Today at the library a boy aged not much more than 3 came over to me while I was reading to my DS. He then spat on the book and gave a mischevious smile. I told him off, then his dad came over and said something to the tune of his son having done it behind his back. I said something like 'well, he's a child, don't worry about it'.
Then a few minutes later he came over again and pushed my DS (age 2), then hit me and DS. Again I told him off (both times said something like: 'you do not behave that way'). His dad came over, picked him up and took him back to where his mum and baby sis were sitting. No apology from dad or son. I was in such shock that I didn't say anything, then the woman sitting next to me said the boy had done a similar thing to her, and the father had responded equally limply. All the time this was happening, the boy's mum was looking after her baby but looked over and didn't do or say anything about her spitting, hitting son.
As if that weren't bad enough, my DS, who has never hit me in his life, and who has very clear boundaries set, then hit me a few minutes later. I asked him if he was copying the boy, and so I made it clear to him that he'd better put that thought out of his head. After another attempt he got the picture (the threat of withdrawing a Charlie and Lola book from his possession did the trick!).
Am I being unreasonable here? If it were my DS I would have (a) made him wipe off the spit and apologise; (b) made him apologise after hitting and pushing, and made him hug the child he'd hit; (c) made it clear that such behaviour is unacceptable and that there would be consequences if it happpened again.
It's made me realise that as I'm now more deeply involved in the world of children and parents than I've ever been before, I should perhaps be prepared with a response for future encounters with parents who have no idea how to manage their children's behaviour. I'd like to do this in a firm but kind way (or maybe I should just let them see how pissed off I am). And in a way that hopefully puts paid to any copycat ideas that start lurking around my DS's head.
Any suggestions? How would you handle it?