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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is 15 months too young to wean off a dummy during the day?

19 replies

RGPargy · 03/03/2009 14:28

Title says it all really. DD is 15 months and has had a dummy since she was about a month old. Now she's become quite reliant on it (probably all our fault) and i have decided it's time to get her off it during the day. TBH, i'm sick of seeing her with it stuck in her mouth!!

She's been very good over the last couple of days (we started Sunday) but at times she's been a bit like an ex-smoker craving a cigarette - grumpy and constantly chewing her fists!

This makes me wonder if we should wait til she's a little older or whether we should just persevere with it and hopefully she'll not need it during the day any more.

Obviously she's allowed it at bed time and if she naps in her cot, otherwise it's not allowed.

Any advice anyone please?

TIA

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nickytwotimes · 03/03/2009 14:29

The longer you leave it, the harder it'll be. Persever for as long as you can put up with the agro!

Original poster

RGPargy · 03/03/2009 14:33

Phew, thanx Nicky2x. She hasn't been ultra bad or anything, but when she's tired she can get VERY grump! Today, for instance, i took her to Bounce & Rhyme at the library and towards the last 10 mins she started to act up a bit. She had a biscuit but then asked for another so when i said no, she took out the chewed up biscuit from her mouth and proceeded to slap my chest and grab my (black) top with her custard cream drool covered hand. It was quite funny on hindsight!!

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Original poster

RGPargy · 03/03/2009 14:33

Very grumpy without her dummy, i mean.

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Bubbaluv · 03/03/2009 14:35

Don't wait until she gets too close to 2. She sounds like she already has a strong opinion on what she wants and that is only likely to increase!
Have you considered the Dummy Fairy?

Original poster

RGPargy · 03/03/2009 15:17

yes i have considered the Dummy Fairy but think she's a bit young to understand that the DF needs her dumdums so that all the tiny little new babies can have them..... I was thinking of doing that for her bed time dummy if she still has one when she's old enough to understand.

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Bubbaluv · 03/03/2009 15:24

Could you not do a simplified DF thing? Just tell her the DF took all her dummies and left her a new (insert attractive present) instead. Then make sure you throw out the dummies so you can't cave in.
The real benefit of this is that you shift the blame. Mummy didn't take the dummies - the DF did!
At that age I really found that cold turkey was the only way to go as everything else just drags out the pain for all concerned. It's never as bad as you imagine and it's all over in a few days.
They are incredibly flexible at that age, more so than in 5 months time anyway!
I do feel for you - good luck!

EllieG · 03/03/2009 15:27

Not much advise, but support - personally, I found cold turkey best with mine, but she is younger. If it's been 2 days you're probably over the worst of it, and will be lovely to get rid of it - when I got rid of my Lo's dummy I did think her little face looked much nicer without it!

Original poster

RGPargy · 03/03/2009 21:35

Thanx for your support ladies. I dont mind DD having the dummy for bed time and naps in her cot so they can stay for now. i do hate her having just for mooching around lol.

I dont think that DD would understand even about the simplified DF story as i'm not sure that at 15 months old they have any reasoning or understanding of people taking things etc.

With DS (i'm talking 16 years or so ago now), one night he couldn't find his dummy so i told him i would go and look for it and if i found it, i'd bring it up. I never found it () and he didn't have a dummy since, or even ask for it! I really hope it's that easy with DD when i want to get rid of her night time dummy!

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scarlotti · 06/03/2009 15:32

RGPargy - hang in there! We kept the dummy for sleep times only and just told ds that it stayed in bed. Last xmas when he was just over 3, santa took the dummy away for the babies who need it and left a cuddly toy instead. He'd been asked what cuddly toy he wanted santa to bring - it was hard work finding a cuddly giraffe but I managed!!
The other thing was that the dummies ended up with holes in them a few weeks before xmas and we didn't replace them. Ds wasn't as fussed on them once that had happened.

Personally I don't have an issue with dummies for toddlers as long as it's only for sleep time, but I know others feel differently.

Original poster

RGPargy · 06/03/2009 17:29

Hi Scarlotti!

So far so good. She is asking for it less and less during the day, so i think I will deffo do what you did and keep the dummies in her bedroom. I was thinking of doing that this morning actually! Spooky! Great idea about Santa.

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scarlotti · 06/03/2009 18:00

Excellent, glad it's working. We used to have about 6 or 7 of the things in his bedroom, all down the side of the bed and everything
Tbh, by the time he was 3 he fully understood about giving them up and really didn't seem to mind.

Original poster

RGPargy · 06/03/2009 22:53

Well tonight went well. She was quite awake when i said to her that it was time to go to bed (still no dummy). I took her upstairs and put her in her cot. she went to turn over as she normally does before she goes to sleep but i panicked and just shoved a dummy in her gob lol. I'm intrigued to know now whether she would have gone off to sleep without one! Stupid mummy!!!

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outnumbered2to1 · 07/03/2009 12:14

my DS is now almost two and i wish to god i had taken his dummy off him earlier. He now is only allowed it at bed time and is quite cute in the morning when he hands it over at the breakfast table looking like he is sending his best friend off to the firing squad wee sausage. After trying and failing at several other methods i eventually settled on the big boys don't need a dirty dummy in the daytime. took awhile but we got there. perserverance and distraction works wonders.

kristatwin · 07/03/2009 13:13

On my second day without dummies in the day, i am just giving them to them at naptime and bedtime, i have twins 18 months old, yesterday ds went ballastic about 5.00 and continued for an hour,he then fell asleep without the dummy in the car, spoke to the health visitor and she said to just limit the dummies to bedtime as ds is speaking with the dummy at the side of his mouth, hence he is not learning to curl his tongue properly to speak.

solo · 07/03/2009 13:15

Could you tell her that the Easter bunny takes it away and leaves a dooly instead?

solo · 07/03/2009 13:16

And if she's really good, it leaves a dolly

Original poster

RGPargy · 07/03/2009 19:50

Solo!

I have to admit that i caved in for about 5 minutes today DS and I were in the bank trying to sort out his bank account and DD was creating merry hell so i just gave her the "emergency dummy" so that the poor lady didn't have to listen to DD squawking whilst trying to explain stuff to DS and I. I took it off her immediately we'd finished talking and she hasn't had it since (except for at bedtime).

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fledtoscotland · 07/03/2009 22:56

we try to just have the dummy for Ds1 for naps and the car but he just steals his brothers!

have decided that its not worth the aggro of two screaming kids so he can keep it at the moment and then the dummy fairy can collect both dummys next christmas (DS1 will be 26months and DS2 15months)

Original poster

RGPargy · 08/03/2009 17:23

Good idea! It must be much more difficult if there's another sibling that's using a dummy too!

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