Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

4 month old screaming blue murder when in car seat!!

12 replies

SydneyB · 14/02/2009 19:51

Came back this afternoon from an 1 hr long journey in the car with DD, 2, and DS, 4 months and am still recovering! DS screams and screams and screams when he is in the car seat even when we are moving. It is just dreadful. When I got him out at the other end it took me ages to calm him down. It's like he's utterly terrified or something. He is pretty awful in the buggy too. Fine as long as you keep moving in the buggy or he is asleep. Cries when stationery. But the moving car doesn't stop him from crying unless he's asleep and it doesn't make him go to sleep if he's not ready to anyway. Does anyone have any ideas how to make journeys better for him and us?? I've tried having him on the front seat next to me so he can see me but it makes no difference and anyway he can see his sister in the back seat. DD never cried in the car seat unless she was hungry or something. Am dreading next journey and just feel SO SO sorry for him. He's a calm and happy baby the rest of the time.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kitkatqueen · 14/02/2009 20:00

Hi Sydneyb, this probably isn't too helpful, but I recently read a report stating that babies shouldn't be in a carry along type car seat for more that 20 mins at a time - I know we've all done it, theres quite a bit in the archives on here about it.

The only thing I can think of that may help is that my children were all much happier in their their big rear facing britax, than the carry seat. Its called the 1st class SI and its suitable from birth - even in the rear facing mode it can sit up or be reclined, and when they get big enough you can turn it round for forward facing.

Hope this helps a little, my sister had a similar problem with dd2 and, it was awful so I do sympathise.

scrooged · 14/02/2009 20:04

Maybe he's not comfortable or needs one that is facing you or not. I used to have the same problem with ds when he was small, he would scream when he was in his pram but not in his car seat, he's always been cuddly so I think he needed swaddling so felt enclosed IYKWIM. He probably doesn't feel safe/enclosed enough or maybe it's too tight for him. What's his personality like? Does he like to be enclosed/arms free for example?

scrooged · 14/02/2009 20:04

clemette · 14/02/2009 20:14

My DS was exactly the same. I experimented with the tiny love car seat mobile and things stuck on the window which did help a bit, but to be honest nothing really worked until he was big enough to go forward facing. I had kept DD rear facing until she was well over a year following the safety advice, DS moved the moment he was 9kg - the incessant screaming on every journey was making me drive erratically so, on balance, I thought it was better for us all.

It will get better - until then is there anyone who can sit in the back with him on the longer journeys to sing action songs...?

Original poster

SydneyB · 14/02/2009 20:18

Thanks Kitkat - thing is that he is ok when you put him in it before he goes in the car if you see what i mean. And he's happy in a similar shaped bouncer chair and sitting on the sofa etc. He was carried around a lot in a sling when he was smaller as I had DD to look after and I wonder if he just likes to be close to me. He is quite a cuddly baby. He's never been swaddled Scrooged but he does sleep on his tummy so I guess that makes him feel secure whereas car seat and buggy don't. But man, I just can't bear the thought of going anywhere again!

OP posts:

morningpaper · 14/02/2009 20:20

Ah I have been through this with DD2

We tried all suggestions but she is still pretty hard work and is nearly 4!!!! But she does get proper vomity car sick, so I think this has always been a problem since birth.

A sling helped - it was SO miserable never being able to take her out for a "nice walk" or a "quiet drive"

And we've not been on holiday any further away than Devon for 4 years. Which is a about hour's drive away....

this is a RUBBISH post isn't it?

Original poster

SydneyB · 14/02/2009 20:35

You see, DD is a car sicker but is still fine in the car apart from that. I just can't carry DS in the sling anymore. At 4 months he is 16lbs and my back hurts. We use a Phil and Ted's buggy and it's so tiring because I can't stop anywhere to play with DD without taking him out too as he just wails! But I can cope with that as at least I can do something about it. But in the car it is just agony as I just want to stop the car, pull him out of the seat and cuddle him. Just drive along sweating with aching boobs trying to concentrate on the road which is hard enough as it is in my sleep-deprived state. I guess with everything, it will just get better with time... although morningpaper, cannot contemplate waiting til he's 4! (PS Have copy of yo book on sofa next to me!)

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 14/02/2009 20:51

SydneyB try a mei tai. They are more supportive for heavier babies.

In the car have you tried wrapping him up in a blanket and giving him toys to keep him amused? What about a dummy? Does he have a comforter toy?

Lazycow · 14/02/2009 20:54

I used to drive to my parents with ds in the car every 2-3 weeks from when he was about 7 months old and he cried/screamed for almost the entire journey (1.5 HRS) EVERY time we went.

H almost never fell asleep on that journey despite me always timing it to fit in with his usual nap time or bedtime and when he did it was always a few minutes before we arrived and he would wake up as we went in and be really grumpy and overtired.

I remember one particular journey (they were across London so always involved a lot of traffic) where the it took 2 hours and he cried almost continuously for most of that. Unfortunately the traffic was do bad for a lot of it that pulling over was impossible. I remember doing a lot of my own crying on that trip and some exasperated shouting - not my finest hour as a parent.

As soon as we transferred ds to a forward facing seat at 17months (He was too light before then), he was transformed and the whinging/crying in the car stopped. It was a long 17 months though ! From then onwards he just improved and even fell asleep in the car sometimes.

Nowadays ds (4.2) is actually a very good car passenger and requires very little entertaining (For the first 3 years of his life I had no radio or cd player in the carand he just got used to silence) and has been for the last 18 months or so

He hated the pushchair at that age too then when he started to walk he started liking the pushchair and I couldn't make him walk without a struggle.

kitkatqueen · 14/02/2009 20:56

Sydneyb, Don't know if this might help, but when dd1 was v little we used to tuck a muzzy round her tummy and tuck it in behind her when she was in the carseat - she also was a v cuddly tummy sleeper and this did seem to help her, I also tried attachment parenting her with a cuddly bear and it really seemed to work - it went everywhere with her, and gave her the security she had only got from me up until then. Then aged about 2 she left him in her bed one morning and never seemed to need him again.

NancysGarden · 14/02/2009 20:58

I sympathise!

Could it be motion sickness? My LO is almost always sick if she has any dairy before travelling in the car, and the warning sign is always crying lots.

It really helps if she has things to do (not with the sickness but with her general mood).

Good luck I hope you find a solution

neveronamonday · 14/02/2009 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Flip