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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Please help DH and I deal with and cope with our 15mo DD's tantrums.

13 replies

insertwittynicknameHERE · 20/02/2009 17:16

DD is 15mo now and for the last couple of months or so has been really whiny and tantrums at the most smallest of things.

I know it is a natural part of growing up and to be completely truthful I didn't expect it so early

We have had some success with her WRT to her hitting and biting which she started at about 12mo ish. She does understand what no means, she really doesn't like it and that is when the tantrums and whining starts.

I know it is normal of her, but DH and I need some tips to be able to cope. Other than buying some ear plugs we don't know what else to do.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mungarra · 20/02/2009 17:44

What's WRT?

SweetCheeksLovesSweetTalk · 20/02/2009 17:45

With Regard To

Original poster

insertwittynicknameHERE · 20/02/2009 17:57

To clarify, do we ignore the tantrum (as long as she is safe) or do we try to do something to bring her out of the tantrum.

OP posts:

becka1 · 20/02/2009 18:19

I would distract her with something else, maybe keep a set of toys she doesn't see very often somewhere hidden and bring one out in this situation, I have a 19 month DD so this is where my advice comes from1!!

Original poster

insertwittynicknameHERE · 20/02/2009 18:22

Thank you, good idea about toys she doesn't see very often. I will try that.

OP posts:

Leo9 · 20/02/2009 19:09

I think one really important thing to remember with tantrums is that once she is in full 'swing', it is HER tantrum and you can't actually stop her or bring her out of it, only she can do that if my experience with DS is anything to go by!

I think remembering that really helps you to keep calm because you are not desperately trying to think at 100 miles an hour what you can do to stop it...

with DS I sometimes gave him a sympathetic look and told him I was really sorry he was feeling so awful. I don't know if it helped but it didn't hurt! Then I would just ignore him. With DS I found that once he was in full tantrum mode, any distraction techniques or any input from me at all, just fed his anger, so I learned to ignore completely.

And IMO it's really, really important just to move straight on afterwards, don't hold a grudge with them, and don't go over their behaviour afterwards, just change the mood

HTH

SweetCheeksLovesSweetTalk · 20/02/2009 19:13

Leo that is a really helpful post. DD hasnt started having tantrums yet but I'm going to have to remember that for when she does

poshsinglemum · 20/02/2009 19:20

Take heart- My dd is 7.5 months old and is ALREADY having tantrums. Yes- really- 7.5 months! Today I took a hairbrush away from her and she threw a wobbly. I find it hilarious atm. I'm a bit worried that this is a sign of things to come.

Original poster

insertwittynicknameHERE · 20/02/2009 19:22

That is what we have been doing leo and I was worried we were doing it wrong DD is our first and I never expected tantrums until she was 2 ish, not 15mo lol.
Her tantrums don't go on too long, but I have found that if I try to do anything when she is in full on tantrum mode then it just makes her worse. So that is the reason I/we have been ignoring it and just letting her get it out of her system IYSWIM. I was worried that we were doing her some untold emotional damage by ignoring her [PFB emoticon]

OP posts:

poshsinglemum · 20/02/2009 19:23

sorry to hijack. distraction is probably effective.

Original poster

insertwittynicknameHERE · 20/02/2009 19:24

aw no poshsinglemum, never know she may get it out of her system early

OP posts:

LauraKiora · 20/02/2009 19:34

'witty' - personally i think ignoring works best. Got 2 toddler boys so we've had fair share of tantrums. Depends how far into it they are - at early stages of tantrum (furrowed brow & trembly bottom lip) i can usually get away with an 'wow look at that pretty cloud / cat / there's your teddy' etc etc. Any further into the tantrum than that and i make sure they're in a safe place, keep an eye on them and let them get on with it. We cuddle afterwards and talk very briefly about how they felt cross and now feel better. My 3 year old is now far more advanced than his peers in recognising his emotions and controlling the behaviour this might cause coz he's had a chance to experience it without me trying to 'snap him out of it'.

Sawyer64 · 20/02/2009 19:36

Agree it is Distraction that works best,and "Don't sweat the small stuff" ie. if it isn't dangerous,try not to worry too much.

I was always advised that DC's are more likely to have a tantrum when they are tired or hungry,just their way of saying "I'm really getting stressed and I can't deal with it anymore"

Avoid "confrontations" at Mealtimes and Bedtimes.

Don't give in over sweets/toys/treats etc. because although she is very young,you'd be surprised how quickly they catch on that this screaming etc. works

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