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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

little loves books but drivcing me spare by not reading by himself ever

28 replies

bumbly · 16/02/2009 20:07

ok he is 18 months old but am worried that now am going to make him hate books cuz all he does all day is want me (and noone else!) to read them to him but am gwetting angry by this as bloocking me on sofa literally all day

end up shouting at him after 20th book that i have had enough as know there is 20 more to come in afternoon and 50 more in eve!!

and this may detrimental

dont want to remove them as want to encourage reading

but i want to encourage independent reading!!

any advice appreciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheFallenMadonna · 16/02/2009 20:10

Eh?

Original poster

bumbly · 16/02/2009 20:10

as i wrote

OP posts:

sircoughalot · 16/02/2009 20:12

oh this could be me!! We have bookshelf with large number of dd (17mo) books on upstairs, and about 5 in the lounge. The ones in the lounge swap maybe fortnightly, sometimes weekly (depends how bored I've got of them )

She will bring them to me to read over and over, and sometimes will read them herself. On me, very rarely away from me. But, because there is a limited resource downstairs she does get bored of them and find other things to do as the afternoon progresses.

At night i let her choose ONE book, i will read it as often as she wants, but it is just the one book. As she gets older I may let her tak one to bed with her, but it wouldn't work just yet.

This system works for us, in that I have control over which books are downstairs, and she gets bored by midday and then plays!!

HTH.

Lindenlass · 16/02/2009 20:13

he's only 18m! Get used to it - reading is something to be shared at that age, and for many more years to come.

TheFallenMadonna · 16/02/2009 20:15

I'm not sure how you expect your 18mo to read independently. I know it's MN but still...

Do you mean just look through the book on his own?

I would say, no - no more stories now - how about

Original poster

bumbly · 16/02/2009 20:21

of course i mean look at it on its own...

well not other activites do

some times he reads on his own so know he is capasble

but hobestly i am reading 10/12 hours of his wakinbg day..well am exagertaing ---9 out of 12

am knackered

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 16/02/2009 20:23

So stop. Do something else. He might not like it, but you are right, that is a lot...

thisisyesterday · 16/02/2009 20:24

erm, he is 18m old. of course he wants you to read them to him.

what a bizarre thread.

Original poster

bumbly · 17/02/2009 08:08

yes but literally all day

not a bizarre thread

bizarre that noone understands!!!!

as writing this is scream ing for me to read

think it is a way for him to have me

OP posts:

Original poster

bumbly · 17/02/2009 08:08

yes but literally all day

not a bizarre thread

bizarre that noone understands!!!!

as writing this is scream ing for me to read

think it is a way for him to have me

OP posts:

ThreadieMair · 17/02/2009 08:13

Exactly that: it is a way for him to 'have you'. He's learnt to associate books with sitting up comfy with mum's whole attention.

You could choose to find other ways of getting that one-to-one satisfaction; or you could chose to help him lean that sometimes you just have other stuff to do; or, most likely, a bit of both.

JollyPirate · 17/02/2009 08:15

Hi Bumbly - I think I can remember us speaking before when your little one was newborn - good to see you are still on here.

This is an attention thing - he loves your attention and this is his way of having total one to one time. However, you have a life too and things to do.

Tell him - "Mummy has to do ....." and then I'll read with you again. Do what you need to do and don't feel guilty - it's hard though because when they scream for you like that it gets to your very soul (well it always did to mine - hence I did little housework ).

He's 18 months and discovering that he can influence the world around him. Are there any other toys he will amuse himself with while you do things?

Scorta · 17/02/2009 08:23

what fun that he loves to read but I can rememer how annoying and tedious it can be after the 20th bok.

distraact him, take him out, even put the TV on and then you will get a break.

ShauntheSheep · 17/02/2009 08:33

Reading with kids is great but is not the be all and end all of helping them love books. Reading yourself has been shown to be a vital part of children reading when they get older. You wont make your child hate books by saying no you cant read to him now. I have said that to dd loads mainly cos I'm busy reading myself doing housework and stuff.

Lindenlass · 17/02/2009 09:11

Yes, say no when you need to. Buy lots of different books that you like so you won't mind reading them so much.

Seriously, though, I know this sounds horribly patronising, but you will look back at this time and miss the cuddling up quietly with a book together. Having 4 children now, it's harder to do and I relish the evenings when DH takes the littlest two out so I can just cuddle up with two of them to read.

I did find it frustrating when they were younger, but found I just needed to find ways that I could enjoy it too.

Othersideofthechannel · 17/02/2009 09:19

I have frequently fallen asleep after hours of reading to my DCs.

It is a good thing. Your child obviously has a good concentration span.

But for your own sanity, you do need to say: I will read 5 books and then we are going to wash up/walk to the shop and stick to it even if there is a tantrum.

apostrophe · 17/02/2009 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

seeker · 17/02/2009 12:36

Independent reading at 18 months? Should you be posting in Gifted and Tslented??????

Original poster

bumbly · 17/02/2009 12:53

of course i dont mean reading - i mean say 5 mins of holding book and looking at pictures

never should have put this post up

however cd with book may be a great solution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Snooch · 17/02/2009 13:02

Totally agree with what the others have said - definintely an attention thing at this age - obviously sitting and cuddling with mum on the sofa and having her sole attention is a nice thing for him and so he will continue to behave like this. My own 22 month old son is the same and is very attention seeking - I find that unless I am involving him in what I am doing in some way, he will throw a bit of a wobbly, so reserve anything that I need to do that I cannot involve him in for the evenings when he is asleep (whether that be catching up on admin or taking time out for myself reading etc)

It's simply not possible for a child of 18 months to look at books on his own for longer than a few minutes, so that's an idea you're going to have to let go of I'm afraid...so you're going to have to find him some other activities to do so that you can get on with a few things yourself. I found that my son really started to enjoy drawing at that age, so If I had say washing up to do in the kitchen, I'd put him on the floor with his sketch pad and crayons where I could keep an eye on him and let him draw while I got on with it. Another good buy is an Aquadraw mat, Argos is one place that does them - all the fun of drawing/painting without the mess - this keeps my DS busy for at least 20 minutes! I sometimes also open the tupperware cupboard and let him play with that which he loves. Then as I mentioned earlier, I find involving him in whatever I can works really well too - for instance when doing a load of washing I let him put the liquitab and the clothes in the machine, push the on button etc, and if I'm vacuuming, I give him the spare attachment and he "vacuums" alongside me, or "helps" me make the bed in the mornings by handing me the pillows etc - they really do love it and enjoy feeling like mummy's little helper, especially when you thank them profusely for helping It'll initially just be hard to get him off the constant requests to read, but once he realises and accepts that there are other ways to get close to you he'll soon stop.

Original poster

bumbly · 17/02/2009 13:19

snooch thanks so much

have got aqua draw - wants me to draw

got pots and pans - doesnt do much for him

today went to loo as had to urgent...and he was screaming pulling me off loo...book in hand

he draws on paper but only if i sit with him

still cant find something that he may do alone for five minutes

OP posts:

seeker · 17/02/2009 13:53

My dd was like this - her constant cry was "Riddit Dory! Riddit,Riddit, Riddit" It passes - like all phases!

mrsgboring · 17/02/2009 14:08

I do see that this is really demanding for you, but it won't last long. My number one piece of advice would be to go out as much as possible. It breaks up the day and makes a sit down when you get in quite welcome, even if it results in lots and lots of bookreading.

Have you tried Duplo? He's roundabout old enough and my DS adored it. Also playdough though you will need to do that with him. I think it depends a lot on the child whether they'll do anything independently at that age, but at least you'll be able to change activity and rest your voice. It will pass, honestly and in the meantime accept you will get "nothing done" but you are laying really good foundations for your DS.

trixiethepixie · 17/02/2009 15:01

Hi Bumbly. I remember you from when your ds had the cp and he was getting into the book thing.

Do you have a bookcase? Maybe put his books on there and ask him to choose maybe 3 or so and explain when that's done, mummy has to do something. Does your local library have a reading session for the little ones? It would break your day up a little bit but still involve reading.

Snooch · 17/02/2009 17:06

Oh dear Bumbly...hmmmm, mrsgboring is right - going out is great for breaking up the day. We normally do activities in the mornings where I give them my full attention (I'm still currently childminding one other little girl of the same age as well and about to go on maternity leave), then after lunch and a nap time we go out for about 2 hours. Really does make the day shorter! Although looking after two toddlers is hard work when heavily pregnant, at least they get on pretty well and play a bit together - weekends are actually worse when I just have DS!!

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