tantrums at 12 months??

[sleepylion]

Hi there,

going insane. Need some advice. My daughter turned one yesterday. Up till 11 months she was a total angel. It's all changed. I feel unconnected to her and it feels like shes in regular difiance against me. She struggles at the bottle but wont feed from it herself, goes mental if I try and clean her face, kicks me when I change her nappy, mopes about moaning and whining, if I give up with the bottle and put her down she goes mental. I've even come into my bedroom and shut her out of here as I write this as I'm losing a grip on things. I'm a single mum and coping is a challenge enough. But this, I just cant deal with. It feels like shes a terrible toddler overnight, and I don't feel equipped with the skills to act accordingly, nor the right amount of mental clarity or strength to make it through.

HELP!!!!!

Thanks

I think it's an independance thing, my ds is the same and still like this at 15 months.

Have you tried setting her in her high chair and giving her the bottle? Or maybe try it from a cup in the high chair?

Nappy changes - give her something in her hand while your changing her - a toy or baby wipes. My ds loves to pull the wipes out while I'm changing him and it keeps him occupied.

Cleaning face - I make funny noises when I'm doing it otherwise he goes ballistic.

Above all take a deep breath and don't let it bother you (easier said than done). I'm of a 'tough, these things need to be done' sort of attitude with ds. He started throwing a couple of real tantrums (kicking, screaming on the floor) and ignoring the bad behaviour seemed to work so far as he hasn't thrown a bad one in months.

Can you get anyone to help look after her for a couple of hours so you can get some peace and recharge the batteries? Sometimes when you're frazzled it can get on top of you.

Oh dear lula, you sound low and i feel for you. My 17 month dd went through the same thing and still asserts her authority at times.
Is she eating enough/ sleeping enough?? Could she be teething?

Lots of great advice from trixie. Toy and wipes for nappy change helps my dd no end.

When i find dd getting over grumpy i bundle her up and go for a walk in the pram which seems to settle us both.

It does honestly get easier and be reassured that she's developing normally.
Try not to react negatively, but praise her when she is calm.

thanks to all of you for your wonderful support.

I did try the bottle at the table, but she won't have it. She also totally and utterly refuses the sippy cup. I've been trying for months. The soft spout she just chews. And the drippy kind she just pours all over her!

Yes - toys at nappy times do help loads and thats what I normally do. I just wondered if it was time to try and tackle the bad response from her in some kind of other way rather than distract her? Maybe making my life too hard...but thought it was a test of my mothering skills and that maybe I could help her in some way to cope with some anxiety so that she could use it as a skill in future...? Or is that just crazy? And wipes - yes, I guess I didn't have the patience as she was always pulling them out! I think I may resport to giving her her own pack. Just didn't like the idea of having to always put them back in again! And didn't like the idea of wasting money and letting them dry out all the time.

Great to know she's behaving normally. First day at creche tomorrow! Hope the seperation anxiety doesn't kick in too much!

I'm looking forward to things getting easier. Thanks so much again x