22 month old - please reassure me that what she eats/doesn't eat is ok

[nuttygirl]

dd has always been small - she's followed the 2nd centile but is also on that for height so in proportion and we've never worried about it.

She doesn't eat much meat and no fish. MIL is now having a strop because dd "is very fussy" . We're visiting them this weekend and the only meals they'll be making are Friday evening meal & Sunday lunchtime meal. We suggested a few things that we know dd will eat well (all simple stuff that they often make) but MIL seems pissed off and is going on about how dd's cousin will eat anything she makes . She's now claiming that we "let dd diet" and 'let' her be fussy.

dd eats the following:
breakfast - cereal with whole milk and will then have some of my cereal dry
snack - grapes, blueberries, banana or something similar
lunch - sandwich or beans on toast followed by yogurt and then an apple
snack (depending on when she naps) - fruit, organix crisps, sometimees a treat of a packet of quavers or some choc buttons
evening meal - usually what we're having unless it's something she won't eat followed by yogurt.
Then milk before bed

She has maybe one beaker of squash and then the rest as water.

For evening meals she'll eat the following sorts of things:
Roast dinner apart from the meat & gravy - will eat a little bit of lamb sometimes
Spag bol
Cottage pie
stir fry
hot pot (including some of the meat but not lots)

Basically she'll eat mince, a little bit of stewed meat, a little bit of roast lamb, cold ham. She will not eat chicken or fish. She eats all sorts of veg & fruit but likes them whole - MIL keeps saying we should hide fish in her mashed potato...and then moans that she doesn't eat mashed potato.

Someone reassure me dd is normal and we shouldn't be trying to force her to eat stuff. She does keep trying fish when we put a bit on her plate but spits it out as if she's being sick (we've tried fish, fish fingers & fishcakes). We still put little bits of meat on her plate when we're having it but don't pressure her to eat it.

COMPLETELY normal!

You're MIL sounds nuts

Your daughter seems to be getting a decent, varied diet. Fussy eating is difficult though and I sympathise.

My DD was similar and I took he approach of putting the food in front of her and not making a fuss if she didn't eat it, but not offering anything else either.

She is now trying more and more (she is 3).

I wouldn't worry about comparisons with cousins etc. My DD used to eat anything and everything and just became fussy, for no obvious reason. A lot of children seem to go through this so your DD's cousin my well start as your DD stops .

I do think sometimes they are looking for a reaction, to get attention and to see if they can get you to parade a whole array of delicacies in front of them as they turn their nose up. I know it is hard to avoid doing this, especially if your DD is little to begin with.

They also need to be given time for their palate to develop, so try to be patient.

It sounds like you are doing well, just stick with it. HTH

she sounds exactly like my dd - there is no disguising fish! And why not let her eat the things she likes, when she's got a good diet?

its 1 tablespoon per portion per yr of there age

so main meal 2 tbs for eg mash, 2 tbs veg, 2 tbs meat

that is perfectly reasonable if on the small side 1-1 1/2 tbs per portion

as for what she is eating my ds didnt start eating other foods until 2hlf nearly 3 as long as diet is healthy and varied throughout day meal

my son is 3 will eat all meat except beef, wont eat boiled potato eats all veg and fruit there the main things so don't worry protein and vitamins are still being met fish can be introduced later on your doing fine she's doing fine

Nuttygirl I honestly think this sounds more than fine - pretty good imo. My nearly 23 month DS eats similarly - doesn't like chicken at all, will only eat fish if it's hidden or covered in lashings of cheese sauce/ketchup, doesn't like "chunks" of meat at all (as in stew, roast etc), but will eat mince and cold ham. He loves his beans and there's a lentil dish I do which he likes as well. He will eat most vegetables and any kind of fruit really. In comparison to lots of other children of the same age that I know, I consider him to be a good and healthy eater. He has consistently maintained his growth curve (inbetween the 75th and 91st centile) and the health visitors I've seen have never given me any reason to think that he has a problem with food.

Good on you for not pressuring your DD to eat things that she doesn't want - you're doing the right thing by continuously offering them to her and so giving her the opportunity to accept them in her own time rather than cause a food phobia and a lot of stress that nobody needs. At the end of the day, children also have their own food preferences and the experts say that if they're getting a fairly well balanced diet over the space of a week, it is unneccessary to worry about it.

nuttygirl - your DD sounds fine. Your MIL sounds a bit bossy/interfering . Sounds like she has a perfectly healthy diet and she will grow to love more chewy/chunky meat. I know adults who don't like fish, so it shouldn't be a surprise if your LO doesn't - she's eating plenty of fruit, veg and will eat meat, so what's the problem?
I have often taken food out of freezer for DS with us to PILs house, or cooked something for him when we're there (he can't have dairy or eggs, so it's sometimes easier). I don't worry what they think (not in nasty way - they are lovely, but it just makes life easier) - they want to see him and they get to.
Your DD will try new foods as and when she's ready - probably off your plates. Sounds like you're doing a great job, as I know plenty of children who won't eat fruit and veg whereas it sounds like your DD does.

That diet sounds pretty good really - prob better than my dd who is a carnivore/ fishivore (I know thats not the right word) and won't eat veg. I think if you force anythig on her she will refuse to eat it but if you don't she might come round to it. Sounds like she's doing great! And so are you! MIL sounds like she's looking for problems!

Thanks. MIL just goes on and on and I end up questionning myself.

My youngest(3), eats v. little, so goodness knows what your MIL would say. i wish mine would eat half as much as yours. She is slim, but tall, so not in proportion,but apart from the usual childrens colds etc, shes healthy and has plenty of energy, so i try not to worry too much.She still has bottles throuhgout the day,(oooh, contentious and probably another thread),but a lovely GP told me, there is no rule book about when to stop bottles(she does also drink from a cup), and as long as she was getting the goodies she needs, not to worry.Ignore your MIL-youre her mother, and dont doubt yourself. I think shes getting her priorities wrong, she should be looking forward to seeing her grand-daughter, not what she eats.wheres your hubby in this? its his mum, ask him to have quiet word, or it may get to point you have to have LOUD and LONG rant....

You DD sounds perfect! No need to worry at all. Like sunflower my DD is a complete fish/meat eater. Will eat veg but absolutely no potatoes, cereal, bread, rice.... Its driving me nuts but i keep telling myself that one day she'll just start to enjoy them and i mustn't force her.

I wish my 22 month old ate as well as yours...

your dd sounds fab. I wish my 19mo would eat what we eat - for dinner she has regressed to stage 3 jars of baby food - but only if out of the jar and cold! Normal food produces tears [sigh]!

Her diet sounds fine- she is getting all her major food groups and eating a balanced diet.
At 22 months my DD would eat; raisins, cheese, apples, pasta, ham, chicken, rice,bread and yogurt. That was it. She is now nearly 5 and whilst still a bit fussy, she will eat most things.

People have NO IDEA what a worry it is to have a child that refuses food/ to eat. DD was thin and pale for a long time but is now a solid (if still a little trim), tall and energetic child. But it has been a battle to get her to the stage we are at now where she wll even try new things without gagging. She was almost phobic and genuinely seemed repulsed by most foods. By not being anxious about it (either in your own home or visiting other people), you take some of the pressure off and can gradually introduce things that you would like her to eat.

Keep up the good work and ignore your Mum. We did not 'encourage' DD to be fussy as we are both great, adventurous eaters who are daft about food but we did allow it to turn into a battle ground and a control issue as we listened to other people's opinions on how to get her to eat and were not united in our approach. That made life a misery for all involved and you want to keep the 'issue' as low key a possible.