19 month old pulling on hand, elder brother DX with ASD

[notfromaroundhere]

My DS1 is 3.4 and dx with ASD. DS2 is a very different character to DS1 and in many ways; his speech, understanding and social skills (if 19 months old have them!) are more "advanced" for want over a better word than DS1's were.

What is concerning me is DS2 tugs at your hand when he wants something and drags you to it. DS1 did this alot. The only difference is when you arrive at wherever it is, DS2 will point and verbally ask if he has the word for it for whatever it is he wants. DS1 just used to scream until you worked it out.

Is hand pulling ever an NT behaviour?

Many thanks

My DD (18 months old and very advanced verbally) has just started pulling me to things by my hand. I think it's just she's realised she can get things quicker if she takes me there - and it's a new trick for her too. Plus she likes holding my hand (a reasonably new thing too) so I'm sure it's all bunched up. I can't see anything to worry about.

My dd3 is 19 mo. She is very good verbally and always does this.

She grabs the hand of whoever's attention it is that she wants saying "hand", then drags you to what she wants.
She will tell you what she wants when she gets there, but insists on dragging you there first

Seems pretty normal to me

Thanks for your replies, my DS1 was only DX in December so I am probably being quite paranoid!

hi notfromroundhere, I'm in a very similar position with my two so really sympathise with the worry. Hand pulling is definitely an NT behaviour, it's when it doesn't progress to anything else (proper pointing and requesting) that it's cause for concern. Your ds sounds fine.

Have you done the CHAT (checklist for autism in toddlers) for your ds2? I'm sure that it will put your mind at ease when he passes it.

i think it definitely sounds nt tbh
ds (asd) would never have hand pulled..let alone point and ask for what he wanted.

try not to worry..he sounds ok notfrom

thanks for the reassuring posts. I really started to get concerned about DS1 at 20 months for a combination of things and although I promised myself I wouldn't stress over DS2 I'm finding it hard not to.

reading this thread made me realise that ds2 is actually 18 months today, so did CHAT on him just now. He passed on everything, am sure that ds1 would have failed on a couple of things, possibly protodeclarative pointing and pointing on request at that stage. I didn't worry about him until 20 months but his stall in language development was the main giveaway plus some iffy eye contact which started at about 25 months.

I know (all too well) that it's difficult not to worry but if he's communicating well with you, try and relax for the moment.

I've looked at the CHAT and I am sure DS2 would pass everything the only question mark being over taking an interest in other children. Until a month ago he was quite timid around other children and would shy away from them (excluding DS1) but loved adult company and would actively seek out strangers. If he was on the trampoline at softplay and other children got on he would shout at them to get down then get off in a huff! So he certainly noticed them but wasn't keen. When we went last week he was actually playing quite happily with the children but he was 19 months rather than 18 months.....

DS2 on the other hand would have passed on that questions but failed on the pointing for interest, bringing objects just to show you, responding to his name and a couple of others.

I know I need to relax I seem to have got into the habit of viewing everything as a possible ASD indicator and I need to snap out of it.