3 year old ds 'I don't want you to have....'

[Thrifty]

ds can be soo sweet and good, but just lately he says 'i dont want you to have ...' whatever. it so mean. he told dp yesterday 'I don't want you to have a nana', he says, 'I don't want Daddy to have a Birthday,I want to spoil it for him!'. He is saying it loads and its really driving me mad and making me very cross.

I know its probably just another phase sent to try our patience, but its just so mean sounding.

How do we handle it properly? earlier he said he didn't want Daddy to have the train candle holder on his birthday cake, so i lost with him and threw the candle holder back in the cupboard and told him to go away and stop being so mean. He cried as he left the room, but it was only for show as he stopped as he went into the living room.

any advice welcome.

you say "Tough" and "Stop it now. That's mean" and you walk away from him because he's doing it for the attention. And every time he does it you do the same thing, walk away from him or send him away.

well he's picked it up from somewhere ;-).

He's only 3, don't think he really knows the meaning of what he's saying does he? (mine used to say 'when daddy dies, we can get a cat' as dh is allergic to cats lol).

The more you react, the more he'll do it I'm guessing.

What do you think he's trying to say?

Maybe he's doing it for the reaction?

Have you tried ignoring such remarks? And priming DP to do the same? (and anyone else who spends much time with him). So he says "I don't want Daddy to have the train candle holder" you say "shall we use blue or green icing?"... he will no doubt repeat himself/worse but you just keep unresponsive, don't bite, and if he's really not getting it, walk away. I use this tactic quite a lot with DS (2.8) who says things like "I want to push you", and I'll say something like "can you pass me the yellow car?" or stand up and walk away...

perhaps you just need to say "oh, you'd like to have it all to yourself" (or nanna, or the train candle holder) in a matter of fact way and then carry on regardless. Perhaps he is just expressing his feelings because he hasn't learnt not to IYSWIM?

just stay calm, no big reaction, and say something like "well i want daddy to have the train candle because it would make him happy, so we are going to put it on the cake"

don't set much store by it - he's just being daft and it will pass much quicker imo if you don't make a big showdown out of it

eyeeye, thats kinda what Ive been doing sometimes though its just makes me sooo cross at him, it is worse when I'm busy.

foxinsocks - yes, I know he's probably got from me .

lol

I tell you what, it's around that age where you really earn your Parenthood Certificate of Patience. It really is!

Weegle - yes, I think its for attention/reaction now.
cargirl - yes, i also think thats right about him expressing his feelings.
its hard to think like a 3 year old. maybe he's really saying 'I don't want you to have xyz because its taking the attention away from me and I'm the centre of the universe'
Franny - also agree about not making a big thing of it.
I hope it passes soon...

good luck thrifty, hope it's a shortlived phase

thanks foxinsocks me too.