If they are reluctant to do homework and then do a crappy job, then ask....

[fartmeistergeneral]

if you think it's good. What do you say?

My son is 10 and rubbish at doing homework. I know he's not alone cos I've posted this before! I've taken a total backseat the last couple of times and let him do it himself with mixed results. He had a creative thing to do and left it til the last minute, cobbled something together and asked if I thought it was good. I said no, not really, he could have made more of an effort and produced something better, and wondered if that was the right thing to say?

This week's homework is for Monday and it's creative again. He's not done it and is going out this afternoon and we are away all day tomorrow (which I have reminded him about a couple of times). He'll do it on Sunday night and it will be crap. He's bound to ask again if I think it's good. How will I play it???

Ask him what he thinks of it. 'Is is your best work? Will your teacher think its your best work?'

TBH I don't think telling hik its no good will make any difference, he's got to see for himself its not his best.

If it makes you feel any better, my dd(13) is a real last minuter as well, which drives me NUTS, as she's a clever girl and could do so much better if she just planned things better. Even at parents evenings all her teachers say her HW lets her down.

OR you could plan some time in to tackle it together, at least the planning stages so he's got a better idea of whats expected of him.

tell him the truth. ask him if he thinks he could have done better. he needs to start learning about not leaving things to the last minute.
get into a habit of doing a set period of homework time each night if you can. let him know that it needs to be done and not left to the last minute, and that you are here to help if needs be. he only has to ask.

One reason I've backed off is that the two of us sitting down together to do his homework has resulted in his tears...and my tears!

He's a bright lad in all the top groups and can be quite creative at home making his own cartoons/comics etc. But homework is a different story.

I just wondered if saying 'no that's not very good' is the best thing to say. I agree that he must know it's not very good, but that last time he said I was being nasty for saying that!!!! Not that I felt bothered by that, cos I knew he was feeling a bit bad for producing something so lame!

Charlotte, perhaps you are right. Perhaps I should say homework time from 4-5 on a Wednesday when I will be around to help - and if he doesn't do it (which is likely) then he's on his own??

I think 4-5 is a good time. In from school, quick snack, changed, settled down for homework.
At age 10 he should start to be developing the time management skills needed for prioritisation.
Just make sure he doesn't see it as "i'll get it done quick, so I can do fun stuff" so then he doesn't do it properly again!! Make sure he understands it has got to be properly, as well as in good time!

Fartmeistergeneral - in order to preserve his self-esteem I would say a couple of good things about it first "I like the way you've added in the little figure here", then maybe a little target for improvement "I think you could have made this part a bit neater if you'd spent a bit more time on it."

Having said all that, before you're too hard on him I would ask yourself:
What is he learning through this project?
What is the benefit of it?
Will his efforts/lack of them be noticed by the teacher?

Many primary teachers only set homework because of parental pressure anyway.

There can be a lot of benefit to this sort of thing, but it is largely in the 'process' rather than the result. So it's good:
if he is learning to get his ideas together
if he is slowly realising that starting his project earlier rather than later he gets a better result
if he is getting himself organised and planning his work
if he's finding the materials he needs to complete his project

I don't think the end result is the most important thing tbh.

IMHO homework isn't that important anyway. And teachers will always know which children did their own homework and which children had 'help'. My DD is in her first year of high school and had to make a model of a castle a couple of weeks ago. She normally leaves things to the last minute but this one was planned a bit, she collected boxes and paint and made a huge mess in the conservetory and was pleased with her effort. I thought it looked pretty good too. But after she had taken it in she was a bit down because some of the others had taken in proper wooden castles with little plastic figures and the whole works. Obviously done by the parents.Why would they do that?

I agree with roisin. You can also point out that it's what his teacher thinks about it that matters in any case and ask him what he thinks her view of it might be.

I always hated when mine had to do that sort of homework. We have two castles at home now - what am I supposed to do with them? Do you think there's a market for second hand castles on e-bay?

I agree with roisin.

Thanks for your replies. Am not a fan of homework either.

Lol at the castle homework!! And I get VERY pissed off when it's obvious a parent has done homework! What is the point in that? It's laughable, and you're right, the teacher will spot parental help a mile off. I remember when ds1 was in P1, a child from another P1 class passed us standing outside the classroom, and her dad was with her carrying this HUGE contraption, can't remember what it was now, but almost some kind of engineering. He had obviously done the majority of it himself, and his daughter was skipping ahead oblivious to it all, not giving a half shit about it - and he was basking in the glory of his own creation. Strolling past all the mums with his head held high! Snort!!!

lol at some parents!
I work with pre-school and younger and we recently had a colouring competition for charity and you would have been amazed at how many entries the parents had done and not let their children anywhere near it! I can tell the difference between a 2 year old's effort and an adult's