to begin with, so he can just point if necessary. As you say the name of each choice, move it towards him to get him looking at it as he hears the word.

You can have a choice he is unlikely to usually want. Make sure he gets the one he chooses though so he learns that what he communicates to you means something, iyswim.

Try to look at picture books with simple pictures to make sure that the words he is hearing match what he is looking at. Looking at the same book over and over again is also good as he will get to hear the same words lots of times.

Also try to make sure the tv and radio are switch off whilst you are playing so he can fully focus on what you are sayiong to him.

If its any consolation i was very late talking - i didnt talk properly until nearly 3 but probably 6 months later i was reading! So it will happen im sure - you have been given some excellent advice.

ds2 went to baby signing - and that really helped him stop the frustration of not being able to talk - we used the word all the time but also used the sign - try your surestart centre and our local surestart also has a speech and language person attached to them. We were referred to Speech therapy and actually told there is none available anyway - they just provide us with 6 monthly assessments!

don't think we have a local sure start centre - our HV isn't even local. A friend who has high frequency deafness has offered to teach us some simple signs to help us with communication. He is such a lovely wee boy - into absolutely everything and has taken to sliding down the stairs on his belly at every available oppertunity - but just won't or can't speak. its so frustrating - for him and me.

watch something special and do basic signing?

dd2 was obsessed by the makaton nursery rhymes dvd with dave benson phillips. she has other issues and we were told she was unlikely to talk, so we started makaton at about 18 months as we were assured it wouldn't affect any speech development if it did happen. she's now entirely verbal and has an above average vocab lol, but didn't start making any intellible speech until past 3.

another vote for something special - did some very basica makaton signing with my DD and it really helped her.

Thank you for the great post, Desparate!
Our DTs just turned 15mo, they had a few words but for some reason, are not using them anymore.
They do know their toys by name and most of their body parts (i.e. where are DTs toes? The point at toes,etc.etc) but refuse to verbalise them. Why???

oh my god - i didn't event hink of something special of course - justin and mr tumble - i can't believe i didn't even think of it. been so busy looking for complex answers didn't think of a simple solution

Rollmops, I expect your dts are busy developing in other areas. It's great that they are able to understand some basic words.

Take the pressure off both yourself and them by getting them to try saying words. dcs are more likely to start using words themselves when they realise that they can get something when they communicate- hence the suggestion to offer choices.

I love 'Something Special'. Getting your friend to teach you some everyday signs would be great too, Outnumbered. I'd learn 'more' and a few for his favourite food, toys, animals.

Always make sure that you say the word as well as sign it.

having our first signing lesson on monday afternoon. at the moment i am willing to try anything anything at all to try to stop the pointing and screaming and grunting. I know he's frustrated and so am i too but the house is not much fun at the moment for all of us.

Good for you.

It might take a some time, with you signing to him for a while without him signing.

Also, be ready for only an approximation of a sign from him i.e don't expect him to be completely accurate. You might have to keep your eyes peeled in order to recognise his signs.

Let us know how you get on.

Am so glad you've had some helpful suggestions. Have bin home today and looked at leaflets given by speech therapist to us. Says to restrict sentences to 3-4 words so child can grasp which are the most important ones.
Also, lots of singing, as gives a chance to experiment with making sounds without pressure of conversation.
My tip for avoiding frustration (works maybe half time), is to say 'silly mummy couldnt understand, will you say it agin for her'. If I do this with a smile it sometimes avoids full scale, lay on floor paddy! Not always obviously, she is a nearly 2yo!!

thank you everyone for your advice it really really helps to know that i am not the only parent going through this.

izzymom - i can't seem to message you but would love those leaflets.
DS2 has now developed a stampy feet folded arms type of tantrum (or huff) which he has copied from his older brother

thank you everyone for your advice it really really helps to know that i am not the only parent going through this.

izzymom - i can't seem to message you but would love those leaflets.
DS2 has now developed a stampy feet folded arms type of tantrum (or huff) which he has copied from his older brother

My ds1 didn't talk properly till he was three so don't panic. He is a right chatterbox now! We went to a speech therapist and he tested him to see if he could understand and respond to what was being asked of him. He didn't even call us mummy or daddy, he had some stange name that didn't resemble them at all! Just do lots of talking to him and repeat words over and over like 'milk' 'bed' etc and read lots of books. :-)

There's a website where you can get resources for free, you just have to pay for postage. There are 2 DVDs - Learning to Talk, Talking to Learn and Chatter Matters. The psychologist Tana Byron is involved with this initiative. Good luck and don't worry.