When did your dc start having strops, and when did they stop? (help!)

[alicecrail]

My DD is 15 1/2months old and has been walking about 7 weeks or so. In the last week she has started to get really stroppy. For example: when i am dressing her she will suddenly arch her back and throw her head back, hitting me square in the nose, and this morning she clawed at DH's face when he told her no (she was trying to jump off our bed).
She has up until this point been the happiest, calmest, most laid back child ever and we always joked that we would be in for a shock once she became a teenager!! is it the terrible two's started early? does that even exist? Can you tell we're first time parents?

DD started pretty much on her first birthday.

She is almost 7yo and still a stroppy wee madam sometimes.

Sorry, not much help, was I?

I think it varies from child to child.
I find the stage from around 12 months to 24 months, 24 months and a half very demanding and quite frustrating (both for the child and the parents!)
I also find that they can be stroppier before/around a crucial developmental stage (or teething ).

12 months for both dcs. Ds2 recently had his first birthday and it is like someone flicked a tantrum switch on. My laid back, happy-go-lucky baby is now a stroppy young man. Takes me forever to dress him or change his nappy, and I dread aving to do it in public.

Don't know when it ends. Think it is a 'how long is a piece of string' question. Ds1 is better now (2.10yo), but still has his moments. My 7yo niece still has horrific meltdowns over the smallest thing.

Stop? They stop?

oh dear. dd (2.10) went to cms in her pajamas this morning, having refused for an hour to get dressed or brush her teeth. Am feeling dreadful about it now... don't think that strops stop, I am capable of getting into a tizzy over nowt!

Oh dear! What is the best way of dealing with them? I am going for the ignore them til they stop approach and/or distraction at the moment - is this right?

I feel your pain. DS has just started throwing the odd strop (16 months).
We either ignore, for example, if I shut the gate so he can't get in the kitchen, he sometimes cries and strops, so I ignore until he's calmed down a bit, then start chatting away to him.
Or if I need him to do something, like get dressed, I try distraction - doing the same thing to his teddy often works.

Hitting is a big no-no, and I'm still trying to work out techniques of dealing with that as I don't feel I can ignore it.

I still have the occasional strop at 36!

um - you don't want to hear this - my DS1 went into major tantrum mode at about 18 months and at 7.5 now he still does

He doesn't get distracted by anything we do - although if something interesting to him (eg a tractor driving by) he can snap out of it immediately.

He is peristent too - can keep it up for up to an hour - and when he was little he used to follow you around so ignoring was hard. Now he will go to his room (reluctantly) when told to to calm down - but you can still hear him.

on a more positive note the most successful approach I found was to head them off before they start. So rather than telling them it is time to get dressed give them a choice of two things. That way the option for an outright no is reduced and they feel they have some control over their actions. Worth trying at least.

Similarly as others, DS changed on his first birthday, now nappy changes are a nightmare. important to remember that if you look after their main needs, a strop is less likely (i.e. tiredness, thirst, hunger, teething, illness really affect their stropiness, and you can help to minimise the effects of these). this might help too!!

Distraction and ignoring works some of the time - as does picking your battles and avoiding flare points. If you know they like to wear a green top - then just wash it every night till they get bored of it. If they hate the shoes in the shop don't buy them because they will never wear them and don't let food be a flashpoint ever (says NL - veteran of all these mistakes!)

Thank you all. Have just noticed this afternoon that dd has actually got her first molar coming through, Now feel a bit guilty for thinking it was just behaviour problems! Although i'm sure its not just teeth, seems to be as wilful as her mother!