Is the terrible twos really this bad...constantly all day every day?

[Hanifah]

Hi my ds is 2 in a few weeks and was starting to really mature (or so I thought) his speech isnt great for his age but has started to come along and he was getting so well behaved too...then he caught a tummy bug which lasted 2 weeks and since then I dont know who this child is...it started with my mum coming to visit,he was so clingy with me(which I thought was bcos hed been sick)moany and not letting her take him or me do a thing...also he was being naughty throwing things and shouting etc...my mum said its the terrible twos but I was convinced he still wasnt well as he went from running off everywhere on his own to wanting to be carried and just whinging about everything...when he wasnt shouting and getting upset/frustrated about everything...2 weeks later and I dont recognise my own child!?!?Hes stopped napping during day and refuses to sleep (even for nap) without a bath(which im not gna do twice a day)...is so moany all day until he finally goes asleep at night time...but going too early bcos of not napping so wakes incredibly early and sleep is all over the place...Im 7mths preg and I think hes starting to understand theres a new baby coming...he is just shouting and behaving badly for no reason...but the crying/whinging/clinginess/being miserable about everything is confusing me...is that also part of the terrible 2s???hes getting extremely clingy with dh more than me even and between the 2 of us we cant cope lol. I thought I was going mad but yesterday and today dh has seen just what Im talking about...he wont even let him sit down for a few mins...without pulling him up grabbing his hand and moaning (his speech isnt that clear yet so cant always say what he wants)He wants to go upstairs then moans and wants to go downstairs etc...is just happy with nothing...wants to be held...then wants u to let him go...sumwhere...where i dont know...then moans cos u put him down...Does this sound like terrible twos...or jealousy/attention seeking about new baby? or could it be his back teeth making him miserable(hes gone from having only 2 bottles - a bottle in the morning and 1 going to bed to looking for 4 a day?)Dont think I should take him docs as what can I say is wrong?lol...except I dont recognise this child and its driving me crazy.Hes also gone from loving to play and watch cartoons to being miserable unless hes in the bath or outside...has also developed some "shame" thing about doing wees and poos since he had the bug...hides to do both and says "byebye" and hits us away if we come near...has also started taking his willy out of nappy and weeing round the house when we're not looking...have tried potty training but he wont let me take his nappy off and he screams blue murder if i sit him on potty. I literally cant go to the toilet without him going mad I feel like I cant get a seconds break and will never have time to prepare for the new baby. Anyone any suggestions if this is "the terrible twos"? or something else? I thought we had got over the tantrums (he used to just sulk when not getting his own way) I could deal with the miserable clinginess if he was ill or the tantrums/screaming if he was going thru the terrible twos...but do they realy come together?Iknow I should ignore negative behaviour but I think he senses its getting to me...he keeps calling me "bold" (naughty) and when I pretend to cry he says "mama" very sweetly and kisses me...he play fights with dh but doesnt hit me or anything...just gives out & screams "no" when I havent even said anything. Before he got the bug he had a few weeks back he was such a joy ...90% of the time so good...and 10% being an "assertive" toddler...but now it is unbearbale...both dh and I are stressed to the max. Any ideas?thanks

Forgot to mention he has also gotten very clumsy...am not sure if its on purpose or not for attention because he makes sure we ask "are u ok" so he can say "oh,im ok" lol...and he is also eating more than usual

I remember my dd got very clingy for a couple of weeks at age 2. She wanted breastfeeding continuously and it drove me mad. I posted on here about it and people said it had happened to them and would pass... and a couple of weeks later it did and she was back to her old self. Sounds like you have a lot going on at once but it all sounds quite normal, I think the best thing you can do is relax and try to keep positive with him. Perhaps allow him the extra bottles and see if you can get him to nap (even if it does mean an extra bath - might be worth it to get a break?) because if you're all less tired it might make a difference to the other issues. Hope things start to improve soon

thanks thats good to hear.have been letting him have the extra bottles partly bcos its easier and partly bcos im so proud hes finally saying the word "bottle" LOL. He will only nap if he wakes before 8am...anytime after that and hes not tired until way too late...think I should make sure he gets up early regardless of what time he sleeps...but easier said than done. He loves his bath but I think its just a power struggle as he asks for it any time of day even if hes had one a few hours before,lol. It does soothe his skin too as he has molloscum contagiosum (skin virus) since July...that could be irritating him too. Thanks for the advice..I might try talking him for a walk at nap time too...hopefully it will pass in a few wks like u said...its so hard to be firm with him when hes being naughty when he seems unwell/upset about something too

Couldn't quite follow all your OP, sorry but he sounds like my DD who is 2 in 2 weeks. I'd had just about all I could take of her yesterday.

She hits us, she pinches and bites. She climbs on everything. She throws things. If I leave the room she screams and tries to follow me.

As I'm not expecting another baby and we've had no changes at all at home I assume this is "normal" for this age. My sympathies.

(smaller paragraphs are ever so much easier to read )

lol thanks

growth spurt!
another phase!
try to stay calm i know how hard it is ds an dd have both gone through it,i was hoping dd now 3 had come out the other side but yesterday she wouldn't walk unless she was running off she didn't want to be carried, wouldn't get in her car seat, made my life hell in the end i gave up and said ok you do what you like im going with out you and guess what she sat in her seat put on her belt and said can we go now mummy! lol
she has started putting herself on the naughty step too,until shes happy and announces "im happy now mummy!"
I think they just get a bit frustrated because they don't know what they want them selves!
try to stay positive and enjoy them while they are young as they grow too quick.

thanks I think it was just a phase/possibly teething as hes gotten over the tantrums..still a little bit clingy and waking up crying but not so difficult all day long...still seems a bit off but hopefully he'll be himself again soon

The clumsiness is probably due to tiredness. When DS1 was that age he'd fall over everything if he was tired.

Is his skin tight/itchy with his virus? Do baths dry out his skin?

Sorry you're going through all this! it will pass. Everything passes, then they find a brand new way to annoy you.

thanks beautiful! yeah i tink hes extra tired and hungry bcos of growth spurt...and grouchy bcos of teething or skin...just unfortunate that hes also at that age where hes starting to assert himself...I dont mind telling him no and being firm about tantrums...but its hard to do when theyre clingy and not well. His skin is a bit like chicken pox(only can last anywhere from a few months to 2 yrs...hes had it since swimming pool in july)It makes him very itchy and he scratches and makes them blead/spreads them...thats why hes still on the bed with us cos even when hes asleep hes frustrated with it and moans "ah ah" and puts his arms/legs out to be creamed. Weve tried everything - calamine,e45,sudocreme etc but find the best is camomile(we go through a tub a week)as its a virus nothing will cure it but that soothes it best and he loves being creamed lol...baths seem to soothe his skin with lots of bubble bath...I didnt bath him much before becos I was worried about drying his skin but he loves it and it settles him (just have to make sure I use a new towel evrytime so dont spread it)Everytime we think theyre gone new ones appear with blackheads(tmi) poor baby...Im just hoping the summer helps heal it. Thanks for reminding me that it will pass...it is easy to forget that sometimes.Im feeling pretty depressed (almost 30wks preg)maybe he can sense Im down and is acting up too