HEAD-BUTTING

[Happylady]

My 17 month old son is head butting not children
but the walls and floors, can anyone suggest any
way we can stop him, before he hurts himself, as the moment we have to grab him or put a cushion in
the way so he hits the cushion. We have tried to ignore it, tell him off or distract him. He does not do it all the time but will suddenly start.

Happylady - try and ignore it, I certainly wouldn't recommend the cushion. It is very unlikely that he would hurt himself very badly. I remember when my eldest was two seeing a friend of his headbutting the floor, and I thought "That child must be seriously understimulated and deprived"! (I don't know what I was thinking.) Since then my youngest has come along and cause me to rethink lots of my previous bigotted opinions. He was a big head-banger. I can't remember at what age he started, but he would throw a full blown tantrum and bang his head on the floor. But although he appeared completely out of control, he wasn't. Proof of this was that if we happened to be outside on tarmac or on the patio when the tantrum struck he would control himself and not bang his head! Occasionally he would get a little carpet burn on his head, but that's nothing major in the world of a toddler, is it? We just ignored it, like any other tantrum, (and tried hard not to laugh).

Anyway, the good news is, he doesn't do it any more, (he's two next week). I can't remember when he stopped - I didn't really notice it. Reading your message made me realise that he has stopped, so thank you for your encouragement.

Good luck in the ignoring game! I hope it's a phase that passes quickly.

I remember my son Oliver (now 5) embarking on a head-banging phase. I was initially horrified grabbing at his head to stop him and picking him straight way. Clever little buggers aren't they!!! I was racked with guilt for the terrible life he must lead to force him to bang his head on the floor. Then one day in the Supermarket when he couldn't have his own way (aged about 2) he promptly fell to floor and started banging his head. I stopped and watched and realised that he was in full control of how hard he was doing it. Hard as it was at the time, I merely said 'Oh Dear' and physically stepped over him and carried on walking a little. The look on his face was priceless and I am really pleased to say that he stopped this habit almost immediately. I reckon ignoring is probably the best method although obviously making sure that the child is not really doing some damage. Worth a shot though!