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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

why is my child always the problem child?

15 replies

bumbly · 05/03/2009 19:05

writing from abroad as finally thought could go and visit my dad to cheer myself up

toddler 19 months

been absolutely nightmare

waking up every day at 5 - usually sleeps till 7-8 here no way even after settling in

no naps when usually napped 3 hours

and then has now started having major tantrums and am getting dad telling me am doing all wrong

plus getting very spoilt and ignoring me

is this normal - every bloody friend i have with babies says so easy to travle and they have had a whale of time and no probs..

i have been sleeping nothing and holiday truning into big stress time - big

mumsnet help me

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HumphreyCobbler · 05/03/2009 19:09

Sounds normal to me.
You could be describing my ds at that age.
After one trip away I cried with tiredness on the way home as he had not slept more than four hours a night with NO naps during the day.
Relax, it is not your fault. Ds is now really chilled out and sleeps well. My friend's children however.....

dragonbutter · 05/03/2009 19:11

oh DS1 does this.
for some reason as soon as we go somewhere else he becomes horrible.
then of course you are also out of your own comfort zones and start to question yourself too, because maybe you're only noticing this behaviour because you're seeing it through somebody elses eyes.
but really, you're sure they are fine at home, and keep trying to explain, but it looks like you're making excuses.
Gah, it's hideous, and you swear not to go on holiday again until the children are nearing adulthood.
been there.
no advice really, just wanted to offer some sympathy.
my child is also, always the problem child.

Original poster

bumbly · 05/03/2009 19:12

thanks am feeling bit better as am crying alone writing this

OP posts:

CrushWithEyeliner · 05/03/2009 19:12

Normal, trips away are unsettling in a way but a massive learning curve for them.

Original poster

bumbly · 05/03/2009 19:14

so why eveyrone else i know never has toruble taking their child away of same age...why is my child always the one who never setlles on aholiday, never chews his food, always had this and that from birth???
never been independent to drive me to near madness? and i put so much effort into it all

you should ahve seen the plannign into this short fmaily week long trip and yet all gone wrong

been stuck at home trying to get him to nap so perhapsd enjoys evenings and today tantrun of hell

so why bother?

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 05/03/2009 19:21

When DS1 was 19 months I wouldn't have dared travel abroad with him. It would have been too much hard work.

I think some DC's (like adults) are good travellers, others aren't.

Sorry you are having a rubish time.

dragonbutter · 05/03/2009 19:23

maybe because people you know don't visit family when they go on holiday so it's kept as a sort of cellular environment.
visiting family abroad means introducing new environments and people.
also your attention is also shared with the people you visit so the kids fight to make sure you don't forget them.
maybe?

you say you've gone on holiday to cheer yourself up. have you been feeling down?

i took a trip last year to 'cheer myself up'. it was a disaster. it was way too much pressure coping with the kids alone, visiting family, the criticism thinly veiled as advice. i've never been so glad to be home, so in a way the trip was a success from that perspective.

have a big hug & stop dripping snot on your keyboard.

can you do something fun while your on your trip, either get a break from the kids and do something for you? or go with you DS to something just for him. while you might not feel like treating him, maybe it would be the reassurance he needs to be with just you.?

TotalChaos · 05/03/2009 19:24

completely normal for being away from home to screw up their sleep patterns at this age.

LIZS · 05/03/2009 21:29

Sounds pretty normal - he doesn't know that it is only an hour from home, an hour out of sync to his usual routine or that he will go back to familiarity soon. For him it is different place and people, over exciting, stimulating and new but scary and unsettling which he cannot yet express other than throguh behaviour. To an extent you will have better time if you stop fretting and go with it for now, nodding at the comments and carrying on as you nromally do at home (consistency is important to toddlers). Let your dad mind him while you catch up on some sleep or take a bath, see how he copes !

btw your friends lie - about travel, sleep , feeding , behaviour ....

melll · 05/03/2009 21:44

i was gonna say pretty much what lizs said. i think she sums it up.

missorinoco · 05/03/2009 21:48

your child is always the problem child because you haven't met mine!

seriously, as has been said above, he's out of his comfort zone, and this is his wasy of showing it.

can you offer your dad grandparent - grandchild bonding time and get out of the house for a few hours?

TotalChaos · 06/03/2009 08:00

lol missorinoco! and yes, your friends may well lie - or see things with rose tinted specs - e.g. at that age DS was fine on holiday, but would be a nightmare to settle for the night - so if someone asked afterwards I might not think to mention the negatives iyswim.

Pruners · 06/03/2009 08:05

Message withdrawn

Smee · 06/03/2009 09:59

Just adding to the it's normal brigade. Go get yourself a large drink...

cory · 06/03/2009 10:05

Trouble is in the eye of the beholder. My dd did all the things you mention, yet now with the beautiful inner calm that hindsight and the passing of a decade brings, I would probably tell you that travelling with her as a toddler was perfectly doable- I did it, and I'm still alive, aren't I?

Whether it actually felt doable at the time is a different matter...

We took dd on the train to Berlin when she was 23 months. Looking back I can't see a problem. But I know I talked and sang to her non-stop for those 17 hours. It's just that you can do a lot of recovering in 10 years

Pour yourself a big drink- you deserve it!

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