How do i make my ds age 4 nicer??

[6inchnipples]

my ds age 4 is just not nice to be around 'most' of the time. He often says things to his little sister that sound horrible and aren't very encouraging, also does this to her friends and i find that embarrassing infront of their mums.

I've noticed that its a bit like that with him and older kids. He has a wee friend with an older brother and the older brother often says things to my ds like'your bike is so small and doesn't have any gears, mine has 8 gears' etc etc yet they play well together and seem happy in each others company.#

Is it normal for kids to do this? I often feel embarrassed that he says things that don't sound kind like 'why do you cry for everything' to my dd friend who is 2 but infront of her mum.

Yes it's normal - don't worry.

i always explain its not nice to say that and ask him to think before he speaks but its in one ear out the other.
thanks cornsilk

Sounds like he's possibly copying his friend's older bro. Maybe he feels hurt by the boy's comments and so is dealing with it in the only way he knows how? Is there some way you can discuss this with him?

And then at the end of the day I think cornsilk's probably right as well! Marslady said to me the other day: 'Do you have a 2-yr-old DS who's lovely and gentle? Well, just wait till he's 4!!!! Mwa hahahahrrr'.

I didn't thank her for that comment, but I'm just going to have to prepare myself in advance!

Ooooh, I know where you're coming from. I'm just looking through the behaviour questions as I'm about to seek advice on a not totally dissimilar problem with DD.

Unfortunately, I'm starting to think that it is normal. DS (2) and I dropped her off at school this morning. She was taking advantage of his presence to fuss him with the other girls, but then she said, "My brother smells of rotten eggs!" He didn't, I hasten to add. I told her that was a mean thing to say and that it's nice to be kind but I suppose it's just part and parcel of being 4...5...6?...7?....18? eek!

My DD is 4.8 and is one of the youngest in her year so I think she's picking some stuff up from older kids. But she recognises when the older kids are doing naughty stuff like hitting and hasn't (touch wood) copied yet! So some of it's just got to be down to her. She always says stuff like her 'x' is better than DS's, she's got more 'x' than DS. She's the best dancer in the class etc. It jarrs with me because we're very self-effacing and not competitive. I always correct her kindly - 'You're a lovely dancer but the other girls are lovely dancers too' but I suppose it's just kids.

Wish I had the answer!

wait a few years - maybe til about 30 My Ds is 5 - can totally sympathise.....