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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Does anyone else have/had a 'grumpy' baby?

18 replies

Ceebee74 · 22/02/2009 20:01

I don't like to label babies but my 13-week old's new nickname is 'cross patch'

Are some babies just naturally grumpy? There just seems to be no pleasing him most of the time - doesn't want to be held, doesn't want to be in his cot, doesn't want to be on his gym etc. We occasionally get a smile/giggle and there are times when he will lie quite happily on his gym kicking his legs and he LOVES the bath so is always really happy in there...but the rest of the time.....aaagh!

I also have a 2.7 year old so I can't spend all day trying to figure out what it is he wants! Plus I know this isn't what all babies are like as DS1 was a very happy smiley baby who rarely cried!

On the plus side, he sleeps like an absolute angel so I know I am very lucky.

If you had one of these babies, did they become 'grumpy' toddlers or do they grow out of it?

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giantkatestacks · 22/02/2009 20:07

My ds (now 5) was very grumpy indeed - I still dont know whether it was something I did feeding-wise or whether he would have been grumpy whatever I did.

Anyway he improved a lot when weaned and again when walking and was a really easy toddler and now child - though I did go down an ignoring tantrums route from the very beginning iyswim. I think we literally had about 5 in all.

He slept/sleeps like an angel as well from about 7 months onwards and rarely wakes up in the night even when ill.

fruitshootsandheaves · 22/02/2009 20:09

I had one. He cried continuously as a baby and then moaned when a toddler. However he changed at 4 when he started school.
Everyone commented on how lovely and happy he was at school I was convinced they were thinking of someone else!
Hopefully your baby is just going through a discontented stage and won't be like my ds!

Meglet · 22/02/2009 20:11

My DS was a nightmare until about 7 months. I had to carry him all the time or else he cried the house down and he hated all his toys. Even my friends were traumatised by it . However he did sleep well at night (so bloomin' exhausted I reckon) and he is now a fantastic toddler and big brother. So all is forgiven.

OlderNotWiser · 22/02/2009 20:13

DS1 was like that (DS2 an angel, so like you I now know not all babies are like it!). He got happier every time he hit a milestone ie when he sat up, when he crawled, and especially so when he walked - no looking back then! I always felt he didnt like the limitations of being a baby and I am now convinced some babies are like this...just want to be able to do things. He is still quite a sensitive soul mind (he is 3) but nothing, nothing like the angst ridden infant he was.

Mine didnt sleep either tho so small mercies I guess!

Im sure he will chill as he gets older and knows what he wants. Good luck!

Blissed · 22/02/2009 20:14

Thought it was just us! - Grump, grump ad infinitum - heavens he was a miserable bugger. He is now 7 and he has thankfully outgrown the miserable thing. He is now a lovely, cheerful, happy boy. I think it just "happened". Also his sister (2 yrs younger) is now a miserable bugger, so we think it is just some horrid "thing" that one has to endure.

preggersplayspop · 22/02/2009 20:14

My DS was a bit grumpy and very strongwilled! He's a very happy toddler now (most of the time), I always say he didn't like being a baby - every milestone that he developed to he seemed to get happier as he was more mobile and independent.

I read the Sears & Sears Fussy Baby Book which was pretty interesting and I found very relevant to my son.

Original poster

Ceebee74 · 22/02/2009 20:43

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone and that it does get better - it is such a shock after DS1! However DS1 is making up for it by being a 'challenging' toddler so hopefully DS2 will go the other way.

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Travellerintime · 22/02/2009 21:42

Ds (now 14 months) was very much a grumpy baby, and like you this was strange for us, as we had had dd who was very smiley, and sociable from about 12 weeks (although a terrible sleeper, so you can't have everything).

With ds, the grumpiness has eventually subsided. 5 months seemed to be a big turning point - I think being able to sit up and look around at the world helped. He always hated lying on his back, and being a wee baby, there was a lot of this going on. So no, I'd say it doesn't necessarily mean you'll have a grumpy older baby/toddler. Ds is still quite serious, but also much happier and smilier.

Babyisaac · 23/02/2009 09:18

Ceebee74, I can TOTALLY relate! DS (now 13 months) was an awful baby, there's no nice way of putting it. He cried day in day out from 3 days old and it didn't really stop until he was 10 months. Nothing would make him happy and believe me, we tried everything! He fought sleep during the day too, which didn't help. He didn't sleep through until he was 8 months. Weaning was a nightmare. We waited month after month for his behaviour to change, got various tests done at the doctors but it was all behaviour-related. Some babies are just like that. For my DS I would definitely say it was frustration and boredom. He always wanted to do more than he was capable and consequently screamed unless he was carried, which we pretty much did for the best part of his first year. The baby bjorn was invaluable. I think he had quite a reputation with my other mum friends and put a lot of strain on the relationship with my DH.

On a positive side, he is now delightful and that was down to (I think) being able to understand more and being able to move a bit. He took his first steps at 11.5 months but never crawled, so got even more frustrated!! We always thought he was clever but are now amazed at his range of vocab already, his ability to understand so much etc. He is generally very happy most of the time. He is very very strong-willed so will tantrum and scream if not happy, but that's what you get with strong personalities. If yours is like that, it will bode well for the future. I think DS is just very determined and frustrated and will let you know that he's not best pleased. Hang on in there, it will be tough, you will tear your hair out but it will end and there is light at the end of the tunnel!

ohdearwhatamess · 23/02/2009 09:35

Ds1 (now 2.9) was a very grumpy baby for the first 12 months. He screamed pretty much non-stop for the first 10-12 weeks. He had reflux and has dairy intolerance (didn't realise at that stage), so I wonder if some of it was down to feeling uncomfortable or even pained.

He has broadly grown out of it, but still has his moments if he's tired or feeling unwell, but don't we all.

Ds2 (now 12 months) has been much less grumpy, although he's starting to show a very feisty side now.

throckenholt · 23/02/2009 09:41

in my experience "grumpy" babies are usually overtired babies. Overtired often means overstimulated too.

With babies the 2 hour awake rule is a good one - any longer than that and they get overtired and can't get to sleep easily making the whole thing worse.

Somehow they often seem to sleep well at night so you think they can't be tired - but they are not getting enough during the day.

Original poster

Ceebee74 · 23/02/2009 20:58

Thanks for all the responses. I am fairly sure he is not 'ill' in terms of reflux etc as he doesn't scream at all - it is just constant whinging/moaning which, strangely enough, disappears when out in public or when someone else shows him some attention Am starting to think that it is either boredom (in a 3-month old??) or just that I can't give him the attention he wants due to DS1.

As for the over-tiredness - it could be that but he literally does sleep very deeply for 12 hours a night uninterrupted. Daytime naps are a bit hit and miss though - he is struggling to stay asleep for more than 30-45 minutes at a time which may be an issue (but I wasn't bothered as he still sleeps so well at night).

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bessmum · 23/02/2009 22:27

We are always calling our 14 week old DS "grumpy" but agree with throckenholt and he's been happier now we've worked out he needs loads of sleep day and night. Interesting too that pretty much every poster comments on their grumpy baby boy - are boys more difficult babies or is this an urban myth?

CantSleepWontSleep · 23/02/2009 22:31

Dd was miserable as sin until 16 weeks, when we realised that she was milk intolerant and thus in constant pain.

She's always been a demanding toddler, but I wouldn't describe her as grumpy, no.

throckenholt · 24/02/2009 06:37

I think at that age - regardless of how well they sleep at night - they pretty much need to be asleep about half of the day as well.

Waking up after 45 mins is something to do with sleep patterns - and if you can get them past that then they often sleep for around 2 hours.

DS1 - I knew none of this and I called him the incredible non-sleeping baby - could be awake for 10 hours at a stretch during the day - thankfully he did sleep at night - but nearly drove me mental during the day - because he was so grumpy. When I finally managed to crack the daytime sleeping (ie getting to sleep before overtired) it was so much better. And with DS2 & 3 they were fine - unless they got overtired and then they were awful and could scream for an hour before finally going to sleep (again good at sleeping at night generally).

The problem is it is not so easy to manage the two hour pattern if you have older children to cope with too.

meandjoe · 24/02/2009 08:25

yep. can't count the threads i started on here about my ds. he screamed and grizzled all day, every day. had to be carried, never played or laid contentedly. just like angel 1976 (in fact we had a support group going on here for people with babies like ours!).

was a nightmare, it's so much better now at 18 months. as soon as he was crawling at 9 months he did cheer up but when he started walking at 11.5 months he changed dramatically. he is still high maintainence in many ways, he seems very intense and feels things very accutely so the slightest bit of illness or teething and he is bloody awful again but on the whole he is lovely. he is very interested in everything and very inquisitive so i can see why being a young baby frustrated him so much.

some personality types just don't make good babies but it does get easier! xxxx

throckenholt · 24/02/2009 12:42

I also noticed all 3 of mine got very grumpy just before the next milestone - so just before rolling, sitting, crawling, walking, and probably talking well too.

Tamlin1976 · 01/10/2010 11:35

Oh my goodness, I'm so relieved to find your postings after searching "grumpy babies" on the internet.

It feels so good to know that I'm not alone and there are other moms out there struggling. I woke up this morning feeling lowest of low, as my DS2 is just such a lot of hard work, and I'm so exhausted. He is 2.5 months old, and grumpy. I dread bath time, changing his clothes or putting him in the car. I'm so sensitive to his crying, it drives me absolutely nuts. I'm sure everyone else just thinks I'm over the top, but truly, his grumping is so tiring. I'm not able to put him down, no matter what kind of colourful toys are on his transat/playmat/car seat. Often times he is just rigid in my arms, and there are times when I feel even I can't calm him down. Having said that - of course I adore him, but at the moment my greatest wish is for him to grow up...and quickly. If I dare say that to other people, I just get looked at like I'm crazy. Mom's are not supposed to admit they are simply not enjoying their baby. DS1 was a bit the same, but I seem to remember this grumpy phase passing more quickly.

Thanks so much for your postings, its been a long time since I've laughed out loud, its so good to know there are other Moms out there experiencing the same thing.

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