dd (3) loves attention from other adults - doesn't want me when they're around

[Annabel1]

This might be a bit weird - but it eats away at me and I guess someone might be able to reassure me - or confirm my worst fears! dd is 3.5 and whenever I have a friend over or we go out with someone else, she wants them to take her to loo, play etc and not me. Will usually want me when it comes to falling over and being hurt. It upsets me but I think it might be cos I'm scared we won't be close when she's older (I'm not to my mum) or that I'm too strict and restrictive. DH thinks not so and that we have just raised her to be excited by seeing our friends. She has new brother (4 months)and I was completely protective of him when he was tiny and might have excluded her a bit - this is better now - and I was ill when pregnant so she did get looked after by others quite a lot. Also had two miscariages and fertility treatment to get pg in first place between her first and second birthdays and I wonder if I was more depressed and emotionally useless than i give myself credit for. She always wants me at bedtime or if she wakes in night. Sorry if I sound like a complete neurotic so and so - feel like one!

DD (2) is very shy with strangers but loves being with her father, who plays with her, give her sweets and doesn;t do the boring stuff like saying no or making her tidy up. She is adamant that she doesn;t want me about when they are having fun. When she is tired, ill or frightened she wants me. I think the situation sounds similar and that;s what children are like.

Congratulations on new ds and don't underestimate the after effects of mc's, the stress of fertility treatment and just having a small baby. On you, not just dd. That is [pssibly making things look very negative to you.