7 year old dd has started saying she is fat and hates her boobies

[MrsDoylesBoyle]

She isn't fat(infact she is very tall for her age) but she does have a bit of a tum and boob.
I am concerned as their is a history of eating disorders in the family and i am always on a diet of some sort.
Am i to blame?
Do 7 year olds become very body aware?
she has always hated the prospect of having breasts when she is older and used to cry about it.

.

I'd keep quiet about your diet, they do pick up on it. I'd preen around a bit saying how pleased you are with the way you look, how people come in all shapes and sizes, how powerful and wonderful you feel. Not sure how you'll slip that into conversation.

Then I'd do a lot of 'god, I could eat your bottom, it's so delicious, I want to kiss your feet all day long.'

she has been saying this sort of thing for a few days so i have been really praising her up and telling her how beautiful she is and i have always told her how people come in all shapes and sizes.I think that i must be to blame for always faffing about my appearance although i wasn't aware that i was doing it in her presence.

Tricky. Also not your fault, is probably totally normal, and just that she knows it'll happen and doesn't fully understand it, and it IS quite alarming perhaps to think you might grow norks and not know how or when or why? Perhaps try saying 'oh you won't mind when they come, and you don't just wake up one morning when they are there - it all happens slowly and it's all marvellous, and when you're old enough to have them, you really won't mind' - all cheery and confident.

My dd talks a lot about how she doesn't want to have a baby because it'll hurt and how awful it must be etc.

Am sure it's normal. If it were me, I'd do the 'I want to kiss your bottom' and 'you are delicious' over 'you are beautiful' but not sure why.

Have you checked she isn't being teased at school. I was an early developer and was teased quite badly for it.

I don't think a 7 year old girl should have "a bit of a tum and boob" - she is probably slightly overweight. The easiest way to solve her problem is to reduce her weight slightly - probably only 2-3 kg would do it.

Can you take her clothes shopping to buy her some things that make her feel special and fabulous?

Agree with Anna, actually.

7 is the age where most dc are on the skinny side, having lost the toddler chubbiness but not yet plumped up in preparation for the pre-teen growth spurt.

Being tall doesn't exclude being heavy, in any case. Have you looked at her relative position on the centile charts for height and weight? If she's on a higher centile for weight than for height, then it might be time to try and cut back a bit.

And I'm sorry, but being on a constant diet yourself is not going to help in encouraging a good body image for your dd. Could you both do some sport together regularly? Swimming always a popular option here.

I can totally see how you can be 7, not fat, and yet have a bit of tum and boob. My friend's 6.5 year old is like a rake, except that she just happens to have a round protuding tummy. We're just all different.

I'd also try and find out if anything has prompted it - school teasing, or maybe it just being the 'in' thing to complain of at school. I remember girls at school thinking it was cool to be anorexic (I know, dreadful!) and bragging to each other about how they never ate but they thought they were really fat. Of course they didn't mean a word of it, they were just showing off.

Sounds like you are doing well with the praising and watching what you say about yourself - keep up the good work.

sorry, but BonsoirA and Frogs, how can you say that without knowing the poor kid's height/weight? If her mum doesn't think she's over weight it's a bit heavy to say loose half a stone without knowing the facts imo.
OP what are her friend's like? - is she different maybe in looks from them because she's tall? Maybe she is being teased, or maybe she's just starting to be aware of being a bit different as she's taller.

• it does sound a bit unusual to have breasts at 7, so what do you think - are you sure she's not maybe a bit overweight, or is just natural body shape? I have no advice other than probably to listen to your daughter and not dismiss worries, but equally to be very positive about how she looks. A friend's daughter had similar worries at eight, so her mum found a couple of pics of girls with similar bodies and showed her - her daughter thought they looked great, then she said well that's what you look like. Seemed to work for her.

Frogs, you do say check on the centile things, so apologies I take it back Still though sounds a bit like you're both being a teeny bit preachy, after all op's already said she didn't think she was being diety and food/ appearance faffy in front of her daughter

Anna- one of the barely 7 yr olds at the school I teach at has some breast development- she is as thin as a rake, and tall, and is clearly just going to reach puberty earlier than some girls. Having breast development does not necessarily come with overweight.

Breast development ie puberty at 7 needs to be checked out by a GP anyway. But a "tummy" on a 7 year old is almost always going to be a sign of slight overweight.

According to The Patient, breast development in white girls is only considered worrisome if it occurs before age 7, and before age 6 in black girls.