DS 4.6 Reluctant learner

[noonbear]

DS1 is 4.6 and attends nursery 2 full days a week and will start school in September. He is a bright boy, very articulate and curious, loves nature, animals and anything sporty.

In preparation for school I have been trying to get him to practice his letters, both recognising and writing them but he is just not interested (although he can write his own name, and happily does so). Today, of his own accord, he got his wipe board book and said he was going to have a go (this is in prep for writing his DH birthday next month). He wrote two D?s and gave up. I encourage him all I can but he just switches off and it not interested.
I just want to give him a good start at school. I am fairly certain that he will be interested and engaged once at school.

Should I be worried?

No, absolutely nothing to be worried about. Unless he shows interest, I would completely back off from getting him to write letters etc.

Play lots of listening games e.g. I spy, singing songs, nursery rhymes etc. if you want to.

Much better to encourage his language skills through his interest in nature, animals and sport, and to work on things like dressing/undressing, wiping own bottom, doing up coat etc.

thanks, that makes me feel so much better. He is really into numbers and has a very good grasp of arithmatic and as i say his spoken lauguage skills are excellent. He knows his own mind (which i appriciate is a good thing) but is sometimes reluctant to try and master new skills. I really engourage him and always praise his efforts.

I forgot to say that I am a primary school teacher and have taught in Reception for many years.

It's great that he enjoys numbers - give him lots of practical ways to use them e.g. paying for small items at the shops, counting out fruit and veg at the supermarkets, laying the table (how many more knives etc). Problem solving is great - we need 5 bowls but there's only 2 on the table, how many more do we need etc.

He will do lots and lots of phonic work when he starts at school (mixed in with lots of learning through play), so there really isn't anything formal that you need to do now.

thank you so much littlefish .

hay littlefish hearing you talk about reception what do you think of the new EYFS in wales the buzz new thing is foundation phase.

I presume this is the same EYFS that has been statutory in England since September 09. Forgive me if it's not.

If used properly, I think it's a really useful guidance. I think that the principles are sound e.g.

Partnership with parents
Following children's own interests
Emphasis on play/exploration/child led learning
Links between the different settings a child attends
Ongoing assessment informing subsequent learning opportunities
etc. etc.

Unfortunately, in some settings, it's being used far too literally as a "curriculum" and children are being taught the different "targets" in a chronological order.

What do you think of it?

Noonbear your DS sounds very like my DS2 - bright, articulate, knowledgable, they even have the same interests.

My DS started school last September (just before he was 5) and couldn't write a thing, could barely hold a pencil correctly but most importantly wasn't showing any signs of being interested. I didn't push it as I think children start school early enough these days and tbh, an early advantage in these things at 5 means nothing at 11 or 16.

However, since he started school he is doing really well. His pencil control is great, he is beginning to draw for fun which he never did before and he is forming letters and numbers well. I think when they have to do it, when it isn't something Mummy is trying to coax them to do they are a lot more willing. Especially those who know their own minds and what they will or won't do!

I didn't push it as I think children start school early enough these days and tbh, an early advantage in these things at 5 means nothing at 11 or 16. Backing off now and leaving it for school to guide the way won't do any harm.

One thing I would add to Littlefish's list is to cultivate an interest in books, not to teach them to read but to help ensure they see books and reading as fun and enjoyable. I'm not a teacher but this point was made by the nursery and the schools before my DSs started and I guess they find some parents just don't do as much reading with their children as they could. I am sure that you do that you do plenty already though.

Sorry - I meant that the EYFS has been statutory since September 08, not 09.

I also completely agree with Niecie about fostering a love of reading.

Thanks Niecie, its good to know i am not alone . I totally agree with what you say about what they can do at 5 having little bearing on how they are at 11 or 16 etc, I guess I worry that people will think i haven't bothered trying to teach him anything which is not the case at all, there seems to be so much pressure "my child does blah blah etc..."

DS1 has also started to draw a little bit for pleasure and I have a wonderful picture (in my eyes!) of a rainbow, raindrops and sunshine pinned up in the kitchen .

xx

I know what you are saying about the pressure to look like you are making an effort but I think you have to ignore them. You know what your DS can do and how bright he is and it doesn't really matter what anybody else thinks. It is difficult though.

Or you can just lie and tell everybody he is writing the first volume of his autobiography or something.

Actually, I wouldn't mind betting some of the other mothers these 'advanced' children are talking them up a bit.

And if he isn't drawing it all the time, it makes your rainbow and raindrops picture all the more special.

I agree totally that you shouldn't worry. Actually, thirty odd years ago my mum had the same dilemma and was worried about me not doing reading and stuff before school and not being keen to do it with her. I don't hold any of these things as measures of success in life, but I could read fluently by a term into school, have plenty of GCSEs, scattering of A levels, a degree and a post graduate qualification (now at home full time with two littlies but that's another discussion altogether!). So the dilemmas don't seem to change and I might be an example of why my mum should perhaps have been worrying about other stuff! Reading etc are very visible and obvious signs of some kind of achievement which might be why some people set such store by them coming early. Social skills and creativity are harder to measure (and I don't think we should be measuring them either!)Ooh - and another thing - my sister used to ask me for help with spelling when she was 16 and I was 8 and now she's the one who reads books for pleasure and remembers to write her (impeccably spelt!) thank you letters. Take the long view!