terrible twos getting to me...need help/methods/techniques/thereapy

[livysmum]

hey mums.
DD is 2.5 and is using her sweet little voice to squeel no when she wants something or has to go for a nap or doesnt get her way.

ALSO the constant whining mixed with crying. when something doesnt go her way it seems she just sobs and crys forever. I guess she just realllly over reacts and is very dramatic. HOW DO I PUT AN END TO THIS.

Does whining warrent a naughty step? and at 2.5 will she get it? What if she crys even more by putting her on a naughty step.. how would I even get the message across or end the tantrum

Help moms!
Advice needed

How do you put an end to it? You wait Sorry, but you just have to wait until she grows out of it, and in the meantime continue to tell her that it's not on, and give her lots of cuddles. 2yos don't know how to deal with their emotions and need your bodily reaction to them to help them learn how to do that. They just can't calm down without your help and ignoring it will mean she will find it harder to control her emotions when she's older.

Try reading The Science of Parenting by Margot SUnderland or Why Love Matters by Sue Gerhardt.

Nothing IMO warrants the naughty step, but definitely, absolutely not whining - otherwise, if she's normal, she'll spend her whole life on it! Toddlers/preschoolers whine - that's a fact of life - sorry!

Just cuddle her and wait for her to grow out of them! Distract her. Avoid situations where she's likely to have one. Notice the warning signs and leap in before she starts melting down.

Hay first can I just say dont worry it a fase hard when you are living with it.

For me the calming down spot (naghty step) should be used only if she hits kicks and is violent.

Praise her when she is good, that is key thing, I think.

I tend to walk away and ignore, hard I know but just be busy in the kitchen ect, eventually she will get board or forget why she is upset.

If you can see that she may soon start with the crying distact her, with a toy or a game or simply get her to help you.

Whatever you are trying to distracter her with make it sound soooooo exciting to her even if she looks a bit reluctent keep with it.

Hope it helps dont dispare

Have you read Taming Toddlers? In summary: Totally ignore her and super praise her as much as you can!

Whinng really does grind you down. Try changing the environment briefly. I get mine outside when they get like that. To the park, for a walk or ride around the block in the buggy. Whining is never as bad in an outside space. I have also been known to put them in the car and go for a drive.

Not a definitive solution but if I had that I would be a very rich mummy with a very peaceful house! Good luck.

"...ignoring it will mean she will find it harder to control her emotions when she's older".

I would like to know what that fact is based on!?

I think ignoring tantrums is a tried and tested strategy, judging from posts on MN alone! Some children will accept being held or 'talked down' but clearly many need their anger not to be fed with any outside stimulus at all...

My personal view is that you don't put an end to tantrums once they've started particularly, or not in my experience anyway - but avoiding them is of course the best way. Think ahead, pre-empt, distract, etc etc - and avoid confrontation where possible, and make sure you're always aware if they're becoming tired or hungry.

As Leo says, not all children can be cuddled out of a tantrum.

my ds is like this somedays.....just turned two, but went through a really whiney stage. I thought "well I would walk away from an adult if they did that" so I walked away from him. Didi it for a week( i prasie him constantly anyway)but went mad with overcompansating his good behaviour...whiney stopped after 2 weeks, as he preferred my attention rather than me walking away. I feel engaging this behaviour can reinforce it and make it hard for them to stop doing it.

Hi this is a new post for me. I have been posting on health page, but feel some of my ranting belongs on here.....? My little one be three in April and I am having terrible trouble. Very over powering, demanding, violent out bursts, attention seeking all the time, constantly hungry, won't listen to what I ask, runs off if we go for walks won't hold hands the list goes on.......poor sleeper? I am at my wits end and just keep being told typical toddler it will pass but it's making me ill! Got health visitor visiting this pm I hope she can help! does any one else have a little one like this and if so how do you cope!!!!!

leting your child know their limit and yours is key the children I work with know what my limit is and they genrally do not cross it.

similar thing with my 2year 9 month old, constant battles, but its just their age and will pass. just take deep breaths and really enjoy the good bits.

my little girl contanstly asks for food when she's tired, i used to think she was starving and would be cross when she messed about with it.now i just explain that shes confused and wouls she like a cuddle instead, she normally falls asleep then.

we also have a naughty corner which is only used for very bad stuff kicking, biting etc...
but we have a simmer down step for tantrums and whinging, the step has a small shoebox of toys on it and she soon stops and just quitely plays on the step, she can then leave at any time.
hope some of this helps.

I found a good one, heard another mother doing it on a plane and copied it, it worked. if DS (2.4) asks in a whingy voice I say 'mummy can't understand when you talk in the whingy voice, and I repeat what he's asked in a nice voice, say he's going 'Want raisins! Want raisins! in a whingy way, I say, 'ask mummy nicely, say 'can I have some raisins please mummy?' If he asks nicely he gets it. This really works for me at the moment and we make a kind of joke out of it.

I find it hard not to snap with the refusing to do things etc, I try to make it fun somehow or give him a motivation to do it, like 'let's get into the bath because then we can put on your scary monster dressing gown and go and frighten Daddy or whatever;. doesn't always work but works a lot better than getting cross and shouting (which I do as well sometimes )

good luck. it's not easy!

My 2yr 6m old daughter is also destroying my nerves with whingeing. I'm thinking of nicking some ideas from cosmicangel, who sounds like an angel indeed.

Anyway, today's particular problem is defiance: does anyone have any advice or words of consolation about dealing with this? She doesn't care how much trouble she gets into, but WILL NOT do anything she doesn't want to. No sanction is a sufficient deterrent. If she doesn't want to put three things away so that they aren't a massive safety hazard, then she ain't doing it. Apparently there is no threat (now acted upon) great enougth to justify her taking the ten seconds this task would require.

Being lurking with interest. DD rather whiny lately. Recent conversations:
-I WANT MILK
-Well if you ask nicely I might get it for you
-with sweet smile Please Mummy can I have some milk...or I'll pull your head off!