things you did when a child that your parents would have gone spare at. had they known

[hatwoman]

that thread about the things our parents did got me thinking about the things I did.

I used to play on a building site. we used to make dens in these huge mounds of soil and rubble. we'd find bits of ply or wood and make tunnels and roofs .

Play in the totally derelict eaves above the virtually derelict milking shed in the farm next door, daylight seeping through every crack and hole in the floor. rats and mice all over the place

clamber over and play on the rusty abandoned tractors in same farm. not so bad but not great either

harass our neighbours by "spying" on them. sneaking into their overgrown garden and prying through their windows before running away giggling and screaming

geogimama - well that's what my Mum thought (she was much worse than I ever was) and I've since told her about all the things I used to do and just got this long, hard, silent stare.

not forgetting the wonderful time I came home so drunk I couldn't stand up only just made it upstairs without my parents noticing and decided to go for a wee in my underware drawer because I didn't want to have to walk to the bathroom

woke up to my dad standing over a mound of socks and knickers on the floor and a soaking wet floor shouting WTF is going on here

trying to smoke a fag under my papa's bed when I was about 6

stealing some chews from teh newsagents on my way back from school

Getting progressively older:
Weeing in a corner of my bedroom many times and blaming the cat.
Playing in the sewage outlet from the camp site at the end of our road after being told not to.
Stealing money for sweets then progressing onto fags.
Phoning sex lines and running up huge bill then blaming my brother.
Climbing up into the loft and watering down the booze saved for Xmas.
Losing virginity at age 13.
Using all their money to buy drugs at uni.

God I hope my kids are nicer than I was.

THe first time i came home drunk - i tried to hide it, although falling over the hoover was probably a give away - i went to bed and needed to be sick so i puked out of the window - lovely big trail of sick all down the wall!

my friend put on a pair of marigolds and wanked off her border collie for a dare
her parents found out though and did go spare - nailpolish, you are a poet and dont know it!

Had a seance in my neighbours shed trying to bring back Elvis Presley - twas shortly after he died!!!

Went to Tunisia with friend when i was 18 for 2 weeks after telling mum I was going to local camp in England!

Oh yes - climbing onto a roof. It was the roof of an empty bungalow. To get up there, you had to climb up a rusty water tower, then leap from the top of that to the guttering, crawl up to the apex and slither down the other side. Did this regularly, to visit a broody chicken who roosted up there.

Have foolishly told dd (age 5) this story. I hope it didn't give her ideas. She was suitably shocked by my errant behaviour and immediately told my mum!

We used to play chicken on the A3 (big dual carriageway from London to Portsmouth if you're not familiar with it). We climbed a hill at the top of our road, over the fence and there we were.

My parents would freak even now.

Age 9: Tried to forge a 20 page school progress folder thingy because I thought I would get in trouble if I admitted I had lost the original.
Age 11: Built a hideout hut in a peat bog next to a railway line.
Age 17: Drove home drunk from a party in the country in thick fog, with my head stuck out the window because I couldn't concentrate.

Taking mushrooms / acid / speed , having sex, getting outrageously drunk & smoking all at age 14, thought not necessarily all at once .

Come to think of it the only one still I do now is sex. How old and boring good I am these days!

Oh yes, and I told my mum I was going to stay at a friend's and revise on a weekend near to my A-levels when in fact we took a coach to Amsterdam for a long weekend hanging round in coffee shops. (We did do some revision on the boat!)

God teenagers can be devious! Looking back I was hardly ever where I said I was. Of course my son will never do that to me

My mate and I made magic mushroom soup in Home Ec when we were 14, then ate it

At around the same time we used to somehow steal 2 litre flagons of cider from the offy - the poor old lady in there was pretty much blind ...god we were evil, I hope none of my kids are like I was!

When we were still at junior school we found a full packet of cigarettes outsid eschool so we hid them and met after school ( a group of 4 and my younger sister) and we smoked. Then we went to play rolling down the grass bank and I was really sick afterwards.

Also in last couple of years at secondary I wrote my own notes to get off sport (cross country in mid winter)couldn't do my mums signature so I did my grans and told them she was in charge!

i remember me and my brother weeing in the corner of our bedroom and blaming it on the cat how weird . I drew a sex booklet! with really bad animation of people having sex! I was about 10 and didn't even know about erections so the whole thing was ridiculous but mum found it under my bed When we were 13 my friend who's parents ran a Youth hostel (it was closed for the weekend and they were away for the DAY) hsd s huge party, it started at 12pm!!?? with loads of older people, well aged 16 or 17 there was so much booze flying round, an hour later everyone was snogging, fumbling, getting lovebites, flashing their boobs/willies out of the window, throwing up crying fighting etc, then everyone ambled home around 5pm for tea!!! Surely my mum must've noticed!!??

Pushed crayons up my little sisters nose.

Wee'd under her bed and blamed it on her.

Scribbled on the wall and blamed it on her but got caught out with that one cos she couldn't reach as high as I'd scribbled.

Pulled out the dogs whiskers.

Tied earth worms into knots.

Went roaming the fields surrounding our house, alone, when I was 5. Field had horses in it too.

Threw a stone at a girl I hated and gashed her cheek when I was about 4/5 I felt awful afterwards I don't know what possessed me. I still shudder when I think about it now.

Put all manner of insects including those with pinchers into my dads work boots before he went to work one morning. Later he told me he nearly had a crash when something bit him on the toe.

Got me and my sis DRUNK when I was 16 after being left to look after her whilst parents went out and raiding their drinks cabinet. Passed out on floor when they arrived home.

Frequently poured some joke shop 'crap-a-lot sugar' into my step-fathers coffee whenever I had to make him one.

Escaped from my bedroom through the window after my dad had gone to bed to meet up with a man 15 yrs my senior who drove the buses. (Dad also had trip wires and infa-red CCTV in the garden due to general paranoia about the neighbourhood but I knew where they were and where not to tread so I ecscaped al la Catherine Zeta Jones)

I've done lots more but to ashamed to admit! I'm a good girl now. Honestly.

God, hardly anything - i was petrifyingly good. all htese terrify me! must return and read this thread when ds is 13...

once bunked off school, went to London for the day - and went to see Romeo and Juliet at the Regent's Park Theatre [ponce]

probably had a naughty ice cream too

Oh the porno mags under a bush in the park! Must have been about 10 - I can remember as though it were yesterday - the gardener invited in to help her with her bath - the torn photo of his hand massaging her chest and all the soap suds... (pretty tame stuff really and just as well).

My friend and I had a spell of trying to write our own similar stories in a similar stories.

There was this old lady down the road who used to give us sweets when we knocked at her door. One day she wasnt in so we broke in and stole some anyway - four of us all under age 8!!

Dropped a bouncy ball off the top of a 13 storey block of flats, to watch it bounce to the sixth or seventh floor. Quite impressive really and we used to do it quite a lot. Presumably it would have killed anyone walking underneath stone dead.

Used to regularly take 10p and 50p coins from a local young male stranger, who oddly wanted to give them to a group of ten year old girls to play on arcade machines and things at a fair, while he held our hands and pretended to be our dad. Ah, those were innocent days.

There was also a short spell of daring each other to walk along a ledge of a local sandstone cliff (disused quarry).

explore german 2nd world war bunkers. They were really scary but also possibly dangerous. We found a bullet one day!

Jesus-When our catherine was born (she's 3 years younger than me)i took her down the road and left her in a neighbours garden.
When I was 7 me and my cousin took the camp beds and deckchairs out of the shed and built a fire out of them between the shed and the garage and set them on fire,when the fire took hold (of the shed) we decided to go in and act casually whilst reeking of paraffin and having smudges of ash on us-my eyebrows and fringe had singed so i wasn't going to get away with that I got absolutely battered for that.
when i was 8 i was on the garage roof and fell through it,was screaming and supporting my weight with my arms,my mum calmly unlocked the garage and smacked my arse/legs whilst i was still suspended in said garage before helping me down.
In primary school in junior 3 i used to smoke fag dimps from my friends mums ashtray in the toilet at playtime,in junior 4 I used to do the crisp round as i was responsible (i got free crisps and used to steal 10p a day from the takings to give to my friend Martina to bring me sweets in the next day)when i went to secondary school i got really naughty.
took tonnes of drugs,hung round with people who were really really unsuitable and a lot older than us-passed acid around our religion retreat so everyone was totally off their faces-the usual. Slept out in parks/on the meadows so we could stay out tripping and smoking dope when i should have been at my friends houses for sleep overs. Hung out with really wild popstars and all the associated hanger onners got a mention in nme for being a baby faced ligger when i was 16
went to college and got a 40year old millionaire boyfriend who bought me a car-which we parked round the corner from the house and drove round thinking nobody would ever mention that we had a fucking brand new sportscar with a phone in it at age 17 as a'level students...i think i might have been a nightmare you know???
my teen now keeps trying to do stuff and is trying to work out how i am about 40 steps ahead of her...
oh,i also got done for car theft and spent the night before my latin a'level in a police cell only being released at 6am to go home,change and do my exam......jesus...

Broke into an empty house with about 10 other kids and used it as a den.
Broke into a derelict place where old caravans and buses were stored, lots of broken glass around. Funny thing was, that place had a sign up saying "Trespassers will be prosecuted." Now, I thought at the time that prosecuted meant you would have your head chopped off, I had the word confused with "executed" but was obviously willing to risk my life to enter this place. There was also a stash of porno mags there which I found very informative!
At 17, told my parents I was staying with a friend but actually went with another friend and our boyfriends to stay in one of the guys' houses, his parents were away!

lots

Put emery board in socket and turned it on.. blew fuses in the house and there was an almighty bang

Put the starting pistol 'bullets' on garden path and smashed them with sledge hammer.. that was really loud

broke into unoccupid house and played there with kids from our neighbourhood.. the garden was really over grown

Took my older sisters 'pills' when i was about 8-9 (she was 16ish). Didnt know what they were just that they were sweet tasting

Smoking pot in my room and saying the smell was incense.. and she believed me

There is a lot more.. but too naughty and some down right disgraceful to put here