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How do i boost DD2s confidence and self esteem?

5 replies

DisasterArea · 10/02/2009 19:34

she is a funny old thing. always won't try stuff because she thinks it will be too hard. doesn't want to do new things in case she fails. has temper ishoos at the best of times and can be a stroppy mare.
has also had health ishoos over last year, mostly now sorted.
had a really really shite time last year (yr 5) with lots of school phobia/refusal stuff. now in yr 5 has been much better going to school and doing after school sports again. am so pleased with her because it has been so hard and she's been really brave. i have told her this many times.
she's bright, or could be if she belived in herself a bit more.
i've always told both DDs that they can do anything if they want to, achieve whatever they aim for if they work for it. this has worked for DD1 who is happy and confident and gets on just fine.
we do stuff together as a family and just her and me (when we get the time anyway). she is improving slowley and actually did her homework this evening and only came to ask for help at the end when she'd done all she could.
i don't want her growing up all shy and neurotic and not daring to do stuff she wants to. how can i give her a bit of a boost?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mrsmaidamess · 10/02/2009 19:43

Any tiny achievement,like coming home on time, helping you tidy up, keeping her room tidy etc praise praise praise.

Talk to her about what she couldn't do when she was younger that she can do now. Be specific in your praise , rather than 'Good Girl', tell her for example 'Delivering that letter for me showed I can really trust you'

I have a very 'negative' child, and its hard work. But no one has the power to boost her confidence more than you.

DisasterArea · 10/02/2009 19:46

good. thanks. it is hard work trying to say 'well done, you laid the table really neatly' without sounding daft or patronising.
will try harder.

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mrsmaidamess · 10/02/2009 19:49

I know, it is exhausting, and sounds really false at first. But once you start doing it more, it becomes more natural. And I bet you notice a difference in your dd.

However, I'm not sure kids understand stuff like 'Believe in yourself a bit more'. They do need specifics...'you are really good at Art, your picture really stood out' etc etc.

I'm sure I'm teaching grandma to suck eggs here

DisasterArea · 10/02/2009 19:53

not at all. need reminding. you'd think after 13 years of doing it i'd be fairly good buit don't think i am. will start tonight.
may make a list and then keep it to prompt me.

good at arty stuff
good at rugby (!)
funny
kind to cats
etc etc......

OP posts:
mrsmaidamess · 10/02/2009 20:02

Well there you go..that's loads to be starting off with. How great to be good at rugby!

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