Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Should I be proud or embarrassed by this behavior from DS1 ?

23 replies

sameagain · 11/02/2009 09:25

And should I take the teachers' behaviour up with the school?

We live opposite the school, soon after we got home yesterday, a small group of staff (1 teacher and some LSA'a) gathered outside the school gate for a cigarette.

On seeing this DS1 (age7, Yr 3) ran to open the front door and yelled " MR X, cigarettes will kill you"

I didn't know whether to reprimand him for being cheeky, or proud of him for having the nerve to do it. I would never have shouted across the road at an adult at that age, let alone to a teacher and to tell him off but then shyness have been the bane of my life. And he's not wrong

Also, should teachers be smoking in the street like that, in view of pupils? I appreciate they weren't on school premises and it was in their own time, so maybe there's nothing the school can do about it, but children do believe teachers are right about absolutely everything.... They used to smoke in the car park, in a corner out of view of the road, but I guess have been told they can't smoke on the premises.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TrinityRhino · 11/02/2009 09:28

I wouldn't reprimand him

he was speaking the truth and as a seven year old maybe thought she needed to know

maybe tell him shouting at people from across the road is maybe not the best way to communicate but not in a telling off way

bless him, he sounds lovely

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 11/02/2009 09:29

I wouldn't reprimand him for being cheeky. Equally I wouldn't complain about teachers smoking after the school day - you happen to live opposite the school

Original poster

sameagain · 11/02/2009 10:00

Yes, I know they were in a public place in their own time and I don't really plan to do anything about it, but lots of public buildings do have signs up saying you can't smoke in the entrance.....?

I thought maybe the experience would embarass them into moving, but they were there again this morning and it was all I could do to stop DS1 running out in his underpants to tell themm again!

OP posts:

Bakersman · 11/02/2009 14:25

You should be a very proud Mum!!!! You have indoctrinated him well........ sorry can you tell I'm very anti smoking

Original poster

sameagain · 11/02/2009 18:00

LOL - me too Bakersman, but I know I am prone to over-react because I have isuooos. DH is an on/off secret smoker - thinks I don't know!

OP posts:

keels26 · 11/02/2009 18:08

I think thats great, at least he knows the dangers of smoking and isnt afraid to share his knowledge! Also think that the teachers should be a bit more subtle. I was with my DS one saturday and he saw one of his teachers and said hello to her, as we walked past I noticed she had hidden her cigarette behind her back as she didnt want him to see her, and this was on her day off!

CrushWithEyeliner · 11/02/2009 18:09

I would have words with my DC for doing this personally. It's rude.

wickedwitchofwestfield · 11/02/2009 22:40

I think maybe yelling across the street wasn't the politest form of communication but good on him I say!

bellabelly · 11/02/2009 23:01

I think, at 7 years old, I would be telling him off for being cheeky. Am that you feel proud of his behaviour!

Nightcrawly · 12/02/2009 12:29

I agree with bellabelly actually. I don't think it is polite to yell judgemental comments across the street at anyone. I would be proud of his knowledge and embarrassed by his behaviour if I am honest.

Aimsmum · 12/02/2009 12:36

Message withdrawn

cory · 12/02/2009 12:59

not so much about telling a teacher off IMO, I just don't want my kids growing up all prim and smug; with a 4yo I'd have smiled tolerantly- a 7yo should have developed better social skills

londonone · 12/02/2009 18:48

Not sure in what way you think you should be taking the teachers behaviour up with the school. He/she was a smoking a cigarette in their own time on a public street the idea that you think you have any say in that at all is ridiculous.

As for your son he was very rude. Had he been walking past with you and simply said it to the teacher then that's fair enough but to open the door to yell across the street is just bad manners. Imagine if he had shouted across the street to a stranger "Eating those chips will make you fat" would you still be "proud" of him?

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 18:53

I think this is definatiely a case of 'it's not what you say, it's how you say it'

Your ds has a fair point and what he said was true but I do agree that he shouldn;t have shouted it out and I agree with the poster who cited eating chips as an example.

Does he shout out that overweight people should eat less?

my MIL smokes but I do let ds know the truth about smoking that it makes you smell, makes your teeth go yellow, costs a lot etc etc but I do still stress it is a choice people have and they are allowed to make it for themselves.

cupofteaplease · 12/02/2009 18:54

I would think it rude tbh.

Thunderduck · 12/02/2009 19:16

It's very rude and I'd reprimand him. I'm sure he knows about the dangers of smoking and doesn't need a 7 year old to tell him of them.

wickedwitchofwestfield · 12/02/2009 20:23

eating chips is hardly the same as as smoking

flowerybeanbag · 12/02/2009 20:30

I wouldn't be proud about that. Proud of his knowledge about the dangers of smoking, but I think shouting at an adult about their behaviour at the age of 7 is cheeky I'm afraid.

MilaMae · 12/02/2009 20:50

I think it's a difficult one.

My sil smokes,the only smoker on either side. We've read Dr Dog and drummed into dc the ills of smoking. I don't want my dc seeing it and thinking it's ok. We never had any smokers in the family and never dreamt of doing it (although I experimented at uni and didn't really like it). I don't want my dc growing up thinking it's acceptable iykwim.

Anyhow they tease sil ie "you're smoking,it'll kill you" etc. To them smoking is bad(naughty) so seeing adults doing it is highly entertaining and shocking.

I wouldn't have a problem with the teachers as it's their time,their lungs but equally I wouldn't be cross with my dc if they did the same as your son. I may say shouting across the road perhaps isn't polite but commenting on something the school has probably been lecturing on as a bad activity is understandable really.

I have to say it drives my sil potty but tough as far as I'm concerned, there is no way I'm having my dc mimicking her. She chooses to smoke in public in front of kids it's open season and she'll just have to take the flack. I certainly won't be protecting her from my lecturing dc.

cory · 13/02/2009 09:48

erhhmmm... I also warn dcs about the dangers of alcohol. Far more dangerous than chips eating. But I wouldn't want them to shout out at the local drunk to tell him what it's doing to his liver. And that's before you even get to the heroin junkies. There are more ways than one of getting cut off in your prime...

MilaMae · 13/02/2009 09:56

Yes strangers I wouldn't be keen on but people they know-open season.

southeastastra · 13/02/2009 09:59

it's very rude! and not true, they could be run over by a bus for example

cory · 13/02/2009 10:05

I usually post to undermine the absolute belief in the infallibility of teachers, but here I find that I've reached some kind of limit. I do not think it should be open season on teachers! Really not!

And I would not have wanted my dcs to be so unkind as to tease my SIL about her smoking either. She did want to give up, she did know what it could do, she was struggling- why should I let my little horrors make her more unhappy about it? I want to bring up kindly, understanding children, who get the idea that the fact that I expect certain standards of them does not entitle them to mock other people who fail to live up to these standards.

Flip