how can I persuade ds (12mo) to hold his own food/spoon/cup?

[MamaChris]

until recently, ds (12mo) would finger feed, pick up and drink from his own cup, hold a pre-loaded spoon, and even try and load his own spoon (with mixed success). recently, he's been asking us to feed him more and more. We have to lift the cup to his mouth, put finger food in his hand, and if we hand him a spoon he just cries and hands it back.

he has also started to get upset with "bits" on his hand - dirt, or weetabix, or something. he will hold it away from him, look at us and cry till we pick off the offending speck.

does he not want his independence? he seems to be going backwards! how can I encourage him to take some control over his own food again?

he is only a baby - he will get there in his own time

My DS couldn't successfully feed himself at this age

just relax and he will get there

He is too young to be feeding himself properly. My DC were certainly not at that age. If he was doing it before, then great. He will manage it again.

A lot of DC go through a "ick" phase of not liking to get dirty. They grow out of that too. Don't worry.

DS2 went through this too funnily enough. We just went with the flow, helped him a bit but still encouraged him to help himself. Several months on he's happy either way now. Sometimes he's lazy, other times he'll happily stuff his own mouth

The not liking 'bits' on his hands part, I'd encourage some 'mucky' play - sand pit, bits of paper/polystyrene in a bowl, bubbly water, hand painting, play doh (or pastry), squidgy food play (no pressure to eat just to fiddle with). Anything to make it fun to be mucky. Also, sounds disgusting, but if you can lick the food off his hands and say yum or something he'll see its just food...might help

BTW it is possible for babes to feed themselves successfully at 12 months, ds2 was doing so from about 7 months, all except his bottle - tis called baby led weaning

Pheebe
I am sure it is possible, but should not be expected of a 12mth old.

I don't expect him to feed himself it's just that he used to do this and now won't. we're going with the flow, trying to hand him a spoon/food/cup at mealtimes but also feeding him ourselves and not making a big deal out of it. I just wondered why he'd stopped.

will try and introduce some mucky play. so far he will point at playdoh, but not touch it. thanks.

Ds2 (14mo) will feed himself - but not using an implement. And he will hold his juice beaker, but not if it has milk in it - then mummy needs to hold it.

Ds1 hates getting food on himself - he is 4 and insists on a bib at breakfast time. No problems getting covered in mud, but not food. He also likes all his food separate (peas fine, sweetcorn fine, peas&sweetcorn mixed = disaster). And dry. No gravy please. So while your ds will grow out of it, don't hold your breath!

Chill out for the time being, go with the flow. When he is a bit older, try saying "yes I will feed you - but I am going to eat all of my meal first". That worked on dd.

Sorry, just read your last post. He may have stopped because the novelty has worn off - its not fun independence any more, its work. Perhaps he has worked out that he could get you to do it for him?

It's just a phase ...

Why not mmelindt? They are babies not morons! Most babes could if given the opportunity

What I meant was that if a child is holding a spoon and feeding himself at 12 months, then great. But if he is not doing this then it is not a problem.

I was quite happy to give my DC a spoon and let them mash about with it but I did not EXPECT them to use it properly. I can't actually remember what age they were when they started feeding themselves.

Ahh I see. Actually ds2 has never yet used a spoon, he waves it around and taps things with it. He eats everything with his hands which sounds awful but actually he's really quite neat and tidy about it (and of course we're a bit selective in what we give him).