13mo DS refusing to eat and wakes up at 3am hungry

[Babyisaac]

This has been going on for weeks and weeks and getting steadily worse. Food seems to just be a chore. It doesn't matter whether it is finger food or from a spoon. He doesn't even eat for his childminder. Tea time is the worst. He eats literally nothing. I don't make an issue of it (even though I'm soooooo bloody frustrated), don't pander to him and he ends up having nothing and going to bed on just some milk.

This wouldn't necessarily be an issue if it wasn't for the fact that he wakes up at 3am every morning screaming for milk. He refuses water. I'm still bf and he refuses milk from a cup. It is doubly difficult when my dh is working nights as DS knows exactly what he can get from me.

My HV says persist with the water in the night and he'll soon learn. I'm not sure whether a 13 month old baby knows that, if he doesn't eat his tea then he won't get milk in the night!!! Sometimes he is teething, sometimes he isn't, doesn't seem to make a difference, he just isn't interested in food. It doesn't matter what food it is, I've tried everything and spent a fortune but won't do it anymore until he starts eating SOMETHING again.

Any suggestions? He didn't sleep through until he was 8 months so we really aren't keen to go back to those days again.

Was there anything that happened or DS ate before not eating again?
Do you eat your meals with him? Does he seem at all interested whilst watching you eat?

Could you give Breast Milk in a bottle instead so that the milk is what he is use to but a bottle instead.

Has anyone else tried to force him into eating? Is it that he's afraid of it hurting or something?

Have you tried playing games with food at non meal times. Anything that can be squidgy and poked at. Dips, sauces, ice cream, porridge. Flapjacks that crumble if you rub them in your hands. Perhaps playing with the food he might lick his hands and start again a bit.

Do things that are silly like ask him to put ice cream on your nose or do it your self and make him laugh and point at it, then rub it off.

No sleep is horrible and very difficult but it will get better, somehow.

I can't think of anything else to suggest and i'm sorry if you've already tried it. What does the Doctor say? Our HV was a bit useless so always bypassed her.

Does he have any food that he will eat? I would just give him that until this phase passes. DS lived on cheesy pesto pasta for ages cos that's all he would eat.

The only things he will eat are muesli and yogurt. I've heard horror stories of 4 year olds who only eat jam sandwiches cos that's all they wanted so that's what they got. I'm just worried of the signals I'll give out if I just give him things he likes, i.e. sweet things.

it doesn't have to be sweet stuff. will he eat plain yogurt and no added sugar or salt muesli?

Would he eat different flavoured yoghurt and you could make your muesli with added extras... different fruit, cereals added in.

You could make your own yoghurt and add things to that to. At least it would vary it.

I don't think it'll hurt as long as it isn't with added sugar and salt as nappyaddict says.

Perhaps you could give him stuff to mix and play with whilst you make dinner and he might just like the no stress to eat type thing.

are you sure its not teething? my Ds sprouted 4 molars at once for christmas and hw was 14mo. he did not like eating at that time and I had to work at getting him to do it again. Now he will eat anything as long as its got pasta sauce on it. I do find distraction works well at meal time and I know the words verbatim to most episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine. but at least he is eating a good dinner.

Moocowme, he has been teething some of the time. One of his molars cut through recently. I think it could have started out as teething and now we're on a bad track where it has become a battle. Don't want to force the issue but nor do I like him going to bed on an empty stomach. I guess I'll just have to ride it out.

Not sure what to do about the night waking though. Very difficult not to give him milk when he's starving. It does feel like regressing though and starting a bad habit.

Am not overly worried about the sugar and salt issue (everything I make is very healthy), I'm just worried about giving him the same food all the time and no savoury food and then find that it's all he'll ever eat until he's 18!!!

I would say muesli is savoury so don't worry that he is only getting sweet stuff and plain yogurt isn't very sweet at all anyway.

Does he likes eggs or cheese? That was another of DS' foods when he would hardly eat anything. scrambled egg with cheese mixed in.

Our 15month old has been like your little one for months now. We are seeing a dietition on Monday. The only thing that has helped us is to offer very milky cereal, let him pick all day and to not in anyway draw attention to things. We added a 10pm milk feed so we didn't have to get up at 3am.

I really feel for you! Our DS has no reason to refuse food but he is! He now only has milk AFTER breakfast and then nothing until bed in the hope it will make him more hungry but its not working!

Tryingtobemarypoppins - have you tried cutting out all his milk feeds and just including milk in things like porridge, cereal, pasta sauce, mince meat, mashed potato, sauce on veggies and adding cheese to everything for calcium.

We are sort of going through this with DS at the moment. When he was poorly we told him he didn't have to eat as long as he had his milk cos that would help feed him. Now he's getting better he seems to think he still only has to have his milk so we cut all milk drinks out until he started eating again.

I really sympathise. My 22 month old DS is not a great eater. He will pick at his favourite foods but never really tucks in. I can sometimes feed him mouthfuls while he is distracted by CBeebies but often he isn't having any of it whatever I do. I wouldn't mind if he slept well but he quite often wakes at night for milk (though not every night).

I was getting very stressed but am trying to relax as I realise you can't make a child eat. I don't think he makes any connection between not eating in the day and being hungry at night - it's all about what he wants right at that moment.

The other day when he refused to touch his food I got him out of his highchair and said "no tea" and he just said "no tea" then went to play with his toys. He's just not that fussed about eating (doesn't take after me!)

Although it is tempting I am not just offering what he likes as I want to keep offering variety and getting him used to being presented with different food even if he won't eat it! But I do try to make tea a meal which I think he will like, and am more experimental with lunch.

You never know, they might suddenly become great eaters one day!

DS just did this at 13 months. Refused absolutely everything except yoghurts and those organix crisp things. I did try and hold out for as long as possible, but then gave in and filled him up with yoghurt (still not sleeping through the night and wanted to tackle one thing at the time IYSWIM).

One month on and he's now back to eating normal savoury food - he even ate a slice of apple the other day, absolutely unheard of for him.

not sure if this will help, but if he is eating yoghurts, maybe just let him? Nothing there that's bad for him and it may well be just a phase (isn't everything )

My 11 mo has quite varied eating habits. He's always been into feeding himself but doesn't really eat much. I've mostly done finger foods, or loading a spoon, but it's very hit and miss. I find it really frustrating, too, especially since so much gets flung overboard. And if he doesn't eat enough he wakes for hunger. I BF still, too.

From one meal to the next his likes and dislikes change. I give him a wide selection of things to choose from hoping that he'll find something he wants. I always offer the same foods multiple times, knowing they need lots of exposures to a food before they truly decide what they like. Yes, that means a lot of wastage (or I eat it), but I don't want to get into the habit of offering only what he "likes". I don't think they truly know what they like just yet.

In the last week, I've given him a fork and that seems to help a lot. He's eaten on omelette, pasta, chicken and couscous this way. Not always foolproof, but it has helped - maybe the novelty? And like your LO, my DS loves yoghurt. I tend to offer that at every meal. You can try greek yoghurt if you're worried about sugar. Nice and creamy, but not sweet.

SO, no solutions, but commiserations. And I also don't agree that water in the night will "teach" him to eat more. You know he's waking with hunger, so you feed him. That makes sense to me. I'd rather cut out some snacks/milk in the day to try and get him to eat more at meals.