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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

A rod for my own back

20 replies

Divejaney · 18/02/2009 17:04

I don't think I ever once used this bizarre phrase before I had my DS and yet now I find myself using it all the time.

eg If I let DS feed to sleep am I making a rod for my own back?

Tell me I'm not the only one with a rod for my own back?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Rindercella · 18/02/2009 17:05

How old is your DS?

Original poster

Divejaney · 18/02/2009 19:22

Just 6 months. He can self-settle in the day but tends to fall asleep on a feed during the night. Still not cracked the sleeping through thing yet!

OP posts:

notperfectmum · 18/02/2009 19:35

Enjoy it while you can. He won't want you soothing him to sleep when he's a teenager! I love that time of night watching my DS drift off to sleep as I cuddle him. Did exactly the same with DD - she's nearly 4 and has no problems going to sleep and staying to sllep, she just grew out of needing the same cuddles. My DS started sleeping through about 5 weeks ago, DD was about 9 months too, You can force it or just go with the flow - depends on how desperate you are for a full night's sleep?

Chaotica · 18/02/2009 19:36

Don't worry. My two grew out of feeding to sleep. Never had to make them self-settle - they just got better at it.

CatDean · 18/02/2009 19:40

Message withdrawn

cory · 18/02/2009 19:50

The thing is you have to keep changing the rules for your children anyway- because they change. So a little extra change won't do any harm.

SnowlightMcKenzie · 18/02/2009 20:07

My rod is white gold and decorated with diamonds. I wear it permenantly now. I'm very pround of it. I feel sorry for those without one tbh. They're really missing out.

nolongerchunkybutstillapudding · 18/02/2009 21:24

snowlight

'My rod's bigger than yo-ur rod!!!'

It's feckin' huuuuuge

notperfectmum · 18/02/2009 21:35

snowlight - I'm green with envy, where did you get such a beautiful rod?

iamaLeafontheWind · 18/02/2009 21:40

Don't worry Snowlight a bit of formula and some controlled crying should sort that rod out

SnowlightMcKenzie · 18/02/2009 21:54

It's first prize for ignoring my children and MNing notperfectmum. I recently got an upgrade from yellow gold to white and I get a diamond for every 1000 posts.

Nah iama I love my rod. It suits me.

Bagebird · 18/02/2009 21:57

I agree that if it works for you, great and try not to fit your own routines round what everyone else tells you is the correct way to do it. We are not robots and our children respond as individuals. If it is working and there are no problems, then it is up to you.
Personally, I found feeding to sleep led to more colicky phases and my baby being sick in the cot after being laid down on a full tum. Also found it harder to settle down without me around when I tried to break the pattern. Followed the EASY Baby whisperer system with second child and was much easier. However, second babies are often easier, so who is to say?
I hate those damn rods - just another way to pile on the parenting guilt. When we have kids it is as if life plops a huge emotional skip out the front, ready to load up with your own, extended and immediate family, neighbours and just about anyone else?s experiences and guilt trips. Ditch the rod and just do what you think best

iamaLeafontheWind · 18/02/2009 22:08

According to Mumsnet, feeding to sleep can lower SIDS risk in the same way as dummies do. Some times it really seems like everything that makes life slightly easier with a small child is labelled 'wrong' just for the sake of it, or because some Victorian (probably with a moustache) thought it would create proper children.

brightongirldownunder · 19/02/2009 03:52

I don't have a rod - just a huge bloody totem pole!
I don't think you need to worry. I did b/f to sleep for almost 12 months and suddenly DD just wanted to go to bed on her own. If it works for you and makes life less stressful then carry on.

warthog · 19/02/2009 06:31

don't worry - it's one of the pleasures in life. i fed dd1 to sleep. when she weaned she just went to sleep with no problems. dd2 loves falling asleep while feeding too. tis fab.

fledtoscotland · 19/02/2009 21:43

i would enjoy it as it passes so quickly. i apparently made a rod for my back by co-sleeping with DS1 until he was 10months old and feeding him to sleep. he chose to go in his cot as he had more room there. he now goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps for 12hrs. am treating DS2 the same. enjoy your children and trust your own instincts

motherlovebone · 19/02/2009 23:28

was very by the book with my first. consequently didnt enjoy her, just kept trying to fit into the boxes.
this time i am making a rod for my own back and have rather enjoyed it (though ds is only 3m so obv not as impressive as some of the rods on here but a rod nonetheless, just ask my mum...)

CeceliaAhern · 19/02/2009 23:43

I fed dd to sleep until she was 19 months old. I knew it was a rod, I moaned about it permanently intermittently but I would probably do it again. I still lie beside her as she goes to sleep ( she is 3 now and I can feel the and of many, but I know it won't be forever and it suits us most of the time.

FatController · 20/02/2009 00:00

I fed DS to sleep most nights until he was 19 months and I loved it. It also meant there was no bedtime crying!

I did get a bit bored of it after a while - problem solved by getting Daddy to put him to bed every night for 2 weeks! DP started off by giving him a story and milk then rocking him, moving to just holding him and finally putting him straight in his cot. I would BF him in the morning when he woke up. There were a few tears for the first couple of nights but it was a pretty painless experience. If I put him to bed now he does not go for a BF. It was very easy to change his associations so if you are enjoying BFing your DS to sleep then carry on!

Original poster

Divejaney · 21/02/2009 16:38

Thank you for all the messages. Sorry I didn't respond sooner but have been poorly - properly poorly so that I didn't even have the energy to go on MN!

When I was ill my milk supply was a bit low for the day as I wasn't eating and my DS decided that he preferred the formula milk in the bottle.

Thankfully it was only temporary but I felt so bad and upset that he was rejecting my Mummy-milk. So maybe I will keep my rod for a little longer as I think I do enjoy it!

OP posts:

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