How do you train table manners in 2 year olds?

[janjas]

Our dd (2.5) will not sit at the dinner table for more than about 5 mins before she starts playing up. Ive just posted on the food section about how little she is eating so I suppose this is something to do with her lack of interest in sitting at the table, however I really want to nip it in the bud. We are going on holiday abroad in May and I desparately want to be able to go out to eat on an evening with her, without having to worry about how she is going to behave. If we ever go out to cafe's (which isn't very often), she will sit for about 5 mins then want to get down from her chair and run about/climb. We tend to leave very shortly after! Please please can I have some tips!

at home then we have a "get down from the table and the meal is over" rule. so no messing about getting up and down.
if ds1 gets down that's it. no more meal.

if we were out then I would have a pushchair with me and if he couldn't behave himself he would be strapped into it.

We have the same rule as thisisyesterday only exception being if DS1 (3.8) needs to go to the loo. Also no snacking half an hour later! You do have to be quite strong in the beginning though - it could be a battle to get your mesage across! Ds2 (22 months) is starting to monkey about - he gets down if his brother gets down etc even if he hasn't finished but he likes his grub too much to risk losing it. We are starting to teach DS1 to wait until DS2 has also finished before having pudding and/or getting down.

Good luck!

Sticker books and/or paper and crayons when out and about?

At home I have a 'no pudding' or 'no cbeebies' rule for bad behaviour at the table.

I have to say that I wouldn't even consider taking my 2.9 yo out in evenings though - he'd be too tired and would behave very badly.

We never take her out on evenings either but she's just as bad at lunchtime if we go out. I'm thinking about our holiday abroad where we will be eating at tea time which at this moment in time sounds like a nightmare!

Things might improve in 3 months time. Ds1 was awful at that age but is actually ok now (at 2.9) - could do a short lunch if not an evening meal.

My tip for your hol is:
Run her ragged during the day.
Give her a good tea.
Settle her slowly for the evening, Pajamas, milk, story.
Put her in the buggy, walk the long way round to the restaurant until she is asleep in it
Enjoy meal.

It's your expectations that are the problem rather than your DD only being able to sit for five mins! That is perfectly normal IMO; they don't need to eat for longer than five minutes, and they are very very active by instinct, therefore you're on a losing wicket imo if you ask for much more.

Agree with ohdear that an evening meal may be a nightmare for a 2 yr old unless she's had a big amount of sleep in the day - eating at 7pm on hols I mean.

I think you can try with pens/colouring etc, but further than that I just think you need to let this idea of eating out go really.

And I don't think you can or should 'train' children of this age re table manners; as others have said you can have a reasonable expectation that they don't get up and down all the time, so a simple rule of 'once you go, you have finished your dinner' is about all you can achieve IMO.

It is far more important to role model good manners yourself than to try to train by telling; kids learn most things by watching rather than being told IMO.

yes good idea blu - sleeping child = eating out!

I don't know but if you find out can you let me know??

We have stopped going out for meals with DS1 (2.7) unless it is absolutely necessary as he is such a nightmare

I would try the 'meal is over' trick but he eats so little as it is that I suspect this would result in him eating absolutely nothing.

We even resorted to putting sunglasses on DS before walking him around in the evening - to block out the light!

'If you leave the table, dinner is over' is generally exactly what 2 yos want to hear!

My 2.5 year old is the same and I can't even take him somewhere like mcdonalds local cafe without him running around. He dosn't eat hardly anything either which I think is liked as my DD will happily sit as long as she has food and she is also an active child. I personally wouldn't attempt going out. We tend to have a nice takeaway after the kids are in bed and treat it like a meal out IYSWIM.

I still sit my DD2(2.4) in a highchair if at all possible, if we are out.Or threaten to.
Take a Harness with you too.

The T.V on with CBeebies helps,although lots of people would hate this.

Definitely keep doing "rapid Return" to seat,and No pudding if you leave the table/leave your dinner.

Excessive praise and reward if they sit nicely for most of the meal.

As we have DS(12) and DD1(4.7) who understand the rules,DD2 doesn't want to miss out with anything they might be having,so sits with them usually.

at sunglasses trick

You lead by example. Model the behaviours you expect from her.

Two is a bit young to expect a child to have table manners tbh. They can't remember rules at the table at that age, they don't really understand.

Your expectations are too high - most two year olds will not sit in a cafe for more than 5 minutes and 'be good'. You can't do evening meals out with a two year old. She will be bored, tired and miserable and she will Make Her Displeasure Known.

Wait 2 or 3 years, she might be better at sitting then.

Highchair and some activities. When we were away last year I was very of a couple with a portable DVD player for thier toddler. She would sit and watch a DVD and snack off her parents plates whilst our DD was trying allsorts of tricks to get down and play in the park (next to the site restaurant). The first night was lovely - then she found the Park and it all went downhill from there