Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

How can I get ds (3.5) to draw/ 'write' - he seems to have decided he's 'not good at it' and doesn't want to at all?

28 replies

averyboringname · 13/02/2009 16:37

Ds is 3.7 and somehow has decided he thinks he isn't very good at drawing (his words) or 'writing' and now refuses to do it at home (he will a bit at nursery from what I can glean).

The only explanations I can think of are that:

The MIL once or twice has really gone on at him when he was drawing to hold his pencil properly when imho she should have just been easy going and left him to it as this was about 6 or 9 months ago and he was too young to be nagged like that

and/ or 2. he seems to be a mini perfectionist and doesn't like the idea of doing something if he isn't sure he's any good (I do hope this hasn't come from anything we've said or done )

He is a very bright little boy (e.g. can already read simple words and short sentences - led by him not pushy parenting by us) but literally refuses to do any drawing.

I'm not fussed about him writing as there's time for that but I wish he'd do drawing as it's fun!

By the way, he's not that sort of boy who can't concentrate or sit still so it's not that.

Anyone had similar?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SixSpot · 13/02/2009 16:39

Have you tried an etch-a-sketch or similar?

Kathyis6incheshigh · 13/02/2009 16:43

I don't see why he has to do it at all if he doesn't want to. Sorry but you do sound like you are pushing him.

AMumInScotland · 13/02/2009 16:45

I've seen a suggestion to get them outside with a big paintbrush and a bucket of water to make patterns on the path/driveway/fence. That way they can enjoy making marks without feeling it has to be neat and tidy. You could also try things you can mess aroud with together - like fingerpaints for example - to put the fun back into the whole "making marks on paper" thing, if he's got put off it.

MrsBrendaDyson · 13/02/2009 16:48

make it messy - guarenteed - glitter glie, sprinkles

make it crafty - look for leaves or petals in the park glue to paper then 'draw' or 'paint' the background in.

glue pasta shapes to a piece of card in the shape of .....well anything - lets say a train....then get ds to fill in the passengers and the station and the platform - maybe other trains.

MrsBrendaDyson · 13/02/2009 16:49

tyo follow on from a mum in scotlands suggestion - my mum used to make foam from washing up liquid - pour most of the water out, get a roller and paintbrush and ask my son to paint the doors or the fence etc.

he farkin loved it being industrious - and my mum wasn't arsed that her doors had drip stains on and the carpet was a bit wet!

RubyRioja · 13/02/2009 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninah · 13/02/2009 16:55

I'd back off and relax personally, if he's had pressure from mil maybe that's what he needs most
learning should be fun at that age

Seeline · 13/02/2009 16:59

Give him every opportunity to make marks in any way - finger painting, tracing patterns in a tray of sand/salt, BIG sheets of paper on teh floor/wall where he can use his whole body to make the shapes etc. He is very young to be writing - he needs to learn control to hold a pencil correctly beofre he has enough control to actual 'write' letters etc. Also good are anything to encourage fine motor skills, threading beads, using tweezers or cooking tongs to pick things up, lacing cards etc.

mazzystartled · 13/02/2009 17:00

i think you should definitely lay off (as should your mil by the sound of it).

fwiw ds wasn't interested in drawing AT ALL until he was 4. 5 months later he is passionate about it, carries a drawing book around with him all the time and does the most amazing intricate spaceships and robots and so on. give him time, give him the materials and let him take the lead.

Original poster

averyboringname · 13/02/2009 17:20

Kathy - where do I say anything that suggests I push him into it? I really don't.

Of course the MIL should lay off. Believe me I agree. She I suspect has caused this.

I so should have said in my OP I never push him into it (or anything like this) and at most say 'ooh shall we draw a pic' in an enthusiastic way or something very gently and only occasionally.

Have tried to suggest we make a valentines card
for the girl he wants to marry! But nope didn't work....

OP posts:

Kathyis6incheshigh · 13/02/2009 17:28

Averyboringname, the very fact that you're asking how to get him to do it suggests you have views about what he ought to be doing. That's what I mean by pushing. If you are concerned you have created a mini perfectionist who doesn't want to do things he's not good at, maybe that's a sign you would be better letting him take the lead and focus on the things he feels happy with, rather than try to dictate what he ought to enjoy.

Sycamoretree · 13/02/2009 17:29

I think leave it for a month. Let is be obvious his crayons and pens are there if he wants to, but I would not even mention it again for a month unless he does.

DD is 3.5, and love to draw. She's interesting in tracing her name, but not beyond one or two goes. I think it would be unusual, personally, for a child of that age to show a huge amount of interest in "writing". They'd much rather play tea parties or charge around with a pirate sword.

Sorry, I know you haven't pushed him, but what I'm trying to say is, I don't think you should worry about trying to get him interested again. Why does he need to be?

Clure · 13/02/2009 17:32

Hi averyboringname, I have DD 4 who is similar. She used to be more into drawing but is going through a reluctant phase.
This fine motor skill of hand and pencil control are one of the later things to develop.
I personally am with you on not pushing them, although it's hard when you see other little ones who have mastered these skills!!
Lots of brilliant suggestions above, also putting paint into a bit of washing up liquid and smearing it over a flat surface, making patterns.
My DD also loves "aquadraw" nice and big

Original poster

averyboringname · 13/02/2009 17:44

Kathy - I just felt you were reading more into this than there is in terms of me pushing.

I think children this age mostly enjoy drawing. I am not concerned about him not doing it per se as much as that he has developed some sort of three year old version of a hang up about it which is a shame.

OP posts:

meemar · 13/02/2009 17:50

I would leave him to show interest when he's ready.

My DS1 didn't enjoy drawing or any kind of craft at age 3. He used to get frustrated that he couldn't do it 'right' so lost interest.

He is now 5.5 and since starting school his love of drawing and making things has just come naturally.

Acinonyx · 13/02/2009 17:52

Dd used to love drawing and started early then suddenly stopped at around 2.5. It was very clear that she woudln't draw any more because it wasn't perfect - it didn't look how she wanted it to.

Then one day I was showing her a nursery rhyme book I had as a toddler and she could see that I had tried to colour the pictures. She was very fascinated with my attempts which were VERY messy. She mentioned this a few times and I confirmed that I had indeed been very messy when I was learning to draw and colour. Then she suddenly started to draw and colour again - she certainly is a lot better than I was at her age (now 3.5).

She really loves to draw and there is no doubt that her own feeling that this is soemthing she is good at is highly motivating - so I can see where you are coming from and you must tell your MIL not to be so critical.

WithHilariousConsequences · 13/02/2009 17:57

Don't mention anything about it to him at all.

He is only 3. Just give him access to drawing materials so he can do it if he wants to.

Your MIL is in danger of causing a real issue with him wrt nagging him about holding a pencil.

KTNoo · 13/02/2009 18:28

Just leave him. He doesn't want to do it and he's really young. If you try to make him he'll hate it even more. My ds was the same - now almost 6 and likes drawing and craft but only if he has complete free reign to draw/make what he likes. He couldn't do any of the fine motor stuff they "should" be able to do when he started school at 4 (way too young imo for some kids). He still doesn't like colouring - I think he doesn't find it creative enough and therefore doesn't see the point.

duckyfuzz · 13/02/2009 18:29

leave him be, he's too young

BFQi · 13/02/2009 19:02

I asked a similar question a while back. Maybe my thread has some more ideas.

I finally spoke to the staff at nursery about it the other day, but they don't seem at all concerned. And actually just in the last couple of weeks he's suddenly started to get past the block he had and enjoy making pictures (in whatever way) for the first time.

I wouldn't worry at all - just keep giving him a variety of options and perhaps find other "fine motor" things for him to do. It's frustrating if you like drawing yourself though, isn't it?

Scorta · 13/02/2009 19:04

He does not need to do any of these things if he does not want to.
leave him to play and he will come round when he fancies it

muppetgirl · 13/02/2009 19:12

leave him.
I speak as a teacher and a mother who was eally disppointed that her mental picture of motherhood sat round the kitchen table colouring in and making playdough sculptures for hours on end didn;t happen. I had the child who wanted to climb, turn keys in locks and open doors, 'play' the piano he would endlessly look at books and talk the hind legs of several donkey's....

He's 4.10 now, can write his name and most words that he can sound out, he can read decodable books and is beginning to find the joy in colouring in though he won't win any prizes for keeping in the lines (why waste the time when you can do more fun things?)
Art really isn't his thing but he does bilud the most amazign lego models, plays for hrs with those magnatex things so I'm not as worried as I was which means ds 2 will get a far more realsitic version of motherhood than the idela scenario I first had in my head!

Original poster

averyboringname · 13/02/2009 23:21

I think the problem is Scorta that I LOVED drawing and painting as a kid so to me this is playing rather than schooly stuff.

But this has been a useful thread and I will leave be and not mention it.

I don't think I can quite resist doing a few pics in front of him and looking like I'm thoroughly enjoying myself though (which I will be

OP posts:

scrooged · 13/02/2009 23:23

He's only 3. He doesn't need to be doing this yet. Let him enjoy these short years, he'll be writing for the rest of his life! Children learn alot through play, let him paint and have fun.

Clary · 13/02/2009 23:27

Paint with water outside

Put shaving foam on a large container (sandpit eg) or plastic table and let him draw in that

finger paints

Sand to draw in

Blackboard and chalks

Big roll of lining paper he can do endless drawings on

Mini whiteboard so he can rub it out if it goes wrong?

Flip

1 2