Wanting everything she sees

[Nmd]

Is wanting everything in shops just a phase or could I do anything to stop it? In every single shop we go into, my 2y10m daughter wants sweets/toys/cakes/dresses/shoes/comics etc and just goes on & on & ON about it!! I usually do my best bored-but-firm voice & say no, and just remove her from the shop if she gets into a full blown wobbly, have also tried taking her in specifically to buy something for her, but after she chose that wanted loads more. I always used to say no to everything but decided I was being a bit mean about 6 months ago and if it wasn't too close lunch or whatever agreed to the odd lolly - is this the problem? Help!!

Nmd - for your sanity, I would recommend being extremely strict. I tend to pop into at least one shop every day, but my boys have learned that then never get anything if they whinge, whine, or nag. But that very occasionally I will buy them something as a special treat. It sounds draconian, and really mean, but it does work - they don't whinge and whine, even for sweets. For ref. they are 2 and nearly 4. The youngest took longer to learn, and occasionally still asks for sweets at the moment, but he gets a quick negative, and has stopped throwing a tantrum at that point.

Children are different, and what works for me may not work for you. I remember at home I never used to nag for anything, because I knew I would not get it. But my younger sisters used to whinge on and on for things, and they got them in the end too!

I've already posted this but it was taken down! What I said was, some children just want things out of curiosity really, rather than being greedy and bratty.

as regards sweets, never buy them whilst you are out, BUT keep a sweetie box at home with a selection in. The kids seem to learn pretty quick that they can have sweets, just not when they are out, and give up whinging after them. they do whinge after the sweetie box at home though (much easier to deal with). As regards toys etc., I found giving them pocket money really helps. If they want something, I tell them they can have it but only if the money comes out of their money box. If its too expensive, I tell them they have to save up. I was surprised at how early they seemed to take to this. Mine are now 5 & 3 but I have been doing it with the eldest for about 2 yrs now. It helps that she is chronically indecisive (like most kids) and so can't decide whether to spend her money on that new toy, or wait for the next best one which may be just around the corner. She also started this by saving up for a Barbie nightie (yes, Barbie again) which took her about 6 weeks, but we made sure that she maanaged to save enough money before she got bored by the whole idea. She's now really good at tidying up and helping with the housework! Hope some of these ideas help - I find the worst thing is going out with friends whose kids get everything when they whinge - nightmare!

Thanks - I think back to not buying anything sounds like the answer, but good idea to have stash at home. How much pocket money should you give a 3 year old? Sounds like a good idea.

We tend to give the 3 yr old 50p a week, and the 5 yr old 70p, but it does vary. the 3 yr old doesn't know her coins yet anyway, and so would much prefer a 50p to a pound coin (its bigger). We do let help do chores around the house to earn extra money though - e.g clearing ALL the toys up in the toyroom and lounge, so that ALL floor and carpet can be clearly seen earns a pound each, as opposed to the usual quick sweep at the end of the day, which they have to do anyway. The oldest will know voluntarily do chores when she is saving up for something and then look very hopeful as she proudly shows me the perfectly neat room - ah.
Just in case she sound like a paragon of virtue, it as not that long ago that I actually called her an ungrateful little brat as she had a tantrum of epic proportions because i hadn't bought her new tights to go with her new dress! Can't win 'em all.

we give 10p per year per week - up to secondary school age when they do need a bit more. so a 3 gets 30p and a 5 gets 50p; and they can choose to save it up (in my purse - you need to keep track or they suddenly tell you they haven't had anything for weeks and you can't remember! there goes another fiver!)
i agree that you should be as strict as you can but consistency is the main thing; if you give in once after 15 minutes of whining they'll whine at least that long next time...and it gets harder as you get older and you have more kids...i'm up to no 4 and compared with the older ones at his age he is spoilt rotten!

Thank you - will start pocket money when she's 3, in July.