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Original poster

Scared of the dark - how do i get my 5 y.o sleeping without the light on

26 replies

Boys2mam · 10/02/2009 20:58

my ds will be 5 nxt wk and usually sleeps with his bedside lamp on. His little brother is going to be moving into his room soon so I'm trying to get him to go to sleep without his lamp. I got him a gloe bear for xmas so he can have the light off but he now tells me he's having nightmares about someone coming to take him away!!

Any suggestions how to handle this?? I tried telling he's a big boy now but just got tears - am i wrong to force the issue?

OP posts:
Racingsnake · 10/02/2009 22:49

Not sure what you should do, but am certain that forcing it is wrong. I only reallu stopped being scared of the dark when I had DD.

Timeisablindguide · 10/02/2009 22:55

I think you'll have to keep the lamp for a bit longer. My 4(nrly 5)yr old is also afraid of the dark and although he used to sleep[ in the dark, he now needs a light on. Dh and I got sick of leaving hall light on which made it too light for us to sleep so have got him an energy saving little plug-in which illuminates the room enough for him not to be afraid. I remember having a light left on when I was a child so it's just something that will pass but in its own time I think.
You might find once his brother is in with him that it all changes so maybe wait and take a decision then as to whether the light is needed once he has company in his room?

NattyPlus2andAHalf · 10/02/2009 22:58

will watch this thread my 3 year old is scared of the dark

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 10/02/2009 23:00

When you find out will you let me know?

I have a five year old dd with the same problem and we are also moving her sister into her room soon.

DD1 seems to have an alarm fitted inside of her that wakes her up instantly when the leccy goes off. Not good when you have a key meter.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/02/2009 23:01

I remember it taking ages to sleep in the dark for me, I finally was persuaded by my mother to sleep with the door open and the landing light on and then it was gradually closed until I slept in the dark, took a few months if not years.

Linnet · 10/02/2009 23:07

How about a dimmer switch so that you can dim the light low enough for sleep but not so dark that he gets scared? Then gradually make it dimmer and dimmer and before you know it he'll be able to sleep in the dark. Do you close the bedroom door tight? or leave it open slightly? In our house we don't close bedroom doors properly they are always slightly open and the hall light is left on so there is always a small bit of light coming into the room.

When I was little I always went to sleep with the light on, but when I started going to stay at my dads house, after he'd remarried, I shared a room with my step sister and she had a dimmer switch, that's how I got used to going to sleep in the dark.

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 10/02/2009 23:10

Is there really a problem here? Why not just leave the light on?
Its a bit like thumb-sucking etc, they grow out of it eventually.

piratecat · 10/02/2009 23:13

Oh i wouldn't sleep without the hallway light on!!

5 is the season for scary monsters, shadows, and the sense that there IS something there to get you.

I would def let him have the hall light on?

becklespeckle · 10/02/2009 23:35

Another vote for the landing light being left on, plenty of light for him but dim enough for his brother to sleep.

I don't like the dark and I would sleep with my bedroom door open too if DH would let me didn't insist on sleeping in total darkness.

Original poster
Boys2mam · 11/02/2009 17:39

Thanks everyone, I feel a right dragon for trying to make him sleep without any light

I'll try the nightlight approach then see if I can progress on to the landing light being left on x

OP posts:
MrsSchmaltzyMerryHenry · 11/02/2009 17:46

I find this interesting, have your DCs always been afraid of the dark? And have they always had a light on in their rooms?

We've never used a light with DS (2) and he's always been totally at ease with it, but I always wonder whether there comes a time when the fear creeps in anyway.

Could you try a little plug-in night light? When it's dark they actually create quite a lot of light, more than you'd think.

seeker · 11/02/2009 17:53

My 13 year old still likes the loo light left on - I'd just let him have a light. Pick your battles!

hollyhobbie · 11/02/2009 17:56

MrsSchmaltzyMerryHenry My DD always slept in the dark with no problem until about age 2 and then one day she changed her mind. Luckily we had a plug in nightlight that we just put in her bedroom.

Now, 2 years on, she has a globe light that has a 15W bulb in it, so it's incredibly dim, but light enough for her to feel secure.

Lotster · 11/02/2009 18:26

I have an Auto-Fade light which you may find useful, it fades out over 15 minutes from a brightness that you preset.

The link is to Jo Jo Maman Bebe who do free delivery, and you can get 10% off with the mumsnet discount code.

My 2 year old started demanding the light on, and he took to this so well.

Good luck.

MrsSchmaltzyMerryHenry · 12/02/2009 11:03

Oh no! DS is also two! I'd better be prepared for this...!

Lotster · 12/02/2009 11:09

Then at 3 there's the "monsters" phase to look forward to according to friends!

MrsSchmaltzyMerryHenry · 12/02/2009 11:17

Haha! Great, can't wait!

hollyhobbie · 12/02/2009 12:07

Ooh yes, we're doing monsters, bears and wolves... good to know DD (age 3.9) is so textbook!

duckyfuzz · 12/02/2009 12:09

we have a dimmer switch which I turn down gradually through the evening

GooseyLoosey · 12/02/2009 12:12

Could you leave a hall light on and give him a "big boy" torch in case he wants more light?

vacaloca · 12/02/2009 12:13

we used to do the hallway light which was a bit annoying for us. Now they have this in their bedroom and they love it. Also easy to take with you when staying somewhere else.

Nightcrawly · 12/02/2009 12:26

I would just leave him to grow out of it TBH, but there is a good book about darkness
here it looks abit scary but it is not, it all about how Mr Dark comes to play and how nice he is.

RedtartanLass · 12/02/2009 12:34

I'm having exactly the same problem with ds3 who has just turned 5! Never had the light on, always slept in total darkness, but now I have to check cupboards, under beds etc for monsters!! Just started this last week that I have to put him to bed and then check on him every 5 mins until he gets to sleep, to make sure the monsters haven't got him. Never had this problem with other 2 boys, which initially made me not as sympathetic as I should have been. However as I can see he is actually scared and it's not a delaying getting to bed tactic, I have been more patient

ElenorRigby · 12/02/2009 12:35

We strung up a set of fairy lights for DSD and used them with a dimmer plug to reduce the brightness. We told DSD that the fairys of the lights were looking out for her and that they would shoo any silly monsters away.
We also got DSD some fairy dust (small sparkly/glittery hearts and stars, you can get them from Tesco/Asda etc) and played sprinkling fairy dust in her wardrobe underneath her bed etc. We said that would shoo the silly monsters away too.
Since we've done the bove she no longer has nightmares. She's 6 btw.
We also have a soft lamp lit in DD's room, she's 17 months old.
I was scared of the dark as a child. Its entirely normal. I think it's a bit harsh to push them into something they are really afriad of.

notsofarnow · 12/02/2009 12:51

my dd is 6 and will soon wake up screaming if the light is off its a plug in ikea star with an extemely dim bulb in but as others have said its enough to make them feel secure she shares with her 5 yr old db and he would happily sleep with no light but it doesn't bother him it being on. Its no big deal to me so am in no rush to end it. I never ever closed bedroom door till very recently and i'm 37