20 months old whinging ALL day...starting to get on my patient nerves.

[cyphercat]

I'm being nice to her as I can as we both have bugs and viruses at the moment. Snotty and yucky. I offered her some ice cream and she says 'Ice cream Yes'. I give her ice cream in the bowl, and she starts crying. I ask her if she wants it, she keeps crying. I take the bowl away, she snatches it back. I offer to feed it to her, she snatches at her spoon with murderous look on her eyes and then whinge and cry again. I have left her alone on table and she is eating the ice cream alone now. But she will start any minuite again with something she wants EXACTLY the way she wants it. What could I do before I start tearing my hair out please. She is bossy by nature to start with so good advice would very much appreciated.

My ds is the same. Do you have any dried fruit? If you do dice it up and sprinkle it on the ice cream and say its magic fairy dust. Also hot squash in a beaker or over the ice cream works great. If no improvement then just tell her for every tantrum you are going to cconfiscate a toy and dont let hwr have it back for 24 hours. my ds is wrapped in a blanket on my lap at the mo. hope this helps

she is trying to assert control

all quite usual and very frustrating though

i don't think confiscating toys makes any impact at this age

you have to try to keep your cool, hard as it is

offer the ice cream and leave her to it - that is maybe what she wants? They are getting more independetn and gaining more skills and generally trying to find their way in the world

My dd (nearly 16months) has been really stroppy and whingy this week (she is normally the most laid back baby ever) and it is starting to wear me down too. Have found out she has got a molar coming through. Just comfort yourself with the fact it is only temporary! I let dd eat her sandwich sat on the sofa with me yesterday because she was so grumpy and clingy it was the only way i was going to be able to have my lunch without her kicking off. Hope you are all feeling better soon

I think she's oo young to have a toy taken off her, she won't remember where it's gone or why.

My ds has a lways been a strppy beggar and he also needs things 'just so'. He's 18 months and the slightest foot wrong an it's tears or at least fake cryiing and whinging. He's always been like it though.

I still think it's frustration and above all it is normal. They are still trying to make sense of things and asserting their independence. This with the lack of communication skills throughly pees my son off!

I do as alicecrail says, try and pick my battles, if he wants to eat on the floor or sofa then so what?? I don't always sit in the same chair or the same place to eat so why should he?? Yes he males a mess but I'd take that over endless crying any day.

Sometimes he whinges (I'm conviced of this) wihout even realising it. It's like he knows he hasn't made much of a noise for a while so he does a fake cry just cos he can. Maybe that's just him being wierd but I think they are all stroppy at this age! The wrong toy or the toy not doing what he thinks it should do and all hell breaks loose. Today he cried cos I finished brushing his teeth and he wanted them doing again. A few months ago he'd have cried because I brushed his teeth, wierd creatures!

ooops, he's 19 months now (time flies eh??!)

thank you for all the replies. Yes I think poor thing now has continuous coughs and also teeth coming through from four directions!! I'll report a bit more later. I think I'll try to distract her today as she is quite reasonable not so hysterical like this usually.

I have 18 month old twins, and where my dd is very independant and happy, my son just whinges his way through the day, cries for no reason, and seems generally unhappy and dissatisfied with everything, anyone know at what age does the whingeing stop.

I don't know but I'm sure it will get better. my DD doesn't usually whinge that's why I was bit worried. I think it could be just personality and he might blossom a bit later than you DD.

if it helps, my nephew was a clingy whingy toddler but he's a sensitive lovely pre teenager!! Really sweet )

Totally sympathise. My 21 month old dd is very moany at the moment - teeth coming through. I sometimes feel myself lose patience, and best way of coping is just taking her off high chair and cuddling - calms us both down. Then if she wants to eat ice cream off my lap, then fine.

hmmm yes We were being very patient then dd started scratching DH's face, on purpose, very hard. DH lost his patience then...oops

ds2 has been whingy and demanding from the day he was born. He's now 18.5 months and fingers crossed it is wearing off a bit now as his speech starts to come. If he'd been my first I'm not sure there would have been a second, the constant shrieking and nagging has been torturous!

ehmmm okay now she has been on the floor for about 20 min. crying/whinging on and off. I left her there as she started scratching my face. I don't know what we are going to do today. She is trying to peek at me while she is lying down and making whinging/crying sound. I'm so fed up now.

she is perfectly capable of telling me what she wants. I have gone and asked her what she wants, cuddles, food, tv, toys,... no to everything and this high pitched really nervetastic crywhinge....

Presumably you are giving calpol as required? They get so miserable with these bugs that are doing the rounds. Also, small children often get horrible earache when they are teething and full of cold. Earache is torture to a small child.

I remember feeling really stressed at ds2 when he whinged and cried all day - turned out he had an ear infection. I felt awful

Hope all improves soon.

cyphercat we are going through this too with 19mo dd. She just melts down - one day because my mum gave her a banana - one day because she wanted to wear her shoes on the wrong feet - and don't even start me on the wailing when it comes to food.

I think communication is frustrating for them at the moment - we can understand most of what dd is trying to say but sometimes we are clueless. Can you imagine how frustrating that must be for her!

It is so hard not to get annoyed. I have tried ignoring and distraction - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. C-beebies normally works though !

DC2 is due to arrive in a couple of weeks and I just know that dd will be a nightmare.

Just wanted you to know that you are not alone!

ahhhh I have been trying to avoid cbeebies..that might be why it's soooooooooo difficult. I'm gonna put it on now and give her calpol. Thanks for all the reply I do feel like the evil witch but also I don't want her to think that scratching and hitting are way to go in any case when we are so accommodating to her needs and wants 99% of the time.