Hi. I know lots of kids do this, but my 8 year old has never done this before. A few weeks ago he started waking up during the night and said he felt worried & afraid, and wanted to get into bed with me. At bedtime now he tells me he hopes he doesn't wake up during the night as he lies there feeling alone and becomes scared by anxious thoughts. I've put a nightlight in his bedroom and he has a couple of teddies around to cuddle if he wants to, but he doesn't seem interested in doing that. I don't want to send him back to bed if he's feeling afraid but it's starting to drive me nuts because I'm losing sleep and I've gotten cranky with him about it a few times. I've tried talking to him about the problem, reassured him over and over that me and dh are there for him, and tried to allay any fears I think he might have.
My question is, do I allow him to get into bed with me/dh and hope that this will run its course, or will this only make things worse by becoming an entrenched habit? I used to get into bed with my mother when I was young but it went on for years, and I don't want the same thing happening with my son. I need my sleep and so does he! I want him to feel secure but somehow I don't feel I should be encouraging this habit. I've set up a bit of a rewards system for him if he can stay in his bed and go back to sleep without getting into bed with us. What do you think? He is a restless, mobile sleeper and I get woken up constantly if he's in bed with me. At the same time I don't want him to be alone if he needs to be with one of us. I'm really confused.. any input appreciated.