no, in response to earlier post, it is NOT normal for men to do bugger-all,though a lot will,if they think they can get away with it, or use the ...but i work all week...excuse.My dh use to work 12hr shifts, but when he came home, he would make dinner,(depending on shift),or take children out, or do some housework.I totally expected this, not felt like i should be grateful,(though of course i was),but, they are HIS children too and needs to take an active role in their up-bringing.Earlier post is right-how will your DC remember their father when older-someone who put his love of golf before spending time with them.So what if he likes golf? When we have children,our priorities have to change-HIS as well, not just yours.What do you like to do? It sounds like you have given up everything, and for him nothing has changed.You must demand time for yourself-you are not selfish for wanting that and you are defo NOT being unreasonable. It will make you a more relaxed mum, with more to give emotionally to your children. If you do nothing, you may become ill, and you will resent your dh more and more and it will damage your relationship with him. Get angry with him, cos what hes doing, IS damaging your relationship with your children-you are stressed out, tired, and probably depressed. Would it be worth a chat with your GP, to say how stressed you are- he may suggest a course of anti depressants.This wont change your situation, but may take the edge off things, and help you to feel calmer, and have more patience with your little ones. I know you dont mean it, but please try to be calmer with them-your eldest is only 4-and i feel you are probably shouting about your situation and frustation with your dh,rather than at them-iyswim-and no bloody wonder-i cant tell you where id be sticking those golfclubs...Take care of yourself-you deserve it.