My angel has turned into a demon, i love her but don't like her much at the mo! What to do?

[minxofmancunia]

She's 2.5 always been "spirited" but I've managed to have a sense of humour and be patient so far. Was expecting the "terrible 2s" but this is off the scale. She's constantly naughty and disobedient not just mischievous but totally destructive, breaking and smashing everything.

Won't get dressed, have a nappy change nothing God knows how I'll manage potty training. She gets PLENTY of attention, positive praise, creative play, fun trips out etc. etc.

I'm 10 wks pg and have started to really lose my temper with her, even dh has shouted a few times which is unheard of. The way I'm wrting this doesn't do the hellishness of it justice, nothing's fun anymore, going out is horrible because she just has these huge tantrums, deliberately goes against everything I ask her to do screams, hits me scratches me and so on.

She's fine at nursery btw, and with my Mum and other adults but with me she's a little demon.

Advice please wise people!

bump

Have you tried completely blanking all tantrums? DOn't jolly her, don't talk to her, o what you have to do (nappy etc) then put her on the floor and leave the room.

Just getting to dothe nappy is impossible because of all the thrashing about and out and out aggression, but yes i do ignore her as much as possible

Impossible is a relative word. Presumably if her life depended on it, you would be able to hold her down and get it done? Or use pull-ups? I can understand that it tires you out, particularly being pregnant, but I do think it's essential at this stage to let them see (though not in a nasty way) that mummy is a lot bigger and more powerful than you, she is in charge and what she wants gets done.

I wouldn't try to stop a tantrum, but I would try to carry on working through it, doing whatever needed to be done.

Dd used to tantrum for England, she grew out of it eventually.

Some of this stuff maybe you could get round rather than face head on....agree with pull-up nappies....my ds was younger than this when he made nappy changes one hell of a nightmare; but pull ups were fine, problem solved. Yes it's trickier to clean them standing up but you quickly adapt!

With her oppositional and defiant behaviour I think it can be got round with alot of reverse psycholoogy - tell her not to do stuff in a really jokey way and she'll enjoy the feeling of 'opposing' you but in a safe way, and it can really lighten the mood and take the heat out of situations.

I agree that with certain things, you DO just have to press on and assert yourself - for example with hitting or scratching you or whatever, then I would give time out in her room and just let her tantrum about it if she wants to. Very important she knows where the line is on that.

And remember this IS a natural phase, it comes about when they are learning to govern their strong will and impulses; they can't learn without doing, none of us can so don't expect too much

Not really any advice, but wanted to let you know you're not on your own !! DD1 is EXACTLY the same. She throws big tantrums, especially in public, but only with me - DH thinks she's a pleasure to take out ! I also have DD2 6mths to deal with while out and about, so it is a nightmare ! We have "fun" at nappy changes too, in fact we did end up pinning her down the other day to get one on her before she went to bed (wouldn't have bothered too much and encouraged using the potty if not bedtime).
I also try to ignore her when she tantrums, but it is easier said than done when out and with DD2. I'm sure its just a phase !!

Forgot to say, DD1 is 2.7 and VERY strong willed.

Good Luck !